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Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 11:37:06 AM

gonegolddigging

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Often submisives throw it up to Doms that they dont read all their profile. I see it In submisive profiles all the time.Even in conversations If you miss or forget one word or nuance deeply buried in a huge profile some subs will go into a huge rant. But what about you subs ? Do you read every word in a Doms profile before you respond to them?
I just had a sub go off on me because Im too far away from her. After reading my profile How could she posably think that?

Post #: 1

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 11:54:18 AM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

Lots of people on both sides read profiles, and a lot don't. The problem is that no one knows how many people read their profile and decide not to contact them. My favorite demonstration of this is the person who had two lines in her profile that said nothing of particular importance. She later changed her profile and complained that she got over 4,000 (yes, that's 4k) messages over a couple months that were variants of those two lines. That means that four thousand people who responded actually read her profile and composed a response based on it (assuming she isn't pulling it out of her ass). So the more effective the profile is filtering those who do read, the more it seems that people don't read the profile. This is because the people who don't read will contact you regardless of what the profile says.

I would also expect that the longer the profile, the more likely it is to either be; only read part way, skimmed, misinterpreted, or just ignored.

Honsoku

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 1/6/2008 12:06:59 PM >

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 12:03:37 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Sometimes I will skim all the profiles on here for the hell of it. {Domme, Dom, sub, switch, whatever}.

If a profile catches my eye, I will often read the full profile and the journal entries, for pure entertainment only.

When someone contacts me, and I am a bit interested in them, I CERTAINLY read their entire profile carefully.

Great topic, found any gold yet?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 3

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 12:07:02 PM

MissKeyholder

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I do take the time to read the person's profile as it will show me if the person has taken the time to craft a good profile. With a good profile, I get a slight sense of their ideals, thoughts, and sometimes .... their sense of humor.
For me, it drives me crazy when there are spelling/grammar mistakes...I know that this is a bit anal....but if the person is not going to take the time to do a decent effort on their profile, then I think that they won't put forth the same in a relationship.
All I can say is...Take the time to make a good effort, think of your profile as a resume for the person that you are looking for...it just might be the catalyst for a new relationship!!!
Lastly, I have gained several good friends by reading their profiles when they have contacted me.

Cassandra

(in reply to Honsoku)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 12:08:34 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I just had a sub go off on me because Im too far away from her. After reading my profile How could she posably think that?

I don't know, does your profile say you are in the same city? Otherwise, she kinda does get to decide what is too far away for her.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 12:13:32 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

I do read all of the profiles of any Dom who interests me, since I am more interested in a person than just what their picture shows me. I have found that *most* (though not all, of course) people who have nothing of significance in their profiles are looking more for sex than for a relationship. After all, why go to the trouble of entering meaningful text to let someone know who you are inside if all you're looking for is a booty call?

Just my opinion.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 12:23:01 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

Yes, if something looks interesting on the profile I read all, including pages and pages of journals. Sometimes you learn more about a person in the journals than the profile itself.

(in reply to bamabbwsub)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 1:10:27 PM

SlaveOwnerDave

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Petaluma, CA
Status: offline

quote:

Original: Honsoku
I would also expect that the longer the profile, the more likely it is to either be; only read part way, skimmed, misinterpreted, or just ignored.

Greetings gonegolddigging,

A story which goes with Honsoku's story:

On another site, I have a profile somewhat like the one I have here. They are written/re-written separately, but I try to cover My good and bad parts, and what I want. No biggie, one expects that in a profile.

A few days back, a Dom asked for help with His profile, to increase His "success". Most responders took Him to task for objectifying women. Rather than yell at Him, I told Him what I thought were good ideas. These are the ideas We all hear about being open, forthright, honest, about what one desires, and explain why one is a good choice, etc.

Later, I messaged Him some ideas I thought might help Him. Two days later, I stopped to realize that those ideas had failed Me.

So, I started a second profile. I put up an otherwise useless photo of My midriff, showing My three-inch-wide belt and My two hands. I then said I would use My belt(s) to work over anyone's butt, were he interested/so inclined.

The result so far: The new profile, Jan 01, and only half of Jan 02, received more views and more "notice me"s than My regular profile had received in all of December.

I am, of course, still going through the process, but I expect to have useful data in two months, maybe even sooner. This is an interesting situation--I am fascinated.

And, yes, I will use My belts for that purpose. No lie there!

Do people read the profiles? I doubt it. Mine, here, has URLs of My blog pages, but no one has ever remarked on anything I have written. SlaveMaster's seven, from the BornSlaves site and discussion group, did read My writings, and found them interesting, so the problem is unlikely to be what I have written.

