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Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/6/2008 4:42:41 PM

fit2pleaseu

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Firstly apolagies for such long post..this is actually a continuation of a post i had earlier and the feedback i attained has taken this fantasy of mine to this stage.
I have a punishment fantasy which i have been thinking about on and off for a very long time more than 10 years and now that i am in a D/s relationship it seems that i have the chance to experience this first hand.
I have spoken about this with my Mistress and she is keen to help me to experience this in a punishment session as she enjoys corporal punishment.
Without boring you all its a session but played out as real punishment i am to be restrained and to caned till the punishment is finished in full.
We have decided mutually on not having a safeword as then it will be as close to punishment as can be for a session.
Mistress has been having short c/p sessions with me to get a good indication of what i can take and where my limits are etc.
Mistress has also been keeping a record of my misdemeanors for the purpose of using as the punishment.
Only Mistress and i will be present and she is looking for a venue to carry out the session i will not be gagged or blindfolded for saftey reasons as she wants to be able to keep a close handle on how i am dealing with the session.
The punishment will be delivered in sets of 6 like the english style and i will be required to thank her only after each set.
What i am interested in are any Mistresses or others ideas or thoughts on what can be done to add some extra spice or interest to this session either for myself or Mistress and am i correct to approach this session with the mindset that this is real punishment?
Any thoughts appreciated.
fit2

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/6/2008 8:35:16 PM

RoughFN

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quote:

We have decided mutually on not having a safeword

Please please please don't do this.

Don't get me wrong, I know that it's awesome and erotic and incredibly scary to not use a safeword and that it adds to the play, but I always think they should be used.

On the plus side, the headspace can be something. I've played without safewords exactly once and only once for a total of one minute. The sub I was with agreed to try it and she said later it was very intense. Now, I actually intentionally went a little more softly on her than I would have otherwise since I wanted to ensure that she wouldn't need the safeword, but she said that it was extreme and scary for her.

Spent the first half of it freaking out that I would absolutely wail on her, while simultaneously trying to calm herself down with the knowledge that I know what I'm doing and wouldn't actually hurt her severely. She finally calmed down and started to really enjoy being completely helpless, but then we were done.

So it was a lot of fun. But it's not something I'm going to repeat.

I view the safeword as an emergency escape hatch in case something goes wrong and that's how it should be used. It shouldn't be used to limit the severity of a session, it should never be used to top from the bottom, but it should be used as an escape. Personally, I find it more freeing - the slave is freed up to scream for me to stop and beg for mercy as much as she wants and can really get into the scene deeply and I don't need to worry about whether or not I'm actually going too far and need to stop. If something goes wrong, she can always use her safeword. So it's also a way for me to relax. Of course, you always need to monitor the slave to ensure she's still fine, but I at least know she can let me know if something goes wrong.

Look at it this way - what if you're tied up and suddenly realize you can't breathe? What if that last strike landed wrong and you suddenly feel something deep in your stomach throbbing that doesn't normally throb? What if you're having an allergic reaction to the ginger root? You have to be able to get out of it immediately and stop things.

I also think of it in terms of a trust issue. If the slave and I trust each other to the point of being willing to play without safewords, then I have to trust her that she won't call her safeword unless something really went wrong. If she was just trying to limit punishment in the scene or top from the bottom, she should admit it afterwords and be dealt with even more severely for doing it.

So don't think of it as a way to reduce the scene, think of it as an emergency measure.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/6/2008 8:52:24 PM

MisPandora

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Concerning no safewords. We've beaten up this topic 101 times. If you have an established relationship, know one another well, understand each others limits.....go for it.

As for the detailed scripting that it seems you wish to do for your mistress -- I'm not personally turned on by a sub scripting my play out to that detail and find myself more successful with having an idea of what things are on his mind and then me rolling forward. It keeps him more unprepared and more unbalanced, therefore, dependent on me for direction. But, my opinion really doesn't matter. If it works for you both, again -- go for it.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/6/2008 9:19:05 PM

Jasmyn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RoughFN
Look at it this way - what if you're tied up and suddenly realize you can't breathe? What if that last strike landed wrong and you suddenly feel something deep in your stomach throbbing that doesn't normally throb? What if you're having an allergic reaction to the ginger root? You have to be able to get out of it immediately and stop things.

I use "mercy" even when playing with subs who don't wish to use a safeword. It's not an exact science as everything else about the scene and the sub comes into play as well ...but generally ... "mercy" is their not so free get out of jail card...

For the examples you gave I tell subs they need to state what their problem is like it is ie "I feel like I'm going to faint" or whatever is... otherwise it's play related and they may indicate with a "mercy", they are reaching or nearing their limit of whatever we are doing at the time.

< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 1/6/2008 9:20:05 PM >

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/7/2008 12:17:12 AM

fit2pleaseu

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RoughFN....thankyou for your thoughts on the safeword.
I thought i had that side of things all sorted and comfortable in my head but i have to admit im taking a deep breath and going over this issue again.
I know 100% that if there was to be a gag used then a safe signal would be a definate because of the fear of a choke etc.
But i do agree with your thoughts about a safeword actually being piece of mind for the top as then she doesnt have to worry about me kicking or crying out with a safeword in place.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/7/2008 12:32:05 AM

fit2pleaseu

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MisPandora
i do not want to be a sub who wants or tries to top from the bottom and what you are saying sounds like i may be having a bit too much say in this session?
Im actually a little aware of that...i was asked to detail a fantasy for my Domme originally and she wanted to know pretty much everything about this once i gave her my basic thoughts.
I have explained also that i expected my desires to be moulded to suit her thoughts and how she wanted to carry out this session but i think she is quite happy with most of my original fantasy and here we are.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/7/2008 1:10:46 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fit2pleaseu
...i was asked to detail a fantasy for my Domme originally and she wanted to know pretty much everything about this once i gave her my basic thoughts.

Exploring your fantasies in detail is not an uncommon experiment, and this one probably appealed to her. Personally, I like it when people have a rich inner life; I feel no obligation to live up to all of a person's preconceived ideals or make all their submissive fantasies come true, but diving into them occasionally is fun. Good toys to play with.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/7/2008 6:52:49 AM

pixelslave

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Other than what the others have said regarding still having a safeword should something go wrong, it's your fantasy, so it's really difficult to advise you on what else you might want to include. We don't know your hot buttons or what it is that you really want to get from the session. I think only you can answer that and give your Mistress the input she needs to plan the session for you; giving it the surprise factor and added intensity to make it hot for both of you that I suspect you may be looking for.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/7/2008 1:40:05 PM

fit2pleaseu

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Hey thanks for all of your thoughts i appreciate all the input.
As i stated i have had second thoughts on the safeword and after discussing it again with my Mistress again we have decided to use a safeword for this session.
The reason being saftey but also we feel it means Mistress can carry out the punishment a lot more freely and hopefully this will make the session flow better and more enjoyable for her also.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/8/2008 4:28:40 PM

GoddessTeaze

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I wouldn't want to know all the things that your Miss could or could not do , as an extra ontop of your fantasy...(if I was you)
What fun is that?

I believe the element of suprice..
is the biggest mindfuck of 'm all

I agree with the safeword, and am happy to read Yyou've made an agreement out of that.

Will you tell Uus how it was to have this fantasy fullfilled?
will be nice to hear.

B safe

GoddezzT`

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/8/2008 6:27:40 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fit2pleaseu

am i correct to