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Termyn8or -> RE: My New Outlook on Ethics (1/7/2008 3:10:00 PM)
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I think that in a comprehensive discussion of ethics there needs to be a point made. The subject of selective ethics.
I will attempt to explain. For this I need a beer. Ahhhhh, much better.
No Man stands so tall as when he stoops to meet a child. From what I am about to say, I exclude children because of the obvious reason. But when people are supposedly full grown adults, I expect them to act like it. Many do not.
There are several types of people in someone's life. Family, chosen family, friends, acquaintences, random and assholes.
Now assholes include the government and big money. They screw us every day and I will return the favor as often as I can. I will lie to them, steal from them, cheat them in any way possible, and I am already a non-taxpayer. I am being honest about this because of the venue here, and it is a valid point and important to the subject.
All these classes of people interact in so many ways. Take the case of a lost kid. What do you do if you find a lost kid ? You find a cop. You can trust a cop to find the kid's Parents, and also if they are just all high and neglecting the kid, do something about it. You can trust them to do this. But when it comes to direct interaction between you and them, for driving or drugs or something, I see no problem with any obfuscation or prevarication used for self preservation. No problem with it at all, do as thou wilt.
Yes, you can trust the cops to get the kid home, but in most other matters you say what you need to say for your own well being. They do not protect and serve us, they protect and serve the government, but none are nasty enough to mishandle the finding of a lost child. There is some good in everybody, as well as bad.
So you hand the kid over and go driving down the street. Those people are what I would call random. They owe you nothing and you owe them nothing. In this realm an act of charity might take place. I have about six winter coats and they are going to go in the trunk of my car. If I see someone out in the cold who needs one I will give it to them.
I will not give them money, no way. But they're not freezing their ass of anymore. They still owe me nothing, that's what charity is, not writing a check to lower your taxes.
All I owe the random element in society is what they owe me, mutual respect. I don't know them or their merits, but they have a right to exist and I don't have the right to fuck that up. Then we go up one rung on the ladder to friends.
Friends can call you if their car breaks down, or to borrow a few bucks until payday. They can ask you to help them move. And you do it.
Up another rung is chosen family. These are your close friends, almost soulmates. These are people you would kill or maybe even die for. One of mine almost went to jail for me, and I just don't want to go into those circumstances right this moment. But suffice it to say, he's in. I consider myself lucky to have a pretty good number in the chosen family. The idea is to keep it that way. These are people to whom I can loan my credit cards, car, anything. Let them in my house when I am not here, all of that. But when they call for help, I would drop everything. I brought a crowd of rowdies over to his Mother-in-law's neighborhood to straighten out a situation. I am glad she moved.
The risk was phenomenal, we did not know if these fuckers had guns, and right now I only have one so it does not leave the house. But I went anyway. Admittedly I had some backup, and as such I owe that type of loyalty to those who accompanied me that day.
The top rung of the ladder is actual family. Mine is quite small, and after my violent, misspent and detrimental youth, I am surprised that I have not beeen disowned. I was hell. Once I was 15 I was hell on wheels. My Parents would cringe every time the phone rang. "What did he do now ?". And I mean this, if I were them I would have probably gotten rid of me, I am serious about this. But I am not disowned, and now a bit more enlightened I realize this, and count it for the loyalty it is. After the years, I now realize how hard I was on them, and I am sorry. But their attitude is like mine, you can't undo the past.
And that top of the ladder, the part you set a screwdriver on once in a while, where no sane person stands, that is YOU. It all falls into place. Because if you are not number one in your own book, nobody is.
So the fact of the matter is, you come first. A nursing Mother even must feed herself first and foremost. You come first, to say otherwise is a lie. Don't ever lie, I mean to people. Lie to the cable company, lie to the government, because you do it out of fear, the terrorization I mentioned. But do not lie to people. To lie is to give away power. The people who it is OK to lie to have taken the power, and are pretty much invincable. So lie. Be careful, but just do what you have to do to keep you going.
With other people, even the random element there is no reason to lie. And when it comes to friends, chosen family and family, never lie.
We live in a world of many different people with widely varying ethical beliefs. Of course I believe mine are right, you may not. If I didn't agree with myself I would be lying.
Let us bring this back to Earth, a simple question that has a million answers. Ethics, 001.
If they give you too much change at the store do you give it back or keep it ? Let's put this into a trump suit, you bought about $21 worth of stuff and intended to hand them a fifty. But you screwed up and grabbed a twenty. They gave you change back from a fifty. We are no longer talking a couple of dollars here.
The thing is, who are you fucking over by keeping that money ?
Just like in the game Monopoly "bank error in your favor", has any player ever turned that down ? I think not but that is a game. This is real. You gave them a twenty, got twenty-nine in change and got your goods worth twenty-one. You still have your fifty.
