Weight Loss

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Weight Loss

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Weight Loss

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Weight Loss - 8/22/2005 8:57:13 PM

Marshalash

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline

Have any of the other Masters had much success getting your girl(s) to loose weight? I have heard all the damn "body awareness" arguments floating around, but sometimes you just have a girl who needs to shed some #'s for health reasons. There seem to be too many diet ideas out there for me to take the time to investigate. Negative re-enforcement is one method, but that can cause more problems than I care to deal with. So what luck, if any have other Tops had in getting their girls to loose weight? And please don't send me any suggestions that have to do with pig masks.

Post #: 1

RE: Weight Loss - 8/22/2005 9:06:25 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Unless your dom is a nutritionist or doctor or personal trainer, then you or both you and your dom should consult one together. Form a plan and follow through, lower calories, raise activity in a way that works for your body.

People of course can and do lose weight without professional consulting, but other than external discipline and helping you form a game plan, you have to be the one motivated and ready for the change. It's rarely ever about food itself, it's about our life habits.

(in reply to Marshalash)

Post #: 2

RE: Weight Loss - 8/22/2005 9:08:10 PM

anopheles

Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

It is my opinion that positive encouragement and reinforcement is the way to go. Unless you have a sub that is very, VERY into humiliation, using negative reinforcement is a serious danger to any relationship.

My personal experience.... my Luvdragon is not a small girl (incredibly sexy size 16), and she wants to lose weight, simply because it would make it easier for her to find cute clothes. I have no requirement for her to lose weight, i've loved her the way she is, and I always will. But, since it is a strong desire of hers, one of her new tasks will be to exercise, for herself.

Health considerations are another matter...as a Dominant, in my opinion, you should always emphasize to a submissive that they take the utmost care of themselves. For example, if my sub is having health problems related to work, then I would damn sure be hard on her to take care of those issues, because I want to keep her with me, for as long as possible. If losing weight helps me accomplish that goal, then that's what we'll do, all through positive reinforcement.

I would recommend asking your sub why he/she needs to lose weight. Do you want her to do it? Does he/she want to do it for themselves?

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to Marshalash)

Post #: 3

RE: Weight Loss - 8/22/2005 10:33:47 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

mmm this not a simple as the a-b-c's. Understanding the reasons for the overweight issues is an important consideration in building a plan to reduce ones weight. In most cases, lifestyle habits have caused the weight gain issues as well as changes in metabolism. IE eating habits as well as activity levels, plus simple aging process. However, genes and general physical health can be an important factor. If the issue is rooted in the lifestyle habits.. it is developing a plan to change the habits... replacing old habits with new ones. Sometimes radical change is needed... sometimes slow progression is the key. I believe individual consideration must be considered to determine the best options. consultation with nutritionist and doctors could be a very important part of any plan, but are critical if the root of the issue stems from ones genetic or physical health issues. Thirdly, a reasonable expectation of what is the desireable weight as well as reasonable steps in the plan. Unrealistic expectations/goals can be just as damaging as negative reinforcements...

I personally been successful in reducing my own weight 20 lbs. Not a big amount but it was significant for myself. My girl lost approx 40 lbs at the same time. For us it was changing some basic eating habits and recognizing that as we aged our metabolism was changing... and we needed to change are eating habits to match.

I also wish to point out that some basic character strenghts are needed to achieve any goal... Persistence & Self-Control being two that come to mind. so to achieve the goal of weight lost... understand the reasons, develope the plan and be persistant and exercise self-control to achieve the goals. It is possible that one needs to improve the strengths of persistence and self-control to achieve ones desire goal.

KoM

(in reply to anopheles)

Post #: 4

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 5:09:38 AM

ragdoll

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

mmm this not a simple as the a-b-c's. Understanding the reasons for the overweight issues is an important consideration in building a plan to reduce ones weight. In most cases, lifestyle habits have caused the weight gain issues as well as changes in metabolism. IE eating habits as well as activity levels, plus simple aging process. However, genes and general physical health can be an important factor. If the issue is rooted in the lifestyle habits.. it is developing a plan to change the habits... replacing old habits with new ones. Sometimes radical change is needed... sometimes slow progression is the key. I believe individual consideration must be considered to determine the best options. consultation with nutritionist and doctors could be a very important part of any plan, but are critical if the root of the issue stems from ones genetic or physical health issues. Thirdly, a reasonable expectation of what is the desireable weight as well as reasonable steps in the plan. Unrealistic expectations/goals can be just as damaging as negative reinforcements...
----

I also wish to point out that some basic character strenghts are needed to achieve any goal... Persistence & Self-Control being two that come to mind. so to achieve the goal of weight lost... understand the reasons, develope the plan and be persistant and exercise self-control to achieve the goals. It is possible that one needs to improve the strengths of persistence and self-control to achieve ones desire goal.

