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Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 8:21:48 PM

berrysurprise

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Is it possible to love your Master/Dom without falling in love with them?

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 8:28:52 PM

AquaticSub

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I dunno. I never wanted there to be difference. I love and am in love with my owner. I suspect someone is out there doing it though.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/3/2008 8:29:18 PM >

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 8:41:03 PM

LaMspeach

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From: Philadelphia area, PA
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I dont know, I think I fell in love at first chat and it just keeps growing stronger and stronger.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 8:42:54 PM

catize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise
Is it possible to love your Master/Dom without falling in love with them?

Some people draw a distinctive line between “I love what we do” vs “I love you.”
Some people are able to blend the two.

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 8:44:02 PM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
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Sure, anything is possible in this world. I wouldn't want to do it personally, though. My level of submission is directly based on the love I have for my dominant. I love and am completely head over heels in love with Mistress, so I wouldn't have it any other way. To me, it makes my relationship complete. She's my everything. First off, She's my owner before anything else, but She's also my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my hang-out buddy, the person I can get goofy and silly with, and the person I can lean on if I ever have a problem. I prefer to have everything I look for in a person wrapped up in one pretty, gothic package!

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 9:02:21 PM

trusting

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From: Virginia
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i had this issue myself one time... my love i had for this person got infront of my serving him.
it seemed that i was doing well in service until my feelings grew imensely for him over a few months. i have to say that i regret things not working out simply because i could not love and serve at the same time.

after one is with someone over a period of time and they already had feelings to begin with, i think it would be almost impossible for those feeling to not grow.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 9:42:13 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 9:42:22 PM

hisannabelle

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From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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greetings berrysurprise,

yes, it is (just as it's possible to love your best friend without falling in love with them, or a teacher, or anyone else). some people believe being in love and serving shouldn't coincide. some people believe that one can't exist without the other. personally, i prefer to be in love with the person i'm serving (and my master and i are very much in love), but i think it's possible to serve someone without being in love with them, and to still care about them deeply.

respectfully,
annabelle.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 10:50:26 PM

takenbyjohnr07

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Beautifully said. i feel exactly the same about my Owner.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/3/2008 11:48:36 PM

berrysurprise

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Thank you all so much for your responses... i think i found my answer...

i guess to be totally honest. my sub side (the emotional part) has always been in love from the very beginning... I don't think i would have been able to do the things i have without it being that way... However, The other part of me is growing stronger and stronger the more i get to learn about myself, maybe with the things i have been taught. That side is not in love... this part of me sees things as they really are and wants to always step very carefully to protect the sub inside of me.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 2:41:49 AM

Einzelganger

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From: Orlando, FL
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There are two people outside my family I can honestly say I love; one of them I had fallen in love with, the other not...but I love them as one would love a close friend or family member. These two people are the only ones I feel can talk to about D/s matters in person, truly be myself around, cuddle with (which I honestly believe is better than sex half the time, but I may be a bit looney), etc. *smiles* So, while neither of them is or has ever been my Mistress, I primarily meant to point out the distinction (in my humble opinion) between loving someone and falling in love with them.

I personally don't know if I could love my Mistress (whomever that may be) without falling head over heels for her, but I have done that with these two women...so I should like to think that it's possible for some to do with their owner. I suppose the reason I can't pull it off is that I'm a bit of a romantic. Just my two cents of course. *smiles*

-Einzelgänger

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 8:08:17 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

Is it possible to love your Master/Dom without falling in love with them?

Yes....it is possible

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 9:37:05 AM

littleone35

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It is very possible i love all my friends i an no IN LOVE with them. The one i am completly head over heels in love with is my wonderful Master.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 10:49:17 AM

meticulousgirl

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Ditto:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach

I dont know, I think I fell in love at first chat and it just keeps growing stronger and stronger.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 12:17:16 PM

littlebitxxx

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I think there is. I call it "Master Love".....similar but different. The way that love for your spouse differs from that for your best friend, the love for your ums differ between them, that kind of thing. One is not better nor stronger than another, just different.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 7:27:04 PM

petpete

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Dear berry.. Its a very sensitive subject you have chosen to get into. Personally i never thought that love can have anything to do with the lifestyle itself, up until i have managed to converse with some members and reading posts of people's experiences.... To my perception i never knew and never imagined a relationship of any type with the Dominant part from a submissives point of view. The way i am beginning to see how things appear to be it confuses me even further....

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 7:27:51 PM

DesFIP

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I couldn't but others can. I'm not sure it's possible if you live together though. It's a lot easier to do if you both have primary non D/s partners who are fulfilling your love needs.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/4/2008 10:18:40 PM

scspanker

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Dear Berry,
A very interesting question and I have enjoyed reading the responses. I think it is worth noting that there are many different kinds of love and none of them are easy to define. I think sometimes it is more important to look at yourself and your own situation and ask whether or not you are happy.

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/5/2008 12:42:00 AM

petpete

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Now aren't you a little bit selfish scs??? You forget that us subs can fall easier then the powerful and Almighty D's do??!! Lets face it guys its not our choice of what happens to us... Its our stupid hearts that fall, pardon me, is there a cone of silence here??

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Max: And loving it!

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RE: Love vs D/s - 1/5/2008 2:50:23 AM

eyesopened

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The English language has only one word "love" that can mean many things. Other languages have different words for the different forms of love and some languages have no word for "love" at all. i have felt an honest, genuine, deep affection for every Dominant i have served. i could have easily told myself i was in love but i knew at my core i was not "in love". Sometimes even some peer pressure from the bdsm community made me feel like i was supposed to be "in love" but pffft... i wasn't in love with them, why feel guilty about that? Yes, one can serve with loyalty, joy, and gusto without being in love.

Sometimes D/s is an expression of love already felt, sometimes love is a result of D/s expression. Sometimes is just about having a really great friend with whom you can enjoy various activities. Then sometimes, often unexpectantly, you meet that someone with whom that tiny part of universe shifts into the place its supposed to be.

For me, it never made sense to wait for that "special occassion" to use the good china or wear that special dress, or to hold back from enjoying a variety of experiences until 'the right time' or until i met The One. ymmv

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