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Suleiman -> RE: Being Released and Letting Go (12/30/2007 5:21:53 AM)
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I can be pretty damn stubborn about my personal boundaries. Usually, in the past, when there was a breakup, it was essentially mutual - we went our separate ways and remained friends, and never renewed the old dynamic. There was one, though that was long, drawn out, and just ugly. I eventually decided that I had to cut off all ties. It's been more than ten years since then, but every so often, I hear some war-story from a friend of a friend, and I've come to the conclusion I made the right choice. That being said, by and large, I don't recommend it. Lots of regrets, lots of energy spent on keeping those barriers up, and all you get for your troubles is a lot of hurt feelinggs and a sour knot in your stomach.
It looks like you've got the clue you need. Spend a little time searching your soul for answers. Spending time away during the "rebound" period is usually a good idea, but don't cut him off entirely.
It DOES sound like you two need to sit down and talk, now that I think about it. You need to get a clear explanation from him about why your formal relationship was dissolved, and where he intends to go from here (since he apparantly wants you in his life still) - you also need to be able to tell him whet you want and need. If you both keep crossing each other's boundaries (as you suspect) then there surely needs to be some further communication, and possibly some compromise (of course, perhaps the compromise is simply to dissolve the formal relationship - but that should be a compromise, not an ultimatum).
Okay, so I'm rambling. Any way, I hope that helps. Buck up - it sounds like you're starting down the right path.
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