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Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 10:48:42 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

How old is your pic? (if you are using your own and not an avatar, I mean)
If you are trying to meet people as more than just friends, do you feel a moral obligation to have up-to-date pictures or do you use an older pic and hope the potential partner won't notice?
Have you ever met someone on this site (or a similar one) and realized you had no idea who you'd been conversing with because they mis-represented themselves? (by using an old picture or even a pic of someone else)
What would you do if you met someone, reallly liked their personality, but, was not at all attracted to them (even though you had been attracted to the pic they posted?)

I bet this happens a lot. I'm wondering how often, and what happens when someone does this.

~Christina

Post #: 1

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 10:54:30 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

My avatar is a couple of years old, but my primary profile picture was taken in September or October.

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 2

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 10:57:47 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

my main pic was also from october (or maybe sepetember); though most of my other pics are at least a year old from the night i met Ma'am or the first couple of months we were together

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Post #: 3

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 10:58:09 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

All of my pictures have been taken within the past two months. It's important to accurately represent yourself if you choose to post a picture.

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Post #: 4

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 10:58:46 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

actually my picture is about 3 years old, I am more bald (if you can believe it.LOLOLOLOL, and whats left is a little greyer, and goddammit!!!! I just weighed myself last night and am 10 pounds heavier, and I wear my glasses about all the time now, but there is not a vast difference between me and the picture....not that I am getting any action that would require any sort of meetings anyhow...and nigerians dont seem to care much, after falling in love with my profile and me after not reading it.

Ron

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Post #: 5

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:01:33 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Well, for one, this isn't strictly a BDSM Q but hey. Trying to be helpful here and hopefully you will take it as is given, but I would suggest you read the TOS of the site blushes.
As for the OP - We change our photographs all the time. None are more than a few months old. As for 'Moral obligation'? Ummm .no. what has morality to do with a photograph? As for old photographs, I don't see a problem with someone using one that is a few years old.

the.dark.

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Post #: 6

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:04:40 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

October, I think.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 7

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:09:45 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

I generally try to present as *less* attractive in a profile photo, which means using mostly out of date shots from before I took up a serious health and fitness lifestyle. I'm here primarily for friendship and socializing, and the absolute last thing I want is to increase the number of crude proposals in my email from people who just look at the photo and ignore the profile.

Any date, mate or play partner I might find through a site like this would have to be interested in me first as a friend and mainly for what I have written in the profile. Men who are only seeking sex, submission or play partners are not of any interest to me and I would prefer to avoid them. The only people I'm truly interested in talking to on any level are the ones who read my profile and think, "Wow, we have a lot in common, we could be friends even if we might not have any romantic or sexual chemistry." That's always a win-win scenario for me, because if there is still no chemistry when we actually meet, I can make a friend. If there is chemistry, AFTER it's been established that he would value my friendship regardless, that's even better.

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 1/3/2008 11:11:17 AM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 8

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:10:17 AM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

i try to take new pictures every year, and either add them along with the older pictures, or replace the older with the newer ones. i cannot personally see trying to pass off old pictures of myself. Deceit is generally found out eventually. i would rather get the whole looks thing out of the way immediately, if they are not into my "type", no harm done, they realize right away that they have no interest in speaking with me.

On the flip side, i have gone to meet someone for coffee, and walked right by them because they looked so different from their picture it was ridiculous. Granted most people try to choose the most flattering pictures of themselves possible, but if you are posting a picture of you taken 20+ years ago?!?!?! Being honest is far more appealing than pretending to be something you are not.

Sometimes the mental attraction can help create a certain amount of chemistry, but i suppose there are limits to that.

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 9

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:13:32 AM

misscupcake

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

The photos I have of me with blonde highlights are like, 6 months old (from when i first got my account) but.. the highlights are gone now. I just put up 3-4 new ones that show my brown hair (taken less than 2 weeks ago).. but, clearly my face is the same! To be honest, I would change the main pics, but it takes a few days to switch it all... and, well... im IMPATIENT! (shocking right?)

And, I have met someone whos photo was a complete misrepresentation... His photo was from like 10 years ago (hes only early 30's now) and he is clearly super built/muscley... i knew the photo was old, but, I wasnt expecting him to be much thinner with glasses... lol. Still a FINE ass man... but, not the point :-)

I think it's important to be proud of who you are NOW... not when you were 10 lbs lighter, or had different glasses, or.. whatever the case may be. People appreciate and respect honesty... Why get started on the wrong foot because of your personal insecurities?

xoxo

cupcake

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 10

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:15:57 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

Avatar pic about two weeks old. Tattoo pics were taken when got tattoo all within 1.5 years. the other pics are under 3 yrs old. I dont own a camera just a web cam so i cant take that great of pics without using someone else cam which is a rare thing.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 11

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:24:03 AM

daddysblondie

Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline

My current picture is about a year old, but I also point that out, along with what is different now in my profile. Mostly, the pic is of me with long hair that I don't have anymore, everything else is the same.

I have met people in real life after seeing a "not so recent" picture of themselves a few times and it threw me off each time. I'm not sure I view it as a "moral obligation" but I do think it is relatively important. Like someone else said, the truth eventually comes out and I would hate to have someone show up expecting one thing and then find something different.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 12

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:25:39 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

about 1.5 years old, but I look basically the same, though my hair is longer now (no idea how long I will grow it)

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Post #: 13

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:36:43 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

My photos were taken between six month and a year ago. Compared to photos five years ago, there's not been a whole lot of change.

