RE: The underachieving disease (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

dcnovice -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 9:52:44 PM)

<never mind>



dawntreader -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 9:54:25 PM)

i wonder if her master is her supplier...



MadRabbit -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 9:56:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

Some people are cut out for the exclusive kind.



How many in that exclusion are emotional cripples and spiritually inept?



kitttty -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 9:58:50 PM)

quote:

Not really. Objectively, what the person did was make a decision to leave school with a high grade point average and take on a job that they turned out to not likely.


No. You are wrong. This person left something that required a type of skill and offered the possibility of advancement and a unique kind of gratification for an unskilled and dead end position. These are not really equal for someone who has the interest and potential to succeed at the former.

Based on her SAT score and grades, she probably can become a doctor. It's unfortunate that you would say that being a cashier is a good decision for her to make.
She isn't happy. And even if she were, she would have a lot of regrets 10 years from now.

She made the decision to do this in order to be able to be close and available for her owners, who did not pay her enough attention.

In the would you give up your career for submission thread, almost no one said they wanted to give up their career. Thus, how is it reasonable to destroy someone's career over the belief that mere submission to you will be good enough to keep them happy forever?

quote:

Of course, it's clear your too myopic to understand this any other way, but I am kind of enjoying the rebutting.


Im no more myopic than you are. You underestimate my perception of your side of this.



kitttty -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 9:59:54 PM)

quote:


You started this thread on underachieving subs not living to their potential and now you are saying you are a homeless herion addict and i should think you are content and not judge you by your own standards and you want to dominant others when you cannot even control your own life?
This has to be a joke!


duh.



littlehumbledone -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 9:59:59 PM)

I am a classic OVERacheiver, and a need to pleaser as well, if I do something I always do it well.




juliaoceania -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:01:16 PM)

kittty,

Going back to the premise of this thread, underachieving academically is usually related to personal problems, not submissiveness.

Now 4 people is not a huge sampling. And I am sure at some point you met people at school who were underachievers of both genders.

Now please clarify, are you saying that all underachievers are submissive females?



preiapet -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:02:22 PM)

I would probably be considered an underachiever by you kittty, but I think you are missing out on some things.  I have made it all the way through high school, college, and my Master's degree with a 4.0 gpa.  However, I have a job that while needed is not respected.  To many, even those in my family who wanted me to be a doctor, I am an underachiever.  However, I followed my own passion.  I love my job.  I make a difference in the world.  I work with those who would definitely be considered underachievers.  They are not underachievers; they just have not found their passion yet.

For some people, money, prestige, and power are their passions.  This seems to be what you think everyone's passion should be.  Just because you want a job where other people look up to you, or where you make more money than others does not mean that the rest of the world uses those standards.  I do not use those standards at all. 

For my parents, and for several who have posted here, family was their passion.  They did what they needed to do to spend time with their family.  Other things just were not as important.  They found their passion and pursued it.

The only underachievers that I know are the ones who let someone else tell them what they should do rather than take the time to find their own passion.  It is truly hard to be motivated to survive the truly hard times and difficult trials that any course in life presents us when we are not following our own passion.



SunnyTawse -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:03:48 PM)

An heretical viewpoint here. I think we all do the best we can.

I have come to believe that the tendency to achieve or not achieve is something partially innate, similar to intelligence in that external conditions can have an effect upon it, but that for the most part, it is something people are born with.

I was labeled an underachiever in school, even though I graduated HS early and was at the University of Minnesota when I was 17. OK, so maybe I could have done better... but there are many factors we deal with in life. Maturity, motivation and ability to execute are valid factors in and of themselves.

There are also periods in my life that I could point to and with a certain amount of awe and wonder how I managed to accomplish what I did. It seems to me that what might look like a clear-cut case from the outside can be much more complex when experienced from within.

And if I don't get off this computer and get some sleep, it will take heroism to heft my 59-year-old body out of bed at 6 a.m.!!

'Night all!

Sunny Tawse
Sadien Domina



kitttty -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:07:03 PM)

quote:


For some people, money, prestige, and power are their passions. This seems to be what you think everyone's passion should be. Just because you want a job where other people look up to you, or where you make more money than others does not mean that the rest of the world uses those standards. I do not use those standards at all.


Ok, there is a lot of projecting in this thread. Um no.

This is not about being a nurse vs a doctor or a social worker vs a doctor. This is about being a stripper/hooker vs having any sort of a real job at all.

quote:

I have made it all the way through high school, college, and my Master's degree with a 4.0 gpa.


Yes, this makes you already unlike the people I speak of.



kitttty -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:10:19 PM)

quote:

Now please clarify, are you saying that all underachievers are submissive females?


No. I know men who are underachievers- submissive or not.

It would seem to me that for some people submissiveness becomes a psychological problem because they fail to separate reality and fantasy in a sense.





dawntreader -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:13:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:


You started this thread on underachieving subs not living to their potential and now you are saying you are a homeless herion addict and i should think you are content and not judge you by your own standards and you want to dominant others when you cannot even control your own life?
This has to be a joke!


duh.


i can't even imagine you would think that you can be taken seriously...you certainly deserve what you are attracting - of that there is no doubt. It is not surprising you keep your "sub trolling" identity secret~



MadRabbit -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:15:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

No. You are wrong. This person left something that required a type of skill and offered the possibility of advancement and a unique kind of gratification for an unskilled and dead end position. These are not really equal for someone who has the interest and potential to succeed at the former.