I read other peoples' profiles, and not always for entertainment. Some have a good idea or turn of phrase. And some are completely useless!

Sincerely,
Master Dave

_____________________________

Intelligence, Logic, and Reason are useful--but only when used!

http://www.experienceproject.com/about/masterdavidgoodmen
http://Master-Dave.LiveJournal.com/
[link]http://people.tribe.net/MasterDave[/

(in reply to Honsoku)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 1:24:24 PM

johntom571

Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveOwnerDave

quote:

Original: Honsoku
I would also expect that the longer the profile, the more likely it is to either be; only read part way, skimmed, misinterpreted, or just ignored.
Greetings gonegolddigging,

A story which goes with Honsoku's story:

On another site, I have a profile somewhat like the one I have here. They are written/re-written separately, but I try to cover My good and bad parts, and what I want. No biggie, one expects that in a profile.

A few days back, a Dom asked for help with His profile, to increase His "success". Most responders took Him to task for objectifying women. Rather than yell at Him, I told Him what I thought were good ideas. These are the ideas We all hear about being open, forthright, honest, about what one desires, and explain why one is a good choice, etc.

Later, I messaged Him some ideas I thought might help Him. Two days later, I stopped to realize that those ideas had failed Me.

So, I started a second profile. I put up an otherwise useless photo of My midriff, showing My three-inch-wide belt and My two hands. I then said I would use My belt(s) to work over anyone's butt, were he interested/so inclined.

The result so far: The new profile, Jan 01, and only half of Jan 02, received more views and more "notice me"s than My regular profile had received in all of December.

I am, of course, still going through the process, but I expect to have useful data in two months, maybe even sooner. This is an interesting situation--I am fascinated.

And, yes, I will use My belts for that purpose. No lie there!

Do people read the profiles? I doubt it. Mine, here, has URLs of My blog pages, but no one has ever remarked on anything I have written. SlaveMaster's seven, from the BornSlaves site and discussion group, did read My writings, and found them interesting, so the problem is unlikely to be what I have written.

I read other peoples' profiles, and not always for entertainment. Some have a good idea or turn of phrase. And some are completely useless!

Sincerely,
Master Dave

Interesting. Keep us posted. I remember reading in "Blink" by Malcom Gadwell, that while most ppl sincerely confess to definite ideas of what they consider positive traits in others, in actual fact they find themselves unconciously attracted by quite different attributes. I give very little value to the "usual" advice (be yourself, be positive, be polite, be specific. I put up stuff and see if it flies.

JT

(in reply to SlaveOwnerDave)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 1:32:53 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

I'll be honest - if a prospective sub does not take five minutes to read every word of my profile and respect my requests to remain polite and friendly (not pervy, not sleazy, not overtly submissive) in an initial communication, then there won't be a communication at all.

I have no respect or patience for a supposed submissive who emails about how obedient he is and how much he wants to serve me while simultaneously violating every polite request I've made in my profile about initial contacts. I get a fairly ridiculous number of those. Bzzzt, sorry, fail. Not wasting my time talking to those.

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 1:37:04 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I just had a sub go off on me because Im too far away from her. After reading my profile How could she posably think that?

How far away was she?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 1:43:53 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

If someone contacts me I definitely read their profile. I have to so that I can see if we even remotely have anything in common. Does he have a sense of humor? Did he even bother to write anything? It's the first impression, and I do mean first, because I'll click on that little envelope to read it before I open their email, and also to see if they have written me in the past.

I do get a lot of emails from people that only look at pictures, they don't read profiles, and usually don't write emails, just cut and paste.

That's my experience any way

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 1:55:17 PM

gonegolddigging

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

She wrote me this

"and the crime of on line doms....that women on this site have time to look at their profiles. if you received 10 to 20 emails a day, you wouldn't have time either. so take what you get and be satisfied....sorry to have troubled you........ "

I think thats down right hillarious If all I had to deal with was 20 emails ina day Id never for get a word but the best part is the opening line of HER profile.
"hello and thank you for taking the time to read my profile.
LOL now thats funny...I dont care who ya are!

(in reply to johntom571)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 2:05:13 PM

unravel

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline

i doubt this is a matter of subs versus Dominants reading more or less profiles, as a general rule. It just depends on the person's personality, and attention to details.
For the record i am sub, and i read the profiles ;)
unravel

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 3:04:44 PM

angelique510

Posts: 33
Joined: 8/27/2005
Status: offline

Dear Gonegolddigging,

I believe the reason you see that complaint in submissive's profiles is this;

I have talked to many females on this site over the past couple of years, and always hear stories about -
*subs who get messages from men who want to submit to them,
*dommes who get messages from men who want to dominate them,
*lesbians who get messages from men,
*straight girls who get messages from women,
*women in comitted relationships who get messages from people who want to "hook up"
and my favorite-
*messages from doms asking me "do u have a master?"

