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pixelslave -> RE: Psychology of Male submission... (1/2/2008 4:27:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta
quote:
ORIGINAL: pixelslave
First, all kinds of pleasure from giving to others can be eroticised. Cardinal sins and punishment? I think not. This implies a great deal of guilt which one hasn't dealt with and religious overtones that likely don't apply to many of us. I'll add though that certain kinds of scenes and impact play in particular can be very cathartic at times.
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From my point of view, we're all spiritual beings having a human experience. So what is the nature of that spiritual being within us? For me, it's realized as a submissive male. Some people have the need to be in control of everything around them, others don't. Some can surrender that control to another and release something deep within themselves in doing so. The latter would be a description of me. There's something deep within me at the core of my being that desires to submit to the will of another. Part of that is "the submissive slut" as I refer to it, that seeks a woman who knows how to push the right buttons to release it and bring it out, then wants to play with it for both our enjoyment. Not every woman can do that. It's takes a special woman who identifies as a Domme to appreciate and accept that part of me. In time, I hope to find that woman and show her how special that part of me is along with all the fun we can have with it together; as we enrich each other's lives.
- pixel
This is a good and honest description. Thank you.
I have probably encountered 100’s of males in many levels of submission. Although I can’t speak for all nor would I ever attempt to try and figure them out, I do see a common thread that I believe is spiritual. Especially men that exceed the sexual realm and surrender a part of them no one ever sees except the woman they adore. They do it strictly to please her or at least they value that level of suffering as an offering of sorts. It is primal and complicated. The truth is that we all see it differently and then two souls connect and it makes perfect sense.
There could be some type of guilt on an unconscious level. Who really knows for sure. I’ve experienced it but I would never claim to fully understand it. I can even shape it sometimes and manipulate it to my will, however the truth is that I never own it even if they are my property. It really is a personal journey.
Your welcome Dianna. Thank you for the compliment on my post. [:)]
I do indeed believe it is a spiritual thing as one must accept the what exists in their heart within them and it's nature. For me, it's been a journey of introspection and self-acceptance; one of letting go of any shame I felt for being "different" or not fitting society's expectations of me to fit their ideal of masculinity, despite the fact that on the surface, I'm far from effeminent. It's been an experience of learning to love and embrace the submissive within me; appreciating that it's an important part of my being that I can't suppress and a part of me that needs fulfillment. It's also something which I'm no longer ashamed of nor embarrased to admit, instead I'm proud of who and what I am, yet recognize there are those who won't understand nor accept me for being the person I am. I'd also agree with you that it's a very primal thing; particularly as it's something which for me which is at the core of my being. In my experience, those urges and desires are something that can't be denied without enduring great internal conflict and suffering until they've been embraced and accepted by a submissive who has them. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image]
I've also learned that submitting to a woman is something that one sort of allows themselves to "let go" and "relax into", or stated in a different way, gives themself permission to "fall into". IMO, it just can't be forced or expected to naturally occur with just anyone they meet. As trust is built, it's natural for me to relax and slowly fall into the submissive role with a woman as our dynamic develops in what seems to me to be a natural manner, even though it's generally negotiated as to how we'd both like it to ultimately be and we then slowly work toward that as she subtly exerts her dominance and exerts more control over me. In my experience, I don't believe it possible ofr one to go from being totally independent one night to being totally submissive to a woman the next. For me, it's a gradual transition as a relationship and my attachment to a woman develops. I rarely see that discussed here or elsewhere. I often wonder what people expect in that regard and how realistic those expectations are. [8|]
There's also no doubt in my mind that whatever the source that drives one's need to submit to another, it's something they must own and accept as theirs. Responsibility for it can't be transferred to the dominant in a consensual D/s relationship. It has to be owned by the submissive. [&:]
- pixel
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