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Honesty and Integrity - 8/23/2005 7:38:45 PM   
StrongEagle


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		Without either there is no relationship!


Yes, I do feel better!!!!!!

_____________________________

When ya quit learning ya die!!
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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/23/2005 9:18:13 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongEagle

Without either there is no relationship!


Yes, I do feel better!!!!!!


Well, sure there is. There are plenty of people out there in dysfunctional relationships where honesty and integrity aren't even on the radar. Plenty of them are even in D/s relationships despite all of the back-patting we like to do about how honouralbe everyone in the lifestyle is.

(in reply to StrongEagle)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/23/2005 9:19:06 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well there is a relationship, just depends on the individuals involved.

Personally I prefer to surround myself with people who have a great amount of integrity.

However, what was the point of the post? Just a rant?

(in reply to StrongEagle)
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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/23/2005 9:55:23 PM   
StrongEagle


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

However, what was the point of the post? Just a rant?


Yup!

_____________________________

When ya quit learning ya die!!

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/23/2005 10:23:08 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		But a good rant

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to StrongEagle)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/23/2005 11:52:49 PM   
mossy


Posts: 189
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		Lately....i have shown more Honor and Integrity then i ever have in my entire Life.
In this relationship: The one with myself!
It feels strange, different, new, good/but not always liking what i see/about me.
Don't think some in my Life really like it all that much, me looking out for myself.
This is excellent timing, my son is grown, about to find/choose new Master (hope)
(coming into my own) Finding "MY honor and integrity". <and keeping healthy
boundaries...steady as she goes >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>forward


_____________________________

~~inner peace & mental clarity~~

(in reply to StrongEagle)
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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 5:54:26 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
Honesty and integrity were not been identified as Virtues by the Greeks and Catholic philosphers who many feel laid a foundation for some of the tenets of T/their religion/code of ethics. However, strangely, i value these qualities most highly, together with kindness, as i suspect others do.

http://deadlysins.com/virtues.html

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/24/2005 5:55:15 AM >

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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 6:10:21 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
This is a fun site to examine Y/your ethical stances.

http://www.cariboo.bc.ca/ae/php/phil/mclaughl/courses/ethics/bioeth/dilemmas.htm

pinkpleasures

_____________________________



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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 8:34:53 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I agree. I don't think you can base much of anything on a foundation of lies and deceit.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to StrongEagle)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 10:15:43 AM   
Veav


Posts: 150
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know, we managed to start a nice little war that w- *muffled yelp, sounds of struggle, gunshot*

*clears throat* Nothing to see here, carry on.

_____________________________

Yes, I am Gordon Freeman. Accept this, and move on with your life.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 11:23:58 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		LOL. Point. Set. Match. You win.
But seriously, when I say you can't base much off of lies and deceit, I meant anything positive and beneficial to both parties. And I meant relationships. I guess I deserve a good firm beating for assuming. Ah well, we all know what Police Academy says about the word assume...

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Veav)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 11:26:42 AM   
Veav


Posts: 150
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		It makes an ass out of you and some guy named Ming?

_____________________________

Yes, I am Gordon Freeman. Accept this, and move on with your life.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 11:47:22 AM   
thelight


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:



"...because sometimes the things we call freedom enslave us..."

(in reply to StrongEagle)
Report | Post #: 9
thanks for the link, pink. interesting questions.

_____________________________

thelight is forbidden to shine

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 2:27:49 PM   
TearCollector


Posts: 108
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		I have only recently introduced myself to these boards. I want to be cautious not to give the wrong impression out of the gate. But I would like to exercise my thoughts on the matter honesty and integrity.

I don’t think it would be too far off to say that we all greatly value honesty and integrity. Who among us has ever said they wanted a liar and a cheat on their profile? The answer is none. (I think). Yet, it would probably also be safe to say that we are all guilty of at least lying and probably in some capacity cheating. I would define cheating as thinking of someone besides your significant other as cheating. You don’t need to act on it to be guilty.

So we are all guilty of these things in different capacities. What becomes a challenge is to define the level of acceptance of these things and allow your partner the freedom to be human inside those boundaries. Im probably only making sense in my own mind on this but Ill try an example:

: We lie to the ones we love and cherish most and they forgive us because we were well intended. Our children are told by the people they trust most that there is a Santa Clause, an Easter Bunny and not to make silly faces because it could stick that way for ever. We tell these lies with no ill intension and as parents we are forgiven. But they are still lies. We are still deceiving the ones we cherish. Would we want to get caught in a lie to our children and be disowned forever? No we would not. The lie was harmless in our minds. But what is the impact on the child when he finds out that there is no Santa Claus? We see a harmless well serving lie to promote happiness in our loved ones. Our loved ones could see devistation on the day of truth. But they forgive us and our relationship goes on forever.

So to bring this back up to an adult level, for all of us that have lied or not told the whole truth to our lover and companion, why did you not tell the truth? Were you deceiving because you wanted to avoid causing your lover pain? Is that such a bad thing? To lie to keep the peace and spare someone’s feelings? Because you feel your secret has little meaning towards your feelings of your companion but your companion and lover may feel the opposite. So you lie to keep the peace. Haven’t we all done it? Isn’t it an impossibility and maybe even a fantasy to expect complete truth? When we demand absolute truth or consequences, have we not doomed ourselves to destruction of that relationship? After all, who is strong enough to accept the entire truth? I will testify in this post that I think that I am. But I also know that if I was, I would be the only one on earth that could. So reality is, Im fooling myself into believing I can take the whole truth. Most of us will feel the same way. We feel we can take it until we get it. Then our vision of reality and integrity is shattered.

Someone may think that I condone lying and deceit. This would mean I have not been clear in my writing. What I am saying is that we are all guilty and when we find a lie or deceit in our relationship, it should be taken with a grain of salt. What I am saying is that lies and deciet exist at some level in all our relationships. Forgiveness can be the most powerfull tool in preserving your happiness. Evaluate the happiness you had before you found out. If you were happy before, don’t let that lie or deceit steal your happiness. Manage the situation to minimize the impact and protect what you had. It’s all mental. Happiness is what we all want. To all people, I hope you find happiness. If you already have it, don’t let it slip away over reacting on something that is human nature to begin with.

I understood what was meant in the beginning of this thread about honesty and integrity. I know I drew this meaning off into the woods. Probably deeper than most care to discuss. But if you have read this far, you have an opinion Id like to hear about. It’s not possible to hurt my feelings. Im not always right and even when I am, it’s ok to disagree. I can take a lot of honesty and truth. My integrity will be judged here on these boards over time.

One last note:
Forgiveness is a gift worth giving over and over. I encourage this idea to be in all your thoughts.

Thanks for letting me express my thoughts on a topic as big as the world

TearCollector


< Message edited by TearCollector -- 8/24/2005 2:33:25 PM >

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 4:08:13 PM   
apricott


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline 		we agree

(in reply to StrongEagle)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/24/2005 7:47:04 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Honesty and Integrity

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongEagle

Without either there is no relationship!


Yes, I do feel better!!!!!!


They are but two aspects which for me make up one word

HONOUR

Without Honour there is no point in living!

People I Love and Respect:

People who have humanity,
People who have Honour,
People who have integrity,
People who have discipline,
People who have a sense of duty,
People who care!

People I can not Tolerate:

Mean minded people,
People who are bigoted,
People who pour abuse and derogatory comments on other peoples' works and have no creative ability themselves.
Craven cowards,
Abusers and attackers of - The aged, the infirm, the young, women, religions and priests and priestesses (in any form) of any religion.


De Oppresso Libra

Viva l'Mercinare! Viva l'Chevelare! Viva l'Mort!!!!

Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

~~~~~~~~~

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

~~~~~~~~~

A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread--and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness--
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!




_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to StrongEagle)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/25/2005 3:43:07 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
i adore IronBear. He is exactly right; what i truely desire in a Dom or Master is HONOR. <Off to revise my profile>

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/25/2005 3:44:12 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/25/2005 4:06:05 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
Tearcollector -
Thank you.


Most often on boards (here, elsewhere, over there) there is an insipid need to extol virtues for which we are all guilty of violating and of which there has not been a consensus since Plato first thought to define love.

Certainly a person has to have "honor" - however, I challenge anyone to state in a succinct and complete way that would encompass all people exactly what that is.

We all have measurements for our lives and tolerance of these in degrees is exactly what we are faced with as rational and intelligent/adult human beings.

The constant statement that "<name an absolute> is the exemplary and necessary requisite for anyone in leather" is one of hte banes of our interrelational dynamics; causing catastrophic issue where the expectations and statements of fidelity (with that absolute) are not maintainable or attainable.

We are human... we are fallible. That someone takes on a mantle of "alternative lifestyle" and 'assumes' the ideal is not real, is not practical, and is not sane.

Just a few thoughts to add in here.

~J

< Message edited by LordODiscipline -- 8/25/2005 4:07:46 PM >

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/25/2005 8:05:11 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

way that would encompass all people exactly what that is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline


Tearcollector -
Thank you.


Most often on boards (here, elsewhere, over there) there is an insipid need to extol virtues for which we are all guilty of violating and of which there has not been a consensus since Plato first thought to define love.

Certainly a person has to have "honor" - however, I challenge anyone to state in a succinct and complete way that would encompass all people exactly what that is.


~J


to show honour is to show trust, honesty, dignity, and true behaviour. plato is too often quoted as extolling things he was not a judge of.

(in reply to LordODiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Honesty and Integrity - 8/25/2005 9:01:11 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy

Lately....i have shown more Honor and Integrity then i ever have in my entire Life.
In this relationship: The one with myself!
It feels strange, different, new, good/but not always liking what i see/about me.
Don't think some in my Life really like it all that much, me looking out for myself.
This is excellent timing, my son is grown, about to find/choose new Master (hope)
(coming into my own) Finding "MY honor and integrity". <and keeping healthy
boundaries...steady as she goes >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>forward



This is a beautiful post.



(in reply to mossy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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