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ElanSubdued -> RE: Submissive Scavenger Hunt (1/5/2008 1:17:08 PM)
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Akasha,
Initially, I didn't take this thread seriously (because of the somewhat lighthearted nature of the OP). However, as more responses have amassed, the flavor has become more serious. So yes, I've decided to reply in a serous way.
I think the premise and notions are seriously flawed here:
With online submissives so eager to get "collared," maybe femdoms could have a fun competition. The goal would be to see who could be the first to collar 5 male subs... (snip) The first femdom to "collar" all 5 subs who meet the criteria gets a prize. (snip) I should say, it would be funny if it were not so plausible, thus, so sad.[/quote]
Pardon me for my bluntness here, but there is a big difference between those looking for a quick fix (which come in both female and male varieties) and those looking for lasting, long-term friendships and relationships. No matter how much a domme came onto me, she'd not catch my attention (let alone collar me) unless I felt we addressed each other's needs and there was mutual cerebral and physical attraction. Generally, for me, it takes time to unwrap a person's personality and thus it is a while before my mind even remotely shifts to wondering if there is any romantic/collaring potential. Sometimes I've experienced instant sexual attraction (pheromones are such lovely, unpredictable things), but I've long since learned that this isn't a good indicator of long-term compatibility. Lust helps wet the mind and appetite, for sure. When it comes to building a foundation though, lust isn't enough (and can often be misleading).
Were a domme I know to coral me for a contest, sure, I'd probably help her out and smile while doing so. The same would not be true for a stranger. Were a stranger (domme or otherwise) to attempt collaring me like a piece of beef, it's likely my reaction would be WTF? followed by a swift, disgruntled departure.
I strongly object to the stereotype that submissive men are drooling dogs waiting only for the next lap of any dominant who happens by. There are, of course, many people like this (both male and female). In terms of the number of women accosted by unwanted advances and/or able to coral men with a snap of their fingers, I'd be surprised if the numbers are any different for the femdom/malesub demographic than they are for the larger, hetero-vanilla pool. This is a societal thing that our cultural norms programs. Men are regarded as pursuers and generally fall into that role (as rabid as they may sometimes be). Likewise, women, as far as mating is concerned, are generally regarded as decision makers - they ultimately decide whether any romance or mating occurs. Sure, men decide too, but it is women who frequently make the decision after a man has expressed interest. Contrary to all of this however, as a submissive man, I've certainly been pursued, in unwanted ways, by rabid, dominant women. When this happens, my reaction is as unhappy as your own (or any domme's) might be in a reciprocal situation.
If I've overreacted to your thread, please accept my apologies. I'll readily admit, this topic hit me the wrong way and triggered me somewhat.
Elan.
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