is forced fem inherently offensive to women?

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is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 11:15:40 AM

jvandelae

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Seems like its harder to find a Domme who enjoys forced fem than lots of other forms of play with a sub. Do you think its because the implication is that if its humiliating for the man, then it suggests its undesirable to be feminine? Is there another way to present or discuss the desire that would get past that problem? Seems like a lot of male subs like the idea, but few female Dommes are interested.

I think the forcing part of the fantasy is just power exchange and eliminating guilt about the guy liking the feminine experience.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 4:57:31 PM

subboi3382

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i always thought it was, but none of the women I have talked to about it seem to think so

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 5:01:39 PM

lockmeupplease

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In a similar post earlier, many Dommes commented that if the sub wants and enjoys Forced Femme, then it's not really forced. That was the problem for many.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 5:05:13 PM

LadyLynx

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I think the objection some ladies have to it is: is that it can imply that there is something wrong, forbidden to be like a woman. For me personally, I can take or leave it. Depending on how much my sub likes it, I can work with it. (though not if he wanted to live fulltime as a woman.) Though if that is his only interest, then I am not going to be interested.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 5:17:43 PM

Badpunzel

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I personally feel that if a man finds eroticism in dressing like someone of my gender on occasion, no problem. I can get behind that.

But if a man can only find the eroticism from the humiliation he feels while engendering himself in the act, that is what I find problematic.

Can anyone who enjoys feminization enlighten me? Maybe point out something I may be missing?

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 5:25:17 PM

Shawn1066

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jvandelae

Seems like its harder to find a Domme who enjoys forced fem than lots of other forms of play with a sub. Do you think its because the implication is that if its humiliating for the man, then it suggests its undesirable to be feminine? Is there another way to present or discuss the desire that would get past that problem? Seems like a lot of male subs like the idea, but few female Dommes are interested.

I think the forcing part of the fantasy is just power exchange and eliminating guilt about the guy liking the feminine experience.

When my Owner do stuff along the forced fem lines of things, it's never forced. There isn't even an illusion of it being forced at all. She simply lets me explore my feminine side by letting me be her girl, so to speak, and we both find it very interesting. The way we do it, at least, we don't imply that femininity if inferior in any way at all. I don't find it humiliating, degrading, or even damaging towards my masculinity. It's simply and exploration and a manifestation of a part of myself. My masculine side is submissive, ergo my feminine side is as well.

I can see how women would find the way some submissives dress in an overly-stereotypical manner to be a tad offensive... Personally, I only actually dress the part about 5% of the time and even then I'd hate to overdo it. The clothes aren't important...or even necessary...the mindset is.

Do I personally see aspects of forced fem that could be offensive to women? Of course, I've already mentioned a few.

Do I think it's inherently offensive? No. It just depends on how you do it, I suppose. I don't see the way my Owner and I do it to be offensive, and she obviously doesn't either. Of course, our excursions aren't exactly of the "forced" variety either...so maybe that changes things.

Just my two cents, in any event.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 5:38:19 PM

BitchGoddessD

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Men in women's clothes is just not very stimulating to me. Especially forced fem for reasons already posted. I prefer to be the one in the hot sexy fabulous women's clothing.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 5:49:05 PM

Tantriqu

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Yes, tv is absolutely offensive: it mocks the Feminine.
If men feel humiliated by being 'forced' to act and dress like a woman, not only are they not submissive to Women, they actually feel dominant. They're just switches, and therefore not safe.

It's a vanilla fetish, i.e., much more for the pleasure of the man, so it's pros for pay that will tolerate it. power 'exchange' is also a vanilla fantasy, where a guy thinks he can just hand over the reins for however long his money and scene last. If it's actually Domme/sub, there's no 'exchange', it just is.

I need My men manly. I like buying them silk uniforms [they get erect even at the thought of dressing as I desire], but always boxers, and not one has ever requested otherwise.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 7:25:01 PM

aidan

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Inherently, no, but I think the way a lot of men imagine it and fantasize about it is.

Most forced-fem fantasies seem to revolve around humiliation based in degredation, where the sub is made to look like this twisted, really ugly thing, and they're "weak" and "pathetic" because of this treatment. Yeah, that sounds kind of insulting to me. There's some negative psychology working underneath all that.

Now, forced-fem that's about accentuating the feminine side of a person, and playing with that, that's a different matter. It's not my biggest cup of tea, but I do enjoy a little feminization play. I like wearing panties sometimes, gender-bending roleplay can be fun. Full fem wear I probably wouldn't do though, because a) I don't feel that's really me, and b) I don't even think I'd pull it off well.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 8:02:46 PM

Leatherist

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The humiliation aspect comes from the taboo sterotype that challenges the supremacy of "the macho man". There is nothing wrong with being a female. Wanting to walk away from your manhood is still seen as weakness in a society that is very far from sexually enlightened or liberated.

In fact, it is viewed as an illness. The chains are heavy.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 8:11:58 PM

CdnExplorer

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On one hand yeah, I see how the forced fem thing is degrading to women. But to be fair I have to say that feminization is really not my thing at all. On the other hand, being a submissive male is rather taboo in vanilla society. The illusion of being "forced" makes it easier for some to play out their fantasies, allows them to let go of the taboo. There are probably many cases where the humiliation of it isn't actually about the femininity, but in taking off the mask and exposing the identity that lies underneath. If the kink didn't involve gender bending none of us would bat an eye at it.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 8:19:34 PM

laurell3

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It's not something I have any interest in personally, however as humiliation play (assuming they find it humiliating) I would do it. My personal preference has nothing to do with it being degrading to women. I don't believe it is making any comment about feminity any more than I believe spanking is true abuse.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 8:51:12 PM

AquaticSub

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~Fast Reply~

I personally have no problem with the fact that some men feel humilation about being dressed as women and get off on that humilation. The things that humilate people vary from person to person and vary from situation to situation. Some people get humilated by having to beg, others don't.

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RE: is forced fem inherently offensive to women? - 1/5/2008 8:58:07 PM

boytoy4u2spank

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i personally believe that those of us who desire "forced"; feminization, oral service, anal rape, domestic service, etc may have complex motivations. The most obvious motivation is the need to be "forced" to do something taboo which we actually want to do. But there are several other possible motivations. A submissive can demonstrate his devotion to his Lady by submitting to humiliating situations and service. Another motivation is our inherent need to be "desireable" or needed., although this does not really fit the "forced" fem discussion but it does fit other "forced" fantasies e.g., rape.

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