KoM

i agree with what, KnightofMists said, along with what anopheles and EmeraldSlave2 :)

i think consulting a nutritionist is really important and can definitely be to everyone's benefit.. a nutritionist will give you a realistic game plan... and will not merely advise a "diet" but will help you with deciding how to make lifestyle changes to help with your weight issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: anopheles

It is my opinion that positive encouragement and reinforcement is the way to go. Unless you have a sub that is very, VERY into humiliation, using negative reinforcement is a serious danger to any relationship.
----

I would recommend asking your sub why he/she needs to lose weight. Do you want her to do it? Does he/she want to do it for themselves?

negative reinforcement seems... dangerous... i agree with that... unless, like anopheles said, your submissive is really into humiliation and stuff...

i think that's an important question... does your submissive actually want to lose weight? Or is it you that's pressuring them to lose weight? Weight issues can be really sensitive areas to "push" someone... and unless your submissive has really vocalized wanting your help in that area.. i think it could be detrimental to your relationship.

--
That said, i'm presently trying to lose weight myself... and i admit i rather wish i had a dominant (or even a good friend!) who would help me in this area! It's hard for me to self discipline all on my own... having a friend lose weight with me... or... having a dominant help me to better regulate my food and encourage me to exercise would help oodles.

< Message edited by ragdoll -- 8/23/2005 5:10:59 AM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 5

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 5:16:13 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I'd have mine watch and perform the exercises from the tape, "buns of steel", while I spanked her arse! How's that for motivation?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to ragdoll)

Post #: 6

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 5:19:56 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Visiting a nutritionist is very good advice.

I had a situation where after a bad turn with the Norplant birth control back in the early 90's... the side effect I had was extreme weight gain. I had it removed but I just could not drop the weight that I had gained. For about 4 yrs I struggled & tried many diets. Come to find out I was not taking in enough calories. The nutritionist pointed out that my metabolism was slow & that I was eating all the right foods, but just not enough. We made a few adjustments, such as fruits only in the morning & early in the day... soon I started dropping weight. I have found that when I go back into my normal pattern of only eating when hungry, the weight comes back.

Over-eating isn't the only cause of weight gain.

Definitely check with a nutritionists if you are someone who just isn't making any head way with weight loss.

MstrssPassion

(in reply to ragdoll)

Post #: 7

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 7:33:34 AM

sultryvoice

Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline

Referring to a nutritionist and/or doctor is a wise move..I gained 30 pounds a couple of years ago. It was the most I had ever weighed in my life, even pregnant! My doctor kept telling me to lose it and I tried all kinds of "diets" and such..Then it was suggested to me to use Weight Watchers. I lost that 30 lbs. It was slow but I have kept it off for a year now.. I would like to lose about 10 more but I haven't had the gumption to do so, lol, but I will in time..I also had a friend that lost 75 lbs. from just reducing portions. Excercise will help things move a bit faster.. Also be sure to not keep those snacky foods that will not be healthy for you in the house..Don't give reasons why you "earned" the crap foods. Substitute fruits, veggies, and above all water. Anyone wil tell you drinking 6 or more 8oz. glasses a day will help tremendously in the drop of weight. Just remember, none of these things are a quick fix. The quick loss never stays off..

Respectfully,
sultry

< Message edited by sultryvoice -- 8/23/2005 7:35:29 AM >

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.

www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 8

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 7:51:22 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I would consult a Doctor. My whole life has been a struggle with my weight. It turns out I have something called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrom, which even though it's named after your ovaries is actually something that effects your endocrine system. It frequently goes hand in hand with insulin resistance. So, my weight has very little to do with how much I eat and excercise, but has more to do with what I eat. Complex carbs are poison to me.

What most nutritionists would consider a healthy diet, would case me to gain weight.

There are a number of medical reasons that cause weight gain, so I thnk it's best to see if they are the culprit before becoming forever frustrated.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 8/23/2005 7:52:01 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sultryvoice)

Post #: 9

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 8:14:12 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
I May be a sub but I have a good testimony about weight loss to share.
I found BDSM in my life at a point I weighed 190 lbs. I had gained about 40lbs due to a surgery I'd had even though I was dieting and exercising.
When I started having sex daily I dropped 20lbs the first month and 20 more over the next two months. Outrageous sex an hour a day helped me lose weight when nothing else worked.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Marshalash)

Post #: 10

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 9:16:43 AM

Angrylibrarian

Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline

As an acolyte of William Gibson I prefer to use diet and excersize for health reasons not weight loss. Diet and excersize ought to be a lifestyle not a self image thing. Save your gym pennies for the cutter if you care more for the look then the effect.

I know, Its insane. Just think of it as a more elaborate piercing ritual and remember, Angrylibrarian is not a role model.