I will read all sorts of profiles, and will often send a message commenting on a pretty picture, funny joke, interesting philosophy, or just plain good writing. I moved out of state last year and before the move, I wrote to several people and started conversations about my new home town and made several friends. In fact we just had drinks in the home of a F/m couple I met that way. We are not compatable in the BDSM sense, nor do we have any desire to be so, but we had a very nice evening talking about other things.

I would write to anyone, male or female, dom or sub, coupled or single, in Virginia or New Zealand if I think we can have good conversation. Since I am not looking for a realtionship, things like gender, orientation, status or location doesn't matter. But if someone e-mails a person in the hope of a BDSM relationship, even if it is a one night long relationship, the writer should check the profile to see if they might be compatable in that area.

Besides, how does one chose whom to write to without reading profiles? Unless of course, the e-mailer is just having a fishing expedition and sending messages to everyone and anyone in the hope that someone will bite. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people come to this site and do just that. I can see how anyone who get a lot of messages , and I am guessing this happens mostly to females with pretty pictures, would get very frustrated.

I think the girl you mentioned in your post was out of line in going off. Too far away is a subjective thing. Unles she specifically stated in her profile "I only want e-mails from someone in my metro area." And even so, if she did say this and you started your letter by saying " I realize I am X miles away from you, but liked what you had to say and would be willing to travel that distance to see you" it would be forgivable.

This is my opinion based on what I have observed in my time on this site, and I hope I have answered your question.

Be well,
~A

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 4:43:02 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: unravel

i doubt this is a matter of subs versus Dominants reading more or less profiles, as a general rule. It just depends on the person's personality, and attention to details.

Agreed! If a sub interests me, I read her entire profile, her journal and sometimes, her posts. It gives me a lot of insight into the person behind the CM nickname. I use that information in two ways: to decide whether to contact her, and if so, what my best approach will be.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to unravel)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 6:17:24 PM

gonegolddigging

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Angelique510 I think you are right and of course after reading thru just a few of the submissives profiles I was awae of what you say.
But what hadnt occured to me was that the same people complaining about "Just Looking at Pictures" were doing pretty much the same thing themselves LOL I guess my faith in the wholesomeness of submissives is shaken.

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 6:17:32 PM

PrizedPosession

Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline

i read all profiles. i love to read profiles and journals because its so interesting to see how many people are on here. i usually dont message anyone but i do love to read the different views on this lifestyle and how many people are interested and what they are interested in. its really a great way to see whats out there.
-bobcat

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 7:37:23 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gonegolddigging

Angelique510 I think you are right and of course after reading thru just a few of the submissives profiles I was awae of what you say.
But what hadnt occured to me was that the same people complaining about "Just Looking at Pictures" were doing pretty much the same thing themselves LOL I guess my faith in the wholesomeness of submissives is shaken.

I was unaware we were held to a different sort of standard than the rest of humanity....Were we supposed to be more "wholesome"? In fact that is the last word I thought of to describe myself... loyal, kind, empathetic, intelligent, sincere, attractive, sensual... but wholesome? Um, probably not.

I think it is best never to lump all people from a group as being entirely alike...

As for your question, if I am browsing profiles and found someone interesting, I would read their entire profile before emailing them. If they emailed me and I knew from their photo, location, or the first couple of lines of their "about me" section that they were not for me, I would not read the entire profile.

Here is the thing you seem to be saying, you seem to be saying that the people you send emails to owe it to you to read your entire profile before dismissing you as a prospect... they don't owe that to you. They did not ask for your email. On the other hand, if you are emailing someone it makes sense that you would read their entire profile, you are the one trying to get their attention after all.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gonegolddigging)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you read the profiles? - 1/6/2008 8:00:28 PM

ViviDreamz

Posts: 42
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline

I read profiles. I, like another listed above, go through phases where I will just surf random profiles regardless of orientation or preference to just get a feel for people. In fact, I do this quite often. I am simply someone who feels that insight is gained in the most unique of places and the plethora of people found in these boards and throughout cm provides a great diversity of backgrounds, preferences, etc to choose from. This is one of the many reasons I enjoy reading profiles just to read them alone. If I find someone who intersts me on any level, I will read not only their profile, but also their journal as well as their forum posts. I find you will learn alot more from the forum and the journals than you will in the snippets of their profile majority of the time. However, this is just my two cents and should only be taken as such. Thank you.

_____________________________

As always, a vivid dreamer,
Kitten
There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.-Tolkien

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 20

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