RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl?

RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (Full Version)

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littlebitxxx -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 12:08:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I know for a fact that my confidence, awareness, lack of accepting bullshit or compromising of self, security, stability and life outside of the scene has scared away a few prospects. snipped I agree with LA but from the other side of the coin. Amazing how many Doms ask for this in their profile and then get scared off when they find it. I feel no fear from anyone, Doms or otherwise, but have felt major squicks with a couple. And it was only deep into negotiations and discussion prior to meeting that these came out in the open and I veered away. Scared? No. Turned off? Completely. To get into a relationship with either of these two Doms would have turned out badly. One wanted me to whore for him...not a turn off until I found out that he meant picking up truckers at rest stops, etc. NOT! The other was a micro-manager. NOT! So in my case, 'turned off' could be seen as 'scared off' but that wasn't the case.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:05:15 PM)
Hell yes. In fact, even at work, I've had employess say I was so intimidating, they were afraid of messing up. I'm not sure why people get this feeling. It blows my image as a warm and loving person (hey, just ask my ummms). I have often went into meetings feeling like I was very mellow, and had people say I was forcing my opinions on them when I just thought we were having a good discussion. I don't understand it and I don't like it. Well, I do like the fact my daughters boyfriend is scared to death of me. [:D]

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:11:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty Doms- especially men- have you ever been so dominant that you scared a girl away? I have heard girls talk about Doms that scared them. Not because they actually did anything, but just because they were very dominant. I guess I have been scared off my one potential Dom in my life. He didn't do anything bad either. He just sounded too intimdating somehow over the phone. How many subs got scared away by a Dom? How about by a Domme? I guess I don't scare anyone. Matter of fact, I was told by a sub who wanted phone domination a few months back that I wasn't nasty enough! Serious, I was just discussing with someone that typically both I and my submissive have butterflies before a first encounter. Once things click, the butterflies head south. Les (Purveyor of Fine, handcrafted Kink)

domiguy -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:17:15 PM)
I always attributed to scaring them off because I was too much of a man and Dom....There is a thin line between being Domly and just plain creepy.

Padriag -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:19:33 PM)
I get the same reaction Cowboy. With employees it can actually be a desirable thing. With me I know exactly where it comes from. Its one part unpredictability... they're not 100% sure what I'll do if they fuck up... that makes them a little more worried about it because of the natural fear of the unknown. Its one part desire for approval, my employees generally like me, so they don't want to risk losing that approval or friendship, hence they worry about fucking up. Its one part dependency, my employees need their jobs, I pay better than anyone else in this business around here so jobs with me are valued; thus my employees don't want to fuck up a good thing. Same thing works with submissives, its good to be a little mysterious, a little unpredictable, just to keep them guessing a little bit (not a whole lot, just a little), regarding how you'll react to certain things (on the other hand there also needs to be certainty and predictability in how you react to certain other things so that they feel safe and secure... you're trying to balance comfort with mystery). Yet at the same time, you want to balance that with being someone who's approval they want because they genuinely like you. And lastly, offer something they don't want to lose, so many dominants seem to forget that they need to offer something themselves and if they want to be especially valued as a dominant they have to have more to offer. Keep a submissive guessing with a little mystery, fear of disapproval and fear of loss of desirable circumstance and she'll happily keep herself under your thumb.

CalifChick -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:23:11 PM)
Okay, Padriag scares me. It's that whole pirate-in-the-woods picture, that there-are-bodies-buried-here kinda thang, that are-you-gonna-have-a-good-time-or-are-you-gonna-be-next THANG. [sm=whoa.gif] Cali

CalifChick -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:24:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill Once things click, the butterflies head south. Psst! Les! The butterfly vibe is supposed to START down south! Cali (off to find a compass for Les)

Padriag -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:30:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Okay, Padriag scares me. It's that whole pirate-in-the-woods picture, that there-are-bodies-buried-here kinda thang, that are-you-gonna-have-a-good-time-or-are-you-gonna-be-next THANG. [sm=whoa.gif] Cali LOL... thank you. But who says being next and having a good time are mutually exclusive? [;)]

christine1 -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 2:33:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy . Well, I do like the fact my daughters boyfriend is scared to death of me. [:D] hehe, my daughters boyfriend is terrified of me, he can barely make eye contact sometimes....yes i'm submissive, but not in matters where my "mother bear" tendencies come into play. well that was a little off topic, if someone has a problem with it, listen to the link below hehe.

