RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (Full Version)

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krys -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (8/26/2005 5:05:51 PM)

Like any other tool, I believe the internet is as useful as the mental health of the people utilizing it. There always have been people that get too into something until it becomes unhealthy.

krys{Rk}



kisshou -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (8/26/2005 5:58:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ceyx

A few words in defense of fantasy.

I enjoy erotic roleplaying, as I do erotic fiction. Often, those who bash RP confuse the quality with the nature of the thing. If someone is unimaginative, or can't string a decent sentence together, or doesn't like to read, then of course that person isn't going to give or get much from 'cyber,' just as someone who doesn't know how to use a paddle or doesn't enjoy being spanked by one isn't going to give or get much from a real spanking.

Words are tools, and like all tools they can be used well or poorly. This is true in a live session, and it's true online as well. Those who don't find words or ideas erotic aren't going to see the point, of course, but to each his or her own. I wholeheartedly agree that erotic RP and real play are different in a wide variety of ways-- physical, psychological and practical-- but that's no reason to condemn fantasy. I can immerse myself in a novel (and become physically aroused by it) without believing that the main character lives next door. It's unfortunate that there are indeed people who can't separate fantasy from reality; still, it would seem that those people have larger issues to deal with than whether they should get their S/M virtually or at the club in town.


I have wanted to say this a million times but have not had the words. Thank you! Beautifully stated!



night101owl -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (8/31/2005 2:25:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I find every manifestation of any community has its obnoxious members and it's exceptional members and a bunch in between, whether they are online or not.

- LA


Of course, but I wasn't talking about obnoxious *people*. I was referring specifically to elements of internet BDSM culture that are unique to that culture, such as chatroom protocols.



LaughingDan -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (8/31/2005 4:06:41 PM)

Without the internet I would never have discovered I was not alone.



AbstractSavant -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (9/3/2005 3:25:32 PM)

I think that the internet can be a source for great information and education...and can be a great place to meet people with similar interests and ideas.

I also think that it can be a major source for misinformation, unsafe ideas and a place to meet people who are just online playing a role.

It all depends on where you look. I think we're all lucky to have found a place like CollarMe, where you can truly share information and meet REAL people.

Yes, there are fake people and misinformation here too...but at least there are enough real people here to help you sort through the shize.



LadiesBladewing -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (9/3/2005 7:33:34 PM)

The keyword for dealing with online BDSM, D/s, Gor or whatever would serve well if it was Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV). One of the most difficult things I ever had to deal with was re-training a servant who had been heavily involved online and came to us when her Owner wanted her to have specialized training in group service. I got -so- tired of hearing "they don't do it that way on XXX chatsite!", and "you must be wrong, because I read on YZ site that -real- slaves don't do that!" It got so bad that we finally had to discipline the servant in question to absolute silence for 3 days, and an assignment of 500x writing "The way my Owner asks me to do something -is- the right way--because it is what my Owner expects...and my Owner's expectations are the only guidelines that I need to worry about."

(If anyone is interested, it was 79 pages, single spaced, and in relatively small handwriting, when the servant was done, and took 6 days to finish, though after 3 days the servant began training again, and only worked on it when not in training activities.)

Lady Zephyr



Wickad -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (9/3/2005 7:36:25 PM)

Hello,

Hmmmm, interesting replies and they all seem to be along the same thread - good info, bad roleplay.

For myself I have found this:

1) the internet sucks for info - any moron with a PC can put up a sight and blather on about shit he knows nothing about and because he has a sight somehow he is legitimate or knowledgeable - pffffttt!!

2) people online lie - they lie because they can - they lie because they are looking at a reflection of themselves in their monitors and can't even fathom that there is another person on the other end of the connection.

3) I like the internet because I have a lot of free time and on occassion like to hear myself ... type(?), talk(?), etc.

4) If I meet a new person on a site the first thing I tell them is to turn off the computer and go get a book - you know, those things with publishers and such - and then try attending a munch and talking to real people. Now granted a lot of these 'real' people are also online so they are just as stupid in real life as they are here but it's easier to spot them when they don't have an impressive sounding name and you can ask others about them.

5) I do not expect to find what I seek online - I don't know if I will ever find what I seek and that's ok. My life and sense of self is not wound up in BDSM. I do have other interests and though I sound rather bitchy, I make friends easily and have even been known to be a 'swell gal' - lol.

6) I never thought I was the only one (maybe 'cause I'm an ego-maniac - lol) - I never thought I was alone and I never needed to find a community. Once I moved to a large enough center I became involved with the real time community from the very beginning. Even when I lived in the middle of 'knowhere' I knew there were kinky folks and that I probably wouldn't find them until I lived in a larger center - so I moved!!!

Just some thoughts from a person who really uses the internet as recreation only and enjoys living in the real world - the one with people and not 'nicknames' - lol.

Wickad



LadiesBladewing -> RE: Online BDSM..help or hinderance? (9/3/2005 7:39:57 PM)

Here, here. I wish I had time to spend in roleplay. I miss it quite a bit these days, since life has become very hectic. (I recently had to prepare for a major testing, and when I passed, my responsibilities increased exponentially!)

The important thing is to realize when one is roleplaying, and when one is in reality. Roleplay is roleplay, and is an extraordinary opportunity to spend some creative time having a good time in a world that fascinates you. It -isn't- reality, though. Many times, when we try to translate our roleplay into reality, there is a huge "fit" discrepancy...and it is my experience that trying too hard to make it fit reality takes some of the joy out of the roleplay. Of course, YMMV *grins*

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ceyx

A few words in defense of fantasy.

I enjoy erotic roleplaying, as I do erotic fiction. Often, those who bash RP confuse the quality with the nature of the thing.



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