Which means...*drum roll* she made a decision to leave school...

I happen to be one of those people. I dropped out of high school and got my GED over family issues. With my IQ and grade point average at the time, I could have probably ended in any number of high paying positions.

At first, I worked a dead end job, but eventually down the road, I went to culinary school which lead to a lengthy career in professional kitchens.

The end result of that and all my other "dead end jobs" is a collection of skill sets which is leading me to go into business as a private chef and caterer.

I couldn't be happier with the way my life is heading.

I'm sure someone like you would have labeled me as an "underachiever" and cast negative judgment over my decisions, but amazing what happens with time.

Whether or not any of those high paying jobs I could have had if my life had gone a different course would have been "gratifying" is for me to decide and not you, by the way.

quote:


Based on her SAT score and grades, she probably can become a doctor. It's unfortunate that you would say that being a cashier is a good decision for her to make.


I would appreciate if you could point to where I suggested that it was. I said that whether it was good or bad was for her to decide and not through "kitty's philosophy of your realization".

quote:


She isn't happy. And even if she were, she would have a lot of regrets 10 years from now.


Is that a fact?

Do other people in your exclusive group have the power of omniscience?

Because I don't have any. My negative experiences and the decisions I have made that you might determine were "bad" (as if somehow your opinion of my or her life matters at all) are what brought me to where I am now and defined my character as an individual.

quote:


She made the decision to do this in order to be able to be close and available for her owners, who did not pay her enough attention.

In the would you give up your career for submission thread, almost no one said they wanted to give up their career. Thus, how is it reasonable to destroy someone's career over the belief that mere submission to you will be good enough to keep them happy forever?


It's still her decision and her responsibility. The possibly negative consequences of that decision doesn't provide anymore objectivity to your negative metaphysical concept of an "underachiever" which you are trying to present as something every objectively solicits to.

Do you even know what your arguing anymore or have you lost yourself in your own obfuscations?

quote:


Im no more myopic than you are. You underestimate my perception of your side of this.


You sure?



juliaoceania -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:23:00 PM)

I would have a hard time with a dom/me that told me what would fulfill me and make me happy and actualize me... how the hell do they know?

I have the same opinion of a dominant that would order his sub/slave to drop out of school as I have of a dominant that would order them into a profession they had no thought of before he ordered it.

To me, in my opinion, personally, I have respect for dominants that would encourage their sub/slaves to experience a wide range of things before making such a choice as to drop out of school or enter a profession that they had never expressed any desire to do...

I also have some trouble respecting dom/mes that have such disrespect for common people and feel doing an average job for the experience of seeing how other people live is beneath them in some way.... But I have a tree hugging liberal Daddy that overtips, is polite to everyone, and doesn't think any work is beneath anyone... although he does have contempt for people with that attitude...



dcnovice -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:25:07 PM)

quote:

It would seem to me that for some people submissiveness becomes a psychological problem because they fail to separate reality and fantasy in a sense.


Suppose, for argument's sake, that that's true. What then?



MadRabbit -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:25:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would have a hard time with a dom/me that told me what would fulfill me and make me happy and actualize me... how the hell do they know?



I'm sure Maslow wrote some stuff about "other-self-actualization" that never got published.



kitttty -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:28:18 PM)


quote:


I'm sure someone like you would have labeled me as an "underachiever" and cast negative judgement over my decisions, but amazing what happens with time.


I do not believe all people need to go to college.

But put it this way, if you were a bus boy now, I would think you were an underachiever. If you did not see yourself that way, you would be wrong because apparebtly you have the potential to be a chef.

I knew a girl who tried to be premed and I told her to become a chef, because she would be much better at that.

So no, I do not think you have to make money and have two cars in your garage, but there is definitely a point where someone is just not using their time and youth wisely.

What miniscule percent of stripers ever make anything useful out of that 'career'?



juliaoceania -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:28:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would have a hard time with a dom/me that told me what would fulfill me and make me happy and actualize me... how the hell do they know?



I'm sure Maslow wrote some stuff about "other-self-actualization" that never got published.


Maslow is one of my favorites too



kitttty -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:33:54 PM)

quote:

Suppose, for argument's sake, that that's true. What then?


I think some psychologists should study the phenomenon and develop therapy for it.

Some things just need to be done in moderation. Masochism is probably one of those things.

Dieting: ok. Anorexia: Bad.



juliaoceania -> RE: The underachieving disease (1/1/2008 10:40:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

Suppose, for argument's sake, that that's true. What then?


I think some psychologists should study the phenomenon and develop therapy for it.

Some things just need to be done in moderation. Masochism is probably one of those things.

Dieting: ok. Anorexia: Bad.


It seems to me that you have a very negative view of what submissiveness is, and all sorts of theories about how flawed submissives are in some way.

I will say that they have a personality disorder that they have labeled "dependent personality disorder"... google it, and you will see that there are some people out there that have a real PD that impacts their ability to live life in a happy way. Does this have anything to do with sexual submissiveness? I have no idea, it doesn't for me, and I am a masochist too.

I do not know what your experience is with psychological theory, but you do not seem to know enough about it to be theorizing why people that have certain sorts of sexual fantasies and enjoy being submissive in their personal relationships are somehow flawed.

If you think that submissives are so crappy, why would you want to own one for yourself or be one?



Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125