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ksub4u -> RE: advice for failed relationship (1/4/2008 7:14:18 AM)
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OK, I'm trying to understand what's going on here.
First of all, thank you for your service and commitment to our country. It is admirable, to say the least.
Secondly... this woman is new to the lifestyle, yes? She is discovering what her needs and desires are as a submissive or possibly slave. She's running from the lifestyle while still wanting to hold onto you and what you both had together. You need to be a Dominant within this relationship or it will not work for you.
Perhaps rather than having her pull one way and you pull the other, she could do some reading and self-exploration and discovery while you are apart. If you requested it of her, as a woman who values you, not as her Dominant ordering her to do so - could you give her websites to peruse, books to read, any information which would help her understand both you and herself? This could open up worlds of communication between the two of you towards understanding one another rather than working at odds.
Perhaps she has different views of what a D/s relationship looks like - perhaps she has needs she has yet to discover or has yet to communicate to you because the lines of communication have faltered?
Unless she is willing to do some major self-exploration and talking with you, I don't think this will work. But, if she is willing to open the door a crack and let some information in and can reflect on it to see what appeals to her, there is a chance. She could be fighting who she really is and with your guidance, she can understand more ... or she may just not be who she and you wish she could be.
Good luck to you.
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