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LadyAngelika -> RE: Grrrrrr.... (8/26/2005 8:48:45 AM)
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ORIGINAL: toran29
Playing devil's advocate...
Oh Goody Goody! A lawyer ;-)
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One thing struck me as I continued reading this thread - that this is almost the same experiences that dorky guys have trying to get a date with the cheerleader in HS. (I, ummm, wouldn't know about that first hand...I heard it somewhere). But switched - the Domme (the desireable cheerleader) is now put in the position of dealing with someone (the dorky guy, considering he's one of those that is of the offensive variety being discussed) and actually has the burden of considering whether this dork should be taking her time. First thought - said dork is probably glamour struck. He's talking to a real-life Domme! Wow - head rush. The attention of a Domme! Que high heels, leather, chains-whips-nippleclips...
Funny. This is the premise of one of my all time favourite humiliation scenes (which works much better if the sub actually lived this kind of humiliation in his youth). And it works because women’s sexuality is an extremely powerful thing. Do I know that most male subs are primarily attracted to me because of my strong sexuality? Of course.
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And here's another thought - chances are he's feverishly typing away his responses while flicking his raging boner and then Wham! the volcano blows and it's back to reality, thank you, good bye.
My point is that most of these guys aren't submissive at all. One of the other responses in this thread mentioned the possibility of those who are trying to communicate having poor information via the porno tapes. I acknowledge this could be true in some cases, but I suggest that a huge majority are just plain and simple ... wankers.
You are absolutely right. Most guys are not "submissives" at all. Which is why I don’t usually bother with men who present themselves to me as "a submissive". I am of the belief that people who present submissiveness or dominance as their identity rather then a personality trait of theirs that can be brought out in certain circumstances are fooling themselves first and foremost. I can make extremely strong men who have no idea that I am an experienced Top go down on their knees and beg me because in the heat of the moment, they let themselves get lost in the moment. Any man can be submissive if you give him enough incentive. I love the challenge too.
But what is submission anyways? Isn’t it devotion? When the hot scene is over and the man I’m with rubs my back and asks me if I want a glass of water or if I’m comfortable, isn’t that a sign of attention to my needs? When I’m done a scene, I want him spooning with me and making me feel cherished, not back on his knees in the corner or in a cage. It is an ongoing dynamic of being treated like a goddess that I’m looking for in the men I interact with. I think you don’t need to be "a submissive" to deliver this.
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Another thought - the novice. I've had limited experience with some things and I have a pretty good idea about others - I think I have a handle on my likes and dislikes. Most novices (the serious ones, now, not those wankers who say anything while in their pre-ejaculate stages) don't seriously know what a whip feels like. But they may feel pressured to be "up for whatever Mistress wants". How many of you Dommes have been told that someone's desire is to be kept caged forever? That's realistic, right?
A lot of people have fantasies. I have unrealistic fantasies as well. They serve a purpose which is to help get me off. I don’t try to live them out. Well I might if I can get my hands on an island and few hockey teams…
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I'm not supporting jellyfish (although a dominant trait of some subbies is ... indecision, am I right?) And I applaud the Dommes that give jellyfish enough feedback early to say, "No, really, tell me about yourself". But sometimes a subbie may think that Dommes bite early and often and how hard is it to hit a moving target?
I’m not sure I understand this bit… could you clarify?
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Getting to the last class, those who really and truly want to be with a Domme and really and truly want to have a real D/s relationship - how often do emails sent to Dommes get deleted without response for another reason altogether having nothing to do with what he has said - location wrong, picture undesirable, not a very good writer. After a month of pouring your heart out (as far as you are concerned) and getting nowhere, how often is a sub going to take the time to put the work in defining himself to every Domme that may or may not show any interest whatsoever? In the first email? And does a Domme want to read every subbies War and Peace Epci in the first response?
Well maybe the answer is not mass mailing and chasing 50 of them at a time but focussing on one or two. If they are local, it might be easier as you can see if they are interested in meeting at an event (I’m one to talk as I rarely go to events but this works for many). I turn down a great deal of the boys who write to me. Then again, I haven’t turned them all down. What I find funny is that the majority of the local men that I met on a.com, b.com or c.com tell me that they didn’t email many women, mainly because they didn’t like most of the profiles they saw – in essence, they were very picky.
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Parting thought...
"Ummm, I know you're the hottest cheerleader on the squad and you're dating the quarterback, but I really need to go out with you anyway, I'd do anything for you, wear your panties whatever. Speak up louder? Then everyone will hear me and laugh - maybe even you..."
Toran
Oh fun! I need to get myself a stud boy to play the quarterback in my next scene… Cuck the geek boy!! Woo hoo.
- LA
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