Second Chances

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Second Chances

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Second Chances

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Second Chances - 12/31/2007 9:03:34 AM

MsPleasure

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline

I've been on Collarme a year now. I have learned a few things and have much more to go. I'm sure I passed up some great subs because of my comfort level. Has anyone given a sub, dom or domme a second chance once they had more experience under their belt? If so how did it work out?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Second Chances - 12/31/2007 9:14:00 AM

Rushemery

Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

not normally, I bet there are people out there who it has worked for but I dont like to revisit the past myself and normally tell people not to

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Second Chances - 12/31/2007 9:57:38 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

I have never been able to make a second go round work, either in 'nilla or BDSM relationships. There are certain defining moments in a relationship and once you have crossed them, the trust, hope, and faith are gone, and can not be rebuilt.

Now I am talking about relationships that were physical in nature...not online romances. If it were just an online thing that didn't work out, I would have no problem if it looked like it could become a real relationship.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Second Chances - 12/31/2007 10:01:40 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

People often experiance growth , in growth there can be highs and lows ,revelations and growing pains ,gains and set backs .Though it can be tough to better a first impression i have seen it done .Additional "chances" are dependant on how bad both of you desire the relationship to move ahead and foreward .Some are set in their ways and wish to have no change within themselves and may not be compatable while others move out of a first impressions stage or problem they have now worked through in the past .
Perhaps the real question would be ,why did you pass up this person in the first place ?Have they grown past or worked through what the problem was ?You state it was your comfort level so maybe it was you who have grown too .Compatability ,attreaction s, and communications .

(in reply to Rushemery)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Second Chances - 12/31/2007 10:07:17 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I think it's natural for this question to come to mind at this time of year. It's a time for reflection and looking back on the paths W/we chose. Some of U/us are just the types to wonder what would have happened had W/we gone left intstead of right. To wonder if the decisions made were the right ones.

With something as easy as a better confident level, I don't see any reason why not to extend a second chance. If the opportunity has passed by, at least you know that for certain. If it hasn't, it might not be too late.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Second Chances - 12/31/2007 10:31:05 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

We gave each other a second chance, but experience was not the reason we had problems to begin with....

It depends on the individuals, the dynamic, and what happened since the couple parted ways as to whether or not it can work... It takes a lot of hard work usually. I find in life our rewards are directly related to how much effort we put into things. It depends on if both are willing to put forward that effort if they find that the bond is still there and they want to reconnect. So while it takes a lot of hard work, relationships take a lot of work in my experience

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Second Chances - 12/31/2007 11:13:28 AM

MsPleasure

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline

I was upfront about being new and and wanting to take my time. Even though they sounded great. Nothing physical ever came out of it, just chatting, or phone calls.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Profile

Post #: 7