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kyraofMists -> RE: Questions (8/24/2005 4:07:16 PM)
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aurora,
First piece of advice I would give is take your time getting to know each other. One of my Lord's favorite sayings is "cheaply given is cheaply valued". If you give yourself too easily and quickly then you will be valued cheaply. I met my Lord on-line over 9 months ago. I made it very clear what I valued most, integrity, loyalty, honor, openness and that my trust would not be easily gained. We chatted for over a month and emailed everyday before our first phone conversation.
I got to know Him as a friend, I asked Him about all the things that sparked my curiosity and His response was just as important as how He responded. He was always patient and pleased with my questions and seemed to get great pleasure in answering them. I asked the questions more than once to make sure He was consistent in His answers. I would call Him out of the blue to see how He would respond to a suprise phone call, happy to hear from me or aggravated about being interrupted. I have learned to love the sound of His, "Hi!!!", always so excited to hear from me. I saved every chat and every email, one for the pleasure of reading them all again and two to check for inconsistencies. It is very difficult to keep up a lie for long. my Lord never pushed me for anything; He always allowed me to give what I was comfortable giving. He let me have as much control in our relationship and where it went as He did. Until I became His, we were only friends. He offered guidance, suggestions and knowledge but never expected me to submit to Him until I became His.
After 3 months of chatting, we decide to make plans to meet. First, I told Him I was going to do a background check on Him and if He had given me any indication that He was not happy with that, I would have ended the interaction. Then, He made me do research on safe calls so that He would know that I knew what they were. I was required to find a person who would be my safe call. Since my Lord lives quite a distance from me, it was several more months before we actually met face to face. We met in an airport and I had a plan for what I would do if the meet did not go well; I had my safe calls lined up for the entire trip.
To shorten a long story, He earned my trust and respect through months of chat, emails and phone calls. He earned the gift of my submission to Him. By the time I went to see Him, I had no doubts that I was His, but until we met all we were was friends. For both of us, it was a requirement to meet first before I offered myself to Him.
I do not regret a single moment of the six months He and I spent interacting before we met. They helped me learn about myself, learn about Him and His life. He also encouraged me to get involved in my local community and supported me throughout my fears and anxieties of going to events alone. I wish that you had a local community to get involved in, it is a great way to learn about things and about yourself.
Trust yourself, trust your instincts and don't let anyone rush you into anything you are not comfortable with. Take your time and use your head. If something doesn't sound right then it probably isn't. Watch how they interact with others, that is as important as how they interact with you.
good luck and enjoy the journey.
Knight's kyra
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