RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:03:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Until he figures out WHY he feels it's wrong, he won't be able to get past it. Nothing you or anyone else says will change him. He's got to look inside and figure it out.

Master Fire



Agreed.  I don't think it has anything to do with her.  It has to do with him and his struggle with this side of himself.  Being with someone he cares about has just brought it to light in a greater sense.  Like many of us, he has to learn to accept him, not her.  Maybe you should start a thread asking about how people have struggled with accepting themselves (although there's probably a ton of them already) and point it out to him.  It's possible this "pain slut" is into a greater degree of kink than he will ever be comfortable with.



batshalom -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:12:58 PM)

Maybe it's just because he's new to it and it goes against everything polite society taught him to this point. I agree, though, that it may be more than he's cut out for. Then again, it may just be an adjustment that will take some time.



mnottertail -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:18:05 PM)

See, I dont buy this, Ghita has stated that this guy doesnt have any problem about kicking the fucking dogshit outta any other girl at the club, just her when it is up close and personal, (she is still a cunt ain't she? loved or not?).......and she wants attention.

I don't see how it is more complex than that. Hey, color me fucking stupid.

Really
Ron



laurell3 -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:29:48 PM)

I don't know that is so unusual Ron.  If someone on the internet criticises you versus someone you know and respect in real life doesn't it change the amount of introspection you give into what they have said about you? 



MsBearlee -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:30:14 PM)

I always heard that called 'The Sickfuck Syndrome'. 
 
You might suggest to watch how submissives and slaves and bottoms all show off their welts and bruises and places where the skin broke and bled a bit...and then ask himself if giving such joy to another person is really so sick.
 
Heh heh heh



LadySeraphina -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:37:50 PM)

Perhaps try having him read the New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton. I finally got off my tuckas and read it, and I found it gave delightful insight on the 'other side'. I'm a sadist, and as long as my boys and girls are enjoying themselves, I'm happy, but it was nice to be reminded of their perspective, and the highs they can experience. Perhaps it will hep him. (Might want to toss New Topping into the mix as well).

-Lady Seraphina



Prinsexx -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:38:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

So, say you're this total (well, mostly) vanilla person ......

Dear ghita
I couldn't get past that bit without having to go into googoolaalaaland........

BUT i certainly know the difference between abuse and masochism.....the former I despised and the latter i desire......the difference between what i despise and desire???
The difference is that the former is given without control (on behalf of the abuser) and the latter is given with control on behalf of Master...and thus the latter exerts that control over me or passes that control onto me (the slave).
I instinctively feel the pain but intuitiveky feel the degree of control He is exerting within himself....and i am grateful for it.



mnottertail -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 5:49:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I don't know that is so unusual Ron.  If someone on the internet criticises you versus someone you know and respect in real life doesn't it change the amount of introspection you give into what they have said about you? 


laurell3, nope--but I ain't your average motherfucker.  Look, we could argue and explain and prophesy all over why women want to taste the fucking whip, (I certainly don't know, but when I do it they are pretty happy to suck my dick) and I learned  very young (in my yout) that if you give a woman what she wants, she will give you arpage. intuition, insight, growing, feeling, whatever not withstanding, it comes to this:  women..........oh, you will whip her ass but not mine cause you love me?  (they want attention:  who said any press is good press?) and men say, loook, you will suck any dick but mine?  and they take something different away from that.

I don't know how to say what  I feel here( typical man) but I hope you understand I will kick the living fuck out of you, you come to my door.

Ron



velvetears -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/4/2008 8:55:28 PM)

FR

i have an idea. Since she has seen him play and hurt others like she'd like to be hurt then turn the tables. Let him watch her play and get hurt the way she wants to, and see how well she responds to it, maybe this will give him a change of heart?



SailingBum -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 12:02:31 AM)

I enjoy inflicting pain on my girl it's that simple.  I did not read any books, nor do I care to.  I really get off on her taking the pain for me weather she likes it or not.  Some ppl might call that abuse others may not.  It makes no difference to me.  I am sure a shrink would have a field day with me.

BadOne

It's a sick world and I'm a happy man.



SwitchableJJ -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 1:03:21 AM)

Playing with others doesnt need emotional attachment. (Although it helps!) Being able to do something doesnt mean he wants to... maybe he just doesnt feel a need to play with her in that way.

JJ



MissMagnolia -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 1:05:21 AM)

I'm not into inflicting pain on those I actually have an emotional attachement to. I can beat the shit of of you if I don't care. Maybe he's like me.



Prinsexx -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 7:20:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySeraphina

Perhaps try having him read the New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton. I finally got off my tuckas and read it, and I found it gave delightful insight on the 'other side'. I'm a sadist, and as long as my boys and girls are enjoying themselves, I'm happy, but it was nice to be reminded of their perspective, and the highs they can experience. Perhaps it will hep him. (Might want to toss New Topping into the mix as well).

-Lady Seraphina

I agree: read both Bottoming and Topping books helps toget to know both sides or try switching (for once)
And I had to pull my skirt up and show a vamilla girl friend the wheal marks (well I just had to) to truly help her understand how I consented and just to take the look of disbelief off her face.....(she said I have a wonderful bottom, things are looking up :))



Prinsexx -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 7:21:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I enjoy inflicting pain on my girl it's that simple.  I did not read any books, nor do I care to.  I really get off on her taking the pain for me weather she likes it or not.  Some ppl might call that abuse others may not.  It makes no difference to me.  I am sure a shrink would have a field day with me.

BadOne

It's a sick world and I'm a happy man.

where's the field? how long does it take to get there from here???



Leatherist -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 7:22:09 AM)

I got over it by seeing how wet asses I beat got. It's really not an issue these days-anyone who bottoms to me has sense enough to tell me when it's going too far.or they wouldn't be under my hand to begin with.



batshalom -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 7:23:08 AM)

That's a really good idea, velvet.



SailingBum -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 7:29:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I enjoy inflicting pain on my girl it's that simple.  I did not read any books, nor do I care to.  I really get off on her taking the pain for me weather she likes it or not.  Some ppl might call that abuse others may not.  It makes no difference to me.  I am sure a shrink would have a field day with me.

BadOne

It's a sick world and I'm a happy man.

where's the field? how long does it take to get there from here???



ehhh im thinking somewhere in the neighborhood of a football field



MsBearlee -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 7:37:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

i have an idea. Since she has seen him play and hurt others like she'd like to be hurt then turn the tables. Let him watch her play and get hurt the way she wants to, and see how well she responds to it, maybe this will give him a change of heart? 


I tried that once... Unfortunately he just thought it was I who was the sickfuck.
 
LOL   Okay, he was a newbie who didn't really like to hurt anybody more than just a little slap and tickle.  Apparently, a little blood scared him.
 
B



ghitaPVH -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 10:45:43 AM)

Thank you all for your comments...some of them are very helpful for both me and him...

Cause for those of you who didnt realize (yes, some of you did, thanks for noticing)....person mentioned in OP is my Sir.



batshalom -> RE: getting past that "omg this is abuse" feeling (1/5/2008 4:19:05 PM)

Awwww, ghita! I hope this works out well for both of you, or is at least compromisable so that you are both basically satisfied with the outcome.



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