Now if that really comes from a big company or the gov, take it, but there is another factor here. That cashier has to balance out before going home. That might amount to a half a day's pay.
Now whaddya think ?
That made me think of something that happened years ago, actually about a decade ago. I was not in too good a shape then, I was just coming out of the back thing, the sciactic nerve problem. I was hurting for money bad.
A guy I know, I had to get rid of him. This was the second time he ripped off my neighbors. First time was when we were young and out on a howl but it got to be time to stop at Mom's house for a shower and a change of clothes, and of course to see if she was cooking anything good. I went in, she did not really like him so he waited out in my car.
Well I get out, hopped in and took off down the road, but all the sudden my car was surrounded. I almost had to run people over to get out of there alive. Turns out this fuckhead had taken to stealing a few car radios while I was getting cleaned up. Should've gotten rid of him then.
The next time was where I am now. Walks in the door saying he found a jacket with eleven dollars and a pager in it. Lucky him. Well, I am thinking OK, he found it out in an intersection somewhere, turn the pager in and lets get eleven dollars worth of beer.
What I did not know at the time is that it was not out in the street somewhere. If that were the case, sorry about your luck on the eleven bucks. Throw the pager in a mailbox. He gave the jacket to someone else, a buddy of mine who was here at the time and we basically thought nothing of it.
Next day my neighbor tells me that someone owes him a jacket, a pager and eleven bucks. Turns out he "found" this on my nextdoor neighbor's front lawn. It was taken off and put there when he went to play hacky-sack in the street.
I called the asshole and told him to get that pager back here NOW OR ELSE. He replied that he could turn it in for a few bucks. I gave him the verbal thrashing of his life, and even though he was bigger and stronger, he knew I packed a punch. He brought it back. I called the dude he gave the jacket to and told him he has to bring it back.
I gave the items back to my neighbor sans the eleven bucks of course. Not much later I was partying over there (they got a fire pit and all that) and I handed him eleven bucks. Out of my own pocket. I told him "I brought the asshole here so here's your money".
Sometimes you get respect doing shit like that.
So it was around then that I excommunicated the asshole entirely. No more. Totally. I just can't have him around here, and how he is, well I just can't completely explain.
So anyway a few months later his olady shows up at my door. Giving out that eleven bucks hurt me, I was not pulling down alot of money at the time. She had a flat nearby and remembered where I live.
She shows up at my door, she is an older Woman, and a nice person. I don't exactly remember but either she coundn't figure out how to get the jack out of it's stowage or it was rusted or something. But she drove on the flat tire to the nearest place she knew anyone, which was my house.
I got the big floor jack and went out and changed her tire, she actually had a real spare. Then she hands me a twenty dollar bill. Remember I was hurting money wise at the time. I asked her "Do you maybe have a ten, this is too much". She did not. She started crying, I would've taken five, and if I could afford to I would just give it back. But I know her, she would've cried anyway.
I actually feel bad about taking that twenty to this day. I swear if I was even in the marginal (I think) condition I am in now I would have not accepted the money. But things were really bad back then.
I am sure one of the reasons she cried is because I excommunicated her olman. But when I get rid of somebody they usually stay gone. If they impose themselves on me afterward I will REALLY get rid of them. Take that however you want it, just realize it can mean many things, alot of them not so sinister. Don't read the worst into everything.
You may think I am full of shit, but I know the people involved and if it was made worth my while we could set a date and you can meet them and have them confirm what I have said. I am not bullshitting. I really do feel bad about taking that twenty, even though it was freely given. And having ex-friends is no fun either. Another excommunicatee contacted someone, misses me. Well that guy ripped me off three times. Ron said it, told me this guy called and my exact words were "I decline".
See morality and ethics are not only optional, in use, they are absolute in form. Having ethics does not mean to be nice to everybody. No way in hell. Last count, two people are being punished by me, by my absence from their lives. And it will continue for the rest of their lives. Do I have a big head on my shoulders ? of course I do. Am I right in keeping certain people away from me and my home ? of course I am.
Am I wrong to do so ? If you think so you wouldn't be reading this.
All this is true. I live this.
Life does go on without the Terminator. Of that there is no doubt. You make judgements, you have to. They say judge not lest ye be judged yourself, and I am all for that. Be judged.
Now "grasshopper" LOL, it is time.
Next stage, charmed, is admission. Admission to something you have done that you regret. That is the next stage, do it out here in the forum. I just let everyone in the world know something I did which I regret. If you desire personal growth at this point, it is your turn to do so.
I know you are not going to say that you have never done anything you regretted. That would make you the real Jesus. If you are, please change your CM profile to indicate that :-)
Let's hear one of those regrets. Your turn.
T
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