Stephan

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Post #: 14

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 11:47:06 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

We like our main profile picture too much to change it, however we assign a date to it in our narrative.

We change the other profile pictures regularly. I think the last one was added in October after Folsom. We have a variety posted. There is even a picture of beth and 'Cum'.

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 15

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 12:00:26 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings christina,

my pictures are from late october 2007. i generally have no problem exchanging further pictures once i get to know someone, so i don't worry about misrepresenting myself. at the same time, i don't feel i owe anyone anything, so no, i don't feel i have a moral obligation.

most of the people i know on cm in real life don't have pics up at all here, but in general, i haven't noticed a big issue with people not having "up to date" pictures. then again, i don't equate the picture with the person with whom i am conversing, in the sense that i wouldn't feel overwhelmingly betrayed if i'd gotten to know someone and knew their age, interests, outlook on life, etc. and found out their picture was actually taken on their vacation to france two years ago. it just isn't that big a deal to me.

if i met someone and liked their personality but wasn't attracted to them, we'd be friends. then again, physical attributes have very little to do with sexual or emotional attraction for me...it's more of a gut thing. i either am attracted or i'm not. if i'm not, the likelihood of things going anywhere romantic, bdsm, or sexual is kind of small, but that generally doesn't mean the person is ugly or unattractive...just means i'm weird :P and no one is so rich as to turn away a friend.

respectfully,
annabelle.

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 16

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 12:06:32 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

My pic is only about a year out of date. I try and update as regularly as possible, depending on whether I have decided to seriously alter my appearance for some reason (at the moment, I'm trying to grow a beard just to see how it might look) and whether I have a digital camera handy (I do, but it's kind of fussy about lighting, so most of my pics come out too dark and blurry to make sense of the image)

(post script) As to feeling as though a person has mis-represented themselves to me, that has not been a problem thus far. I like to take a while to get to know people, and usually the folks hiding behind an old or fake photo get weeded out long before I get around to suggesting we meet face to face - which is typically a year or more after I've met them.

< Message edited by Suleiman -- 1/3/2008 12:10:53 PM >

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Post #: 17

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 12:42:09 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

How old is your pic? (if you are using your own and not an avatar, I mean)
If you are trying to meet people as more than just friends, do you feel a moral obligation to have up-to-date pictures or do you use an older pic and hope the potential partner won't notice?
Have you ever met someone on this site (or a similar one) and realized you had no idea who you'd been conversing with because they mis-represented themselves? (by using an old picture or even a pic of someone else)
What would you do if you met someone, reallly liked their personality, but, was not at all attracted to them (even though you had been attracted to the pic they posted?)

I bet this happens a lot. I'm wondering how often, and what happens when someone does this.

~Christina

Great topic Christina and it gave me the carte blanche to perv every responding profile! LOL! And the pictures were awesome!

my pictures are from Dec 26th 07. about as fresh as you can get! The other 2 are from my birthday on Sept. 07 at Burningman. Still pretty new however, upon my return from that trip, i had to shave my hair to 1/8"...so talk about a different look. And i didn't feel comfortable with my long hair pictures when i was sporting my snead oconner look so i eventually took down my picture right before the holiday and waited til i took the current one -

i can't speak for anyone else but i feel that posting my picture does make me responsible for being up to date with it. Otherwise, why post a picture at all? i totally relate to those that discriminately send their photos to interested parties but to post a fake or outdated or falsley representative photo is sad really, very sad ~

i have met someone on here whose picture was a 20+ yr older picture than he was and he listed an age that was 23 years younger than his actual age. It was not his only deceit...he is married as well. Oh well! Last i looked, his profile is still a misrepresentation~

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 18

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 1:13:52 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

A timely question, for me-

I usally update my photos every January, including shooting a few new, just to make sure they are up to date. I'd drop any that I thought were misrepresentational, just cause I am good like that<g>. I don't have to drop many, as other than 10-15 lbs (seasonally) and my tan waxxing and waning (also seasonallly), and minor variations in facial hair (utterly random), I look much the same.

I am lately just about at a stand still for inspiration, though.

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Post #: 19

RE: Speaking of pictures... - 1/3/2008 1:34:08 PM

burningdesires47

Posts: 120
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

let's see... I'm about 20lbs heavier than I was 6 years ago, and wear the same clothes. I'm about 40lbs lighter than I was 2 years ago, and SURPRISE wear the same clothes. The difference of 70lbs was almost completely unnoticeable to people who knew me well, and to people who hadn't seen me in a while, the 20lbs heavier makes them think I've LOST weight!

I changed a lot of my pics 3 years ago when I cut my hair real short, but I didn't have a lot of pics up anywhere at that point anyway. I've gotten a lot more camera-happy since then, esp since I lost 50lbs right after that too.

I will eventually have to post more pics, since I'm growing my hair out again, but even with my weight fluctuating in a 70-lb range over 6 years, I'm still the same body type--curvey. And I don't think that it's really important to post new pics--if I look exactly the same in the same outfit as I did 6 years ago, why does it matter that the pic is 6 years old? If there's a significant change, then fine. I only care about the short vs long hair pics because it's important to some people, and because it's the most significant change I've made.

Not that it matters what clothes I wear int he pics since the one here I have I was naked in, and I mostly have face shots anyway.

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 20

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