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 11

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 10:13:29 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Have any of the other Masters had much success getting your girl(s) to loose weight? I have heard all the damn "body awareness" arguments floating around, but sometimes you just have a girl who needs to shed some #'s for health reasons.

The only non-sexual BDSM lifestyle relationship I ever had involved a weight loss/physical training program. It was a long time ago. A very close friend of mine active in a lifestyle group I belonged to in NYC requested that I be her "trainer". I developed a work out and diet program. It involved weekly "weigh-ins", a documented set of goals, punishments, and required daily documentation of everything consumed. There were a few hick-ups during the program. One set back was when she called (this happened before the era of the Internet) to report she had consumed a pat of butter - A Forbidden Food.

I had her go out and go to the nearest convenience store and buy every stick of butter and margarine they had on the shelf, take them home get into the tub and rub them all over herself from the top of her head to the soles of her feet and then sleep in the tub. She couldn't wash until her morning alarm went off to go to work. (I guess now this would be considered phone or cyber domination.) She never was tempted to use butter for the duration. There were other stumbles, but we kept up the program. She needed the discipline and enforcement. At the end of the six months, she met her weight goal and last I saw her, kept it off.

It can be done. Like anything else it takes an effort. Enforcement is KEY! There must be consequences for failing to keep with the program and the consequences need to be "painful" enough to create a mental aversion to the forbidden act.

I also developed a lifestyle "stop smoking" program. I used the weight loss program as a guide, and using the 20 cigarettes in a pack, it has 20 steps, cumulative and each with more severe consequences than the previous. I did it with beth in mind. she smoked when we met and still does, but it wasn't something I required her to quit. she asked if I had any experience using the lifestyle as a tool for behavior modification and related the above story. So I wrote one out for her, and told her that when she was ready she could "sign-on" to the program; knowing that there would be no compromise or turning back. But so far she's not been ready. The program scares her, especially the 20th punishment - shaving her head.

(in reply to Marshalash)

Post #: 12

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 10:32:48 AM

luvdragonx

Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I had the Depo shot 9 years ago and have had trouble with losing weight since then. The only time I was able to drop weight (4 sizes) significantly was through starvation and purging, but I wasn't in a healthy state of mind then. I'm looking for a nutritionist as we speak.

_____________________________

Never Without Love

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 13

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 11:40:03 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Pet and I are both going on Weight Watchers after this weekend when we go grocery shopping. We'll have our keys to the Apt gym by then and will start our weight loss program. We have both subscribed to Mens/Womens health and have our accounts ready on the Weight Watchers web site.

Every point she ends up going over earns here a swat of my switch. Ever point I go over will take away from those swats. The total will be added and subtacted ever Saturday. Only the points that go over the max amount will be used. Points not earned in the event of being under what you could be will not be added into any part of the equation. 0 to 0 will begin a new every week when we start over again.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 8/23/2005 11:44:31 AM >

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Marshalash)

Post #: 14

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 1:01:33 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

My late master wanted me to lose weight because i wanted to so he was very supportitive of course i gain it all back and then some when he passed away. I am very hapy to say now i lost 8 lbs ans still losing

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 15

RE: Weight Loss - 8/23/2005 4:16:31 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

all I want to add is..take it slow...it didn't take a day to put it on...it won't come off in half a day...about 3-5 lbs a month..reasonable and safe..also at that rate it should remain off even when you reach the desired weight...

Fury

(in reply to Marshalash)

Post #: 16

RE: Weight Loss - 8/24/2005 3:28:22 AM

Marshalash

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline

Thank you all for the excellent responses to my post. I agree that a nutrionalist should be consulted in these matters. And i'm going to try to get her to loose a little bit at a time, maybe a few pounds a week. A lot has to do with life choices; i.e., how and when a person eats.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 17

RE: Weight Loss - 8/26/2005 9:12:16 PM

sweetsugargirl

Posts: 14
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

But please do not forget the why we eat in the equation. I was in a marriage that was very unsatisfying sexually and emotionally and for a time was involved with an online relationship that fulfilled areas of my life that had never been fulfilled. It was only during that time that I was able to lose any significant weight loss. I've kept most of it off, even after that relationship ended. I'm now looking for a new relationship to fulfill the areas of my life that need fulfilling and I am certain that when those are fulfilled once again, I will once again have the "want to" to lose weight again.

(in reply to Marshalash)

Post #: 18

RE: Weight Loss - 8/26/2005 10:15:59 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

For those who have mailed me about this and my silence, its simply I also have a weight loss business (I need the additional income to service all the pro bono work I do with attempted suicides) Its simply that It would be inappropriate for me to comment and bring commercialism into the forums

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to sweetsugargirl)

Post #: 19

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Weight Loss

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.107