Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

LDR Question


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> LDR Question Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
LDR Question - 1/1/2008 6:56:55 AM   
ligar59


Posts: 55
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 7:04:49 AM   
childoftheshadow


Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline
When my partner and I first got together, we would only be physically together every 3-4 months. It wouldn't have worked if it weren't for the fact that we both knew that in time we would be together 24/7

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 7:11:57 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
i have been in relationships where we could only realistically be together every other weekend and it worked out well.  The distance was not the reason or cause of those relationships not lasting.... in the end, it was not having common relationship goals over a very long period of time.  After about 18 months in each of those relationships i was ready to move on, but remain friends.

In my current relationship we can only be together physically one long (4-5 day) weekend every other month, however, because we DO share common goals for our relationship we are putting together the means necessary to make it 24/7.  Had we let the distance be a barrier in the beginning we would have lost out on the special connection we have. 

good luck to you



_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 7:13:58 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?

i did with Daddy and we'll be celebrating 2 yrs of togetherness in Aug.

i don't need to physically touch, hold or feel him to know i'm loved and cherished which wouldn't for others however, it has worked well for us.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 8:11:41 AM   
lockmeupplease


Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?


Absolutely.  I've been in relationships where we work very different hours or have other obligations that make it diificult to get together during the week, so weekends and vacations worked out fine.  Of course, if you really want someone that you can see several times a week and that will never be a possibility for them, then maybe you should look elsewhere.

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 8:15:54 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
It does put stress on a relationship to be far apart, but I am in a relationship in which I usually see him once every week or two for about 4 or 5 days at a time (as our schedules permit).  If I did not think that we would eventually be livning together I would not put up with the distance because it is rather frustrating.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 8:44:50 AM   
Hergirl0824


Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
my Mistress and i don't get to physically be together as often as we would like because of distance and family commitments, so we are both very diligent to make sure we have daily contact through emails, IM and long phone calls...good communications skills are a must but it can work if both are commited to it and each other

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 10:53:04 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
I have been doing , there has been off and one periods now for 6 months,  misunderstandings can occur much easier when then is no physical contact, visual or voice inflection to words on  a screen,  he lives out in the country where he only has dial up so most contact is from he is at work, which created an element of suspicion on my part that he was married of involved initially, sometimes typed words lost their meaning , which has caused a lot of extra bumps moreso in relationship where you see each other on a regular basis, more trust is needed  as doubts could surface that the other person maybe seeing others due to the long lapses of time between seeing each other, the potential for the relationship to lead eventually to 24/7 is far slimmer, doesn't mean it can't there are several success stories here on CM but the majority will not survive. forming relationships  in itself is a gamble, the odds against become greater the farther apart , with the less contact you have  with each other,  and the costs involved tend to be higher . much like playing cards at a casino  you can choose to play at the dollar tables or the $25 - $50 tables, you have to decide how much risk your prepared to take  knowing if you play at the $50 take the odds are you will take bigger loses if you don't win. Only you can decide how much risk you are willing to assume.  Right now I am taking the big gamble but I know if it does not work out, chances are I will avoid in the future, only because I now know how difficult it is

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Hergirl0824)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 11:18:12 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?


Sure. For a long distence relationship, I would consider that a lot of contact.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 12:02:42 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
That's a lot of time together. We saw each other about every six weeks for two days, and that went on for two years.

You work, she works, you do housework at night, go grocery shopping, see friends, tie dry flies or whatever your hobby is. And then you have the weekends totally free to spend together.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 2:11:59 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?


I think that depends on the depth of the relationship. If all both of you want or need is casual play, that sounds like plenty of opportunities.

I could handle only occasional contact for awhile, but if my sub and I want to pursue a LTR, I'm going to need more physical contact than that, even if relocation is involved.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 2:33:14 PM   
ligar59


Posts: 55
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
Thank you all for your input

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: LDR Question - 1/1/2008 2:58:47 PM   
goodgirl08


Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline
Yes, it's very common around here. Once a week is a lot more than many of us seem to get, lol.

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: LDR Question - 1/2/2008 4:13:17 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?


good gods yes....

i dont get to see Daddy *that* much now.  i saw him in december...before that was september.  we email constantly and talk via IM probably once a day but i'd really rather see him more often than that.

i'll see him when i can and be happy about that.

kitten

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: LDR Question - 1/2/2008 4:48:35 AM   
Sexynmentalinkc


Posts: 132
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline
I could definitely start off with this but keeping it up would get...challenging, from a frustration standpoint (especially if the dynamic were going really well).

I think, for me, this would have to be in the realm of a stepping-stone to something more. In the past, I've had this sort of thing and, while it's partially fulfilling, it obviously falls very short of ideal.



*tips his hat*

- Mr. S

_____________________________

"I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. ...I'm certainly not. And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am..."

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: LDR Question - 1/2/2008 6:17:43 AM   
BadGodLJE


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/7/2004
Status: offline
One of my closest friends and play partners has only seen be for about 21 days in the last year but we still manage to stay in touch and as friends with the promise of more when I get a chance to see her again.  The trick with us is realistic expectations.  When I enlisted we knew how things were going to be and we framed our relationship in such a way that allows us to stay in touch no matter what.  We write letters, emails, chat and call when we can and neither of us allows the distance or questions about what life could have been like if we had only done things differently to interfere with the feelings that make it work.

Keep your eyes on the prize and anything is possible.

Levi

(in reply to Sexynmentalinkc)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: LDR Question - 1/2/2008 6:32:23 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?


To me, it seems like the important question is will that type of a relationship be able to meet your needs?
aJ

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: LDR Question - 1/2/2008 7:07:51 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline
Yes...I have and am currently in one right now.  Since I could not find a domme that I was compatible with in my state, I expended my search and found Mistress in West Virginia.  There are very few dommes in Louisiana who are really into the D/s rubber lifestyle, so I had to look elsewhere.  Ba da bing!!!  I found my Queen!   I just had to look as far from Louisiana as possible to find her.

Both Mistress and I knew the distance was going to be very painful at times, but we are planning for the future.  We are willing to put forth the effort to keep things going until She gets time away from school for spring break.  We log many hours of phone time and lots of e-mail and pictures.  Mmmmm, I can't wait to finally wrap my arms around Her!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: LDR Question - 1/2/2008 8:37:22 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline
That is something i presonally could not handle i need to see him more than that.  I need to feel his touch see his face be held in his arms.  That is why a LDR would not work for me.  It does work for some though.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: LDR Question - 1/2/2008 5:45:12 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59
Would you enter into a relationship where you could only have physical contact your Dominant on most weekends and vacation time?


I'd be very happy to have that, even with someone local to me.  Having UM's and visitation with them every other weekend; being in a relationship where we saw each other every weekend unless it involved including the UM's wouldn't be practical anyway.  Unless we lived together, weeknights often include other obligations.
 
I've been in a LDR which wasn't what I thought would essentially be a LDR as we were only a bit over 3 hours away.  In that situation it was rarely more than once/month that we saw each other and it was often more like 6 weeks, which I found very difficult to deal with having been led to believe there'd be more frequent visits and generally more overall time spent together as well.  So to see a partner every weekend would by comparison seem like heaven to me!
 
 - pixel


_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> LDR Question Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.093