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felineone -> RE: Questioning Myself (8/25/2005 6:59:52 PM)
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I don't think we'd be human if we didn't feel like this sometimes. I go through times when i just don't feel like doing what i'm told. i just want to read a book, or whatever, on sunday mornings, not make a huge breakfast, with all the mess to clean up after, etc etc.
When i feel like this, i go back and read some of the books, find some message boards, reread some journals, try to remember wy i signed up for this in the first place. sometimes, i have to ask for a scene or something, to get back "that" feeling.
I remember that i always thought of myself as slave, until i read this book, called "Slavecraft" after i read that, i realized that i would never be like that, never be able acheive that level of blind obedience. it was depressing.
but, we all have a place inside ourselves that we can reach to when the going gets tough. we need to focus, think about why we are here, in this relationship, what is important, what isn't.
being a submissive would be simple if we could acheive that ability to just obey no matter what we are feeling.
it's how we handle these times that is important.
these are the times you will grow in your journey.
good luck!
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