CalifChick -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 3:03:52 PM)
Christine, a friend of mine cheerfully calls me Dommy Mommy when the mamabear comes out. Cali

Leatherist -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 3:09:03 PM)
What you can do with something as simple as a jar with spiders in it is very amusing.

christine1 -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 3:10:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Christine, a friend of mine cheerfully calls me Dommy Mommy when the mamabear comes out. Cali and that's exactly how it should be.

KMsAngel -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 7:37:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Okay, Padriag scares me. It's that whole pirate-in-the-woods picture, that there-are-bodies-buried-here kinda thang, that are-you-gonna-have-a-good-time-or-are-you-gonna-be-next THANG. [sm=whoa.gif] Cali LOL... thank you. But who says being next and having a good time are mutually exclusive? [;)] ok, now i'm worried for cali. going off to find a tracker bracelet for cali before she hands him the compass

littlebitxxx -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 8:31:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag snipped Same thing works with submissives, its good to be a little mysterious, a little unpredictable, just to keep them guessing a little bit (not a whole lot, just a little), regarding how you'll react to certain things (on the other hand there also needs to be certainty and predictability in how you react to certain other things so that they feel safe and secure... you're trying to balance comfort with mystery). Yet at the same time, you want to balance that with being someone who's approval they want because they genuinely like you. And lastly, offer something they don't want to lose, so many dominants seem to forget that they need to offer something themselves and if they want to be especially valued as a dominant they have to have more to offer. Keep a submissive guessing with a little mystery, fear of disapproval and fear of loss of desirable circumstance and she'll happily keep herself under your thumb. And if you can bottle that and sell it, Padriag, you'll make a fortune. I think every woman, sub slave or not, kinda wishes that in a man/Man/Dom/Master.

Leatherist -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 9:43:14 PM)
Looking back over another recent thread got me thinking....... I did manage to scare a past girl pretty badly once. She asked me about needles and blood play-so I proceeded to show her. In the best way I knew how-on myself. I have to admit that the sadist in me enjoyed seeing the reaction of horror as I slid the last needle home in the ladder I was working on in my upper chest-I think my expresson was part of it. She said something about a souless look in my eyes-like the eyes of a shark. Sort of a baleful intensity,with no real emotion behind it.. Hard for me to say.........I'm not a masochist-and that sort of play only makes me hyperfocus.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/6/2008 9:47:03 PM)
I used to find that the more scared and intimidated I was, then the more intense the play.

CuriousLord -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/7/2008 12:13:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavetaboo quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita I think if I weren't a bit afraid of a man, I wouldn't be attracted to him. For me, passion is that place where fear meets lust. Amen, I like you already. I think most of the slaves I've collared before would agree with you two. And you girls are still silly creatures to me. So afraid of things.

Level -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/7/2008 3:26:20 AM)
This thread makes me laugh. [:D]

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/7/2008 3:40:01 AM)
If anything I know I have scared a few vanilla girls before. Can't say that I've scared anybody who's in the lifestyle before. I have had a few flake out and go poof on me though. I myself have been a little scared off by a few Dommes and Switches though. This last Saturday, I actually went on a date.. with a Switch... she's not big on all the lifestyle label. Basically a Kinky Girl, that was talking about putting shock collars around my neck and all. She actually owns a crop too... She did not know what a flogger was. Mmmmmmm... Anyways, kinky girls that want to do certain things to me... to see the Gleem in thier eyes and their voice perk up at the thought of putting a shock collar around me.. well, Geee.. I have a maso streak but... Yeah... Meh... Who's scared of what again. Actually I think I might be scaring her a little cause I explained to her what DOM means, at least for me personally.

sirguym -> RE: Doms, you ever scare a girl? (1/7/2008 4:01:13 AM)
I had one girl who explored my bedside cabinet the morning after, finding a copy of the Marquis De Sade's book, The 120 Days Of Sodom; and an electric drill. She was a bit concerned .... but she came back.

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