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Amaros -> RE: Girlfriend thinks I'm gay (1/5/2008 9:15:37 AM)
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I've encountered the same thing myself in conservative social circles, i.e., anal equates to "gay", period, when in fact the key exchange in recreational sex is pheromones, and there isn't anything political about it, it's all about doing what feels good, relieving stress, building intimacy, etc.
It's all part of the anti-gay adgenda, which exploits the anus's status as a symbol of corruption, rather than treating it as another erogenous zone. There is also the Narcissistic bias towards cleanliness, another big bugaboo - a great deal of the people in this country have simply had it drilled into them that that hole is "dirty", and to leave it alone, the rest is guilt by association.
There are going to be people for whom it's simply not their cup of tea, can't stand the smell or whatever, the rest object mainly on political or status grounds, i.e., guilt by association, without ever considering it under the catagory of intimacy.
The best - the only solution here, is communication, she's not going to be interested in anal play if she can't even talk about it. I wasn't always into it myself, I was slightly squicky about it for a long time, in spite of my natural curiosity - perhaps due to some negative reactions from some lovers I had early on to various idle probings, motivated by simple childish curiosity, and it was actually more experienced women who talked me into thinking about, and trying it again.
After some study and research, which included perusing some porn and seeing women enjoying the hell out of it, my perspective eventually shifted, and while I still consider it a side dish rather than the main course, it's definitely part of my bag of tricks.
Thing is, I've found that phobias about anal eroticism often indicate more extensive erotophobias, and these can be very hard to dislodge for certain people - i.e., you might end up having to change partners or accept living a straightjacketed existence. I'd say it's worth a shot to try and communicate if only to try to broaden her perspective a bit. There are huge political issues involved that revolve around the gender benidn aspect of it, boys who like girls who like boys who like boys, or endless variations of same, I like to keep it simple, me Tarzan, you Jane, there si going to be a healthy pheromone exchange regardless of the details of the coupling.
Can't help you with the autofellatio though, if it's gay, then so is masturbation.
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