HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY?

HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (Full Version)

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Bobbie9395 -> HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/6/2008 9:31:11 AM)
Good morning, everyone. I've searched the archives and haven't exactly found the answer I'm looking for. I am brand new to this lifestyle and am currently under consideration by a Dom I found on CM. I adore him, and it appears he seems to really like me. My problem is I don't seem to appear humble enough. He said I've got it intellectually, but I'm not really outwardly showing it. I know I feel it INSIDE, but am just not sure how to display it. I would appreciate any and all suggestions. What are some outwardly VISIBLE signs of humility? I've checked different websites regarding this, but have not really gotten the answers I need. He's not asked me to do this, but would one way be to meet him at the door on my knees, in addition to bowed head? Those are the kinds of ideas I'm looking for. I'm trying so hard to please him, and he knows it and is being very patient and kind to me. Thank you for any suggestions you may have for me.

DesFIP -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/6/2008 9:33:40 AM)
Don't pretend to be someone you aren't. If you don't feel deferential towards him, then you will come to resent being forced to act like that. What has he done to inspire your submission or does he expect you to do it all?

KatyLied -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/6/2008 9:35:29 AM)
It almost sounds like he's pulling a "not sub enough" thing on you. I don't know about humility, but perhaps practice on showing deference to him. Listen in conversations to what he likes and doesn't like. Meeting him at the door with a bowed head? Just because you read somewhere that others do without knowing if it's something he likes? It's also his job to communicate things to you. You don't have to play the guessing game.

RCdc -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/6/2008 10:38:53 AM)
First, find out what he means by humility. Humility isn't lowliness or bowing and scrapping. It's not being on your knees or self abasement because its the correct or right thing to do, humility is how you feel. You are asking how to show humility and that in itself is not humility. You cannot ask others how you present it, do you see? the.dark.

Bobbie9395 -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/6/2008 11:06:47 AM)
What an idiot I am. Why the heck didn't I think of that? I just determined what I thought the definition of "humble" was, even looked exact definition up in the dictionary, and tried to figure out how I was to outwardly show it. You're right. I need to ASK him what HIS impression of humble is, as we've only briefly discussed it. Thank you so much.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/6/2008 12:08:47 PM)
Well seems like problem solved on this one :) If someone has decided you are good enough to be under consideration, then you need to start acting like you're already in the dynamic. He can't just plop a problem down in your lap, he's supposed to be telling you what he expects, and that includes specifics.

meticulousgirl -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/6/2008 12:55:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark First, find out what he means by humility. Humility isn't lowliness or bowing and scrapping. It's not being on your knees or self abasement because its the correct or right thing to do, humility is how you feel. You are asking how to show humility and that in itself is not humility. You cannot ask others how you present it, do you see? the.dark. To me this is the perfect answer, maybe not to everyone else but, to me it is. ~meticulous~

whipingherfeet -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 7:36:14 AM)
when he comes home greet him at the door with head bow and kiss he feet ..and go bare feet for him

Jeffff -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 7:43:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet when he comes home greet him at the door with head bow and kiss he feet ..and go bare feet for him And this is what happens when parents leave the computer on Jeff

darkpassenger434 -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 8:15:48 AM)
Dark nailed it I think. Find out what humble means to him and decide if you are happy doing that. -R

Kalista07 -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 9:14:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff quote: ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet when he comes home greet him at the door with head bow and kiss he feet ..and go bare feet for him And this is what happens when parents leave the computer on Jeff Damn it Jefff, how many times do we have to tell You...Keep the blow up dolls away from the computer..... :P

whipingherfeet -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 9:18:02 AM)
have fun playing with your self

Kalista07 -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 9:24:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet have fun playing with your self i find it not only rude but offensive that You would speak to my Lord and Savior, the holy Jeffly one like that.....Good thing He doesn't allow me the power to smite people.

Jeffff -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 9:27:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet have fun playing with your self Well if I didn't........what would be the point? Jeff

toservez -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 9:40:33 AM)
Humility is a difficult thing to describe. It is not about specific actions though our actions have it in them. It is not about using or not using specific words but language is a critical part of it. The short version of humility is taking one’s ego out of one's life. It is doing something you are very proud of but not acting like you are better then others or others who have tried the same thing. It is about doing things and not wanting to be singled out. It is about doing what is expected of us and not searching out or desiring compliments. Humility in language is about not making things about you or how great you are. It can be small things like not saying “I make the best mashed potatoes” and instead saying something like “people seem to like my mashed potatoes”. Humility is inward. It is about not projecting you are special or better then anyone and in particular who you are with. It has nothing to do with showing deference to another.

ksub4u -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 9:47:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobbie9395 What an idiot I am. Why the heck didn't I think of that? I just determined what I thought the definition of "humble" was, even looked exact definition up in the dictionary, and tried to figure out how I was to outwardly show it. You're right. I need to ASK him what HIS impression of humble is, as we've only briefly discussed it. Thank you so much. lol. You're not an idiot. You're just learning. And a tip - when showing humility before him in the manner he wishes (be it waiting on your knees, kissing his hand, etc.), remember that your sincerity will show through. It's not just an action - if you show the emotion behind the action then he will pick up on that and may be very pleased indeed. When I am to show my Master my devotion in a more formal manner as he has requested, I take a breath and center myself, quiet my thoughts towards him and proceed. For example, when he has been particularly loving, giving, whatever, towards me, I will take a second and gather myself and then show my thanks. My efforts have most definitely been appreciated by him. Good luck to you!

MissHarlet -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 9:48:03 AM)
As others have said .... Only he an tell you what he thinks shows humility... Ask...it is all about communication. ... if you cant ask when you dont know or understand something ... then you will never KNOW what HE wants .. and it is all about what pleases him ... not what others THINK you should or should not do.

fairerthanshe -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/8/2008 1:24:38 PM)
Greetings Bobbie, I will echo what LA said. Submission, humility, service are all things that need to be defined by the Master in the relationship. No book or forum can give you the correct answer - only He can. Each dynamic is different and has its own set of rules, protocols and expected behaviors. Good luck with your journey. well wishes ~ fairer than she

ProlificNeeds -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/9/2008 4:53:25 PM)
"You're not very ____ for a sub" "I guess you don't inspire me to be that way." Insult or compliment, take it how they will, that's the only response. I've been told plenty of times I'm not X or Y enough for a Dom's preference, and I simply tell them, this is how I am, get to know me, and accept me, or keep browsing. You don't need to prove yourself or be a certain way, if that person doesn't want you for who you are, then your best efforts at pretending won't be good enough anyway, and it is ultimately a deception. You are not clay to be molded into someone's ideal toy, you're a fully formed person with your own personality and habits.

Bobbie9395 -> RE: HOW DO I SHOW HUMILITY? (1/9/2008 5:56:12 PM)
I thank each and every one of you for your responses. I have gleaned some good information and a lot of food for thought. Since I first posted my question, I think I've made definite progress. He seems to think so, too. You've all been very kind. Thank you, again.

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