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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

SlaveBlutarsky,

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Ugh, I hate begging.  When I am in subspace, I'm completely retarded and cannot verbalize well.  I hate being asked questions because I have a hard time answering them, even if they are easy.  Having to think of something to say and then translate that into begging is just horrid to me.

I think perhaps the negotiation and begging occurs before getting to subspace.  When in subspace, I don't get completely retarded, but I am very giggly and my judgment is impaired.  At various stages while getting to and from subspace, I've had partners flirt and negotiate with me.  I quite like verbalizing during this transitioning.  Some of the things that come out of my mouth are amusing indeed.  True enough, I'm rather vulnerable in this state, but that's a delicious part of baring my soul before my partner.  I particularly like it when my domme is exhausted and needs me to give her aftercare.  Heh.  Aftercare is not only for submissives. :-)

Elan.

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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
When in subspace, I don't get completely retarded, but I am very giggly and my judgment is impaired. 

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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued


In my opinion, it is mutual seduction that provides much of the empowerment.  Groveling and begging (which is the part I snipped out) is one such mechanism a submissive might use to flirt with and empower their dominant, but it is not the only mechanism.  Indeed, if used in a manipulative way, I would expect begging to fall flat on its face.  I don't believe that the dominant solely projects energy while the submissive solely absorbs energy.  My experiences have been quite to the contrary.  Often the submissive reflects back energy given by the domme and sometimes the submissive simply projects energy of their own.  In other words, both partners initiate, project, and absorb energy.


Elan.

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I wish it were that easy.  I start to get loopy at the mere hint of submission or a woman is dominant.  Even in negotiation and normal conversation with a Domme, I'm rarely able to verbalize properly or be myself.  It's a mixture of subspace and insecurity of letting them down or looking foolish I think.  Of course usually the Domme tries to make it easy on me by running their hand through my hair or lightly grabbing my throat, things that really allow me to settle down and relax.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

While it's not begging *per se*, I often recommend thats subs take an educational look at Elijah Wood in the Lord of the Rings movies. He has cornered the market on the *look* that tends to scream vulnerability. He also does this great thing with the way he breathes, where sometimes he sounds like he's holding back a whimper half the time.  I've never seen such a thing -- I could watch that silly hobbit all day long doing that look.

Akasha

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ElanSubdued:
When in subspace, I don't get completely retarded, but I am very giggly and my judgment is impaired.

ShaktiSamam:
I met a man like this once.  Unfortunately I didn't really understand the response, having never seen it before.  It was a bad time to be looking for facial expressions to know how much punishment to ditch out on a newbie sub.  He ended up looking like he'd been mauled by a lion the next day, but through the whole scene he was grinning like he'd just won a tour of the Wonka Chocolate Factory...

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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
*wonders if you have any more of the infamous, Wonka, golden tickets*

Elan.

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This is an extremely insightful point and one that I wish could be somehow really explained in a very concrete way so people could understand it.  It's probably the single biggest obstacle/hurdle to face once actually in a power exchange moment with someone.  Sometimes no matter how much lust or chemistry there is, it cannot be salvaged, because the submissive is not at all aware of his "energy" and/or does not care about it anyway.

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I had dominated (casually, mind you, I was very young) a handful of boyfriends by the time I met one guy who, for the first time, got into my head and soul and rattled me to the core, because he was absolutely intent on getting me to react to his submission - essentially, to react to his reactions.  He paid close attention, he read my body language and got into my head, and used to be so *proactive* even in the most helpless, vulnerable situations.  Sometimes it would become almost like a battle for power, because the more helpless I made him feel, the more he could turn it around and make me feel so *femdom woozy* (no better term to explain it).

When I dominate a man, in that moment, I have a need.  The pure actions of doing the "acts" does not satisfy that need. It's far deeper than that.  And it varies.  It might be that I need to feel he is authentically vulnerable.  It might be that I need to feel sadistic to the point of sweet guilt about it.  It might be that I need to be aroused by him responding very sensually to helplessness.  It might be that I need to be pushed to face my own limits/fears about what I am capable of, or what *turns me on* (this can be a huge and lovely mindfuck and I've only gotten to that place a few times in my life).  A really intuitive man can just get into my head and turn me inside out -- all while being totally helpless, and often, terrified.  To me, nothing is hotter.

And you look at all that above, what I wrote, and there's no way a "worthless worm" or a man with no self respect could accomplish this; yet, a man who is *whimpering* could.  That's the beauty of the paradox.