Advice...?

Advice...? (Full Version)

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sodsta -> Advice...? (1/5/2008 6:30:22 PM)
In the past, I've always gone to fetish clubs with friends - I generally feel safer and more at ease when I know I have someone with me to keep me company; to know I'll always have at least one person there to talk to. Recently, though, I've decided I'd quite like to try going to a club on my own. I'm not sure how it will play out, but I'd like to at least give it a go. Thing is, I'm generally quite nervous and shy around new people, and in an atmosphere like that I can see myself clamming up a bit if I'm on my own. I'd like to meet and talk to people... not necessarily for any play... I'd just like to be able to approach people, chat, and possibly make friends - my only issue is that I don't want to come across as being aggressive or pushy... I also don't want to seem lonely and needy - because I'm not. I just wanted to ask if you guys had any advice for a first time solo club-goer? Is there anything specific I should or shouldn't be doing? The obvious answer is, of course, to be myself... and I very much intend to be, since there's not much point pretending to be anything else... but is there a certain way I should be approaching people? What would catch your attention, in a positive way, in that type of situation? All help and advice is greatly appreciated. :)

petpete -> RE: Advice...? (1/5/2008 6:43:14 PM)
sodsta, don't worry no one bites you.. i have visited on my own in the past most if not all of my local clubs.. Always alone as i would not dear to tell my vanilla friends to accompany me.. (they only like dancing, as ofcourse i do too). What i would do is sit at the bar and drink and maybe wonder around like the rest of the curious visitors.. At some of the clubs you do get to be introduced ofcourse to your locals, but yes you need to get out and visit the clubs, mine due you look quite young and WHAT IN THE HELL YOU DOING INSIDE??????!!! Anyway everyone needs to have real contact with real people. It doesn't necessarily mean it will get you anywhere but its a better feel you will get of the world around you.

slaveboyforyou -> RE: Advice...? (1/5/2008 6:47:04 PM)
I go out by myself all the time. I don't enjoy doing that, but most of my friends are married with kids. So, I sort of have to do all of my single guy stuff alone. I am not a big fan of clubs; they are just not the best places to meet people. The music is always too loud, and there are just way too many people in them. I do like to play pool, so I will go to a smaller tavern here in town to do that. The pool tables are nicer, and they have good, cheap beer! LOL, you can't beat that. I do actually meet women there, and it's nice to be able to sit and have a conversation with them. If you mean BDSM clubs, I can't really comment. We really don't have them around here. It's hard to meet lifestyle people around here. I did go to a couple of munches here once, but I didn't really care for the people I met. Most of them seemed more like swingers than BDSM interested folks to me.

LaMistressa -> RE: Advice...? (1/5/2008 7:25:19 PM)
My only advice would be to talk to people in more neutral areas of the club (like the bar or the food area) vs. around the dungeon area. I always find it disconcerting when someone talks to me when I'm either setting up or picking up my gear after a scene, and lots of chatter can be distracting for those still playing. Other than that, get out there and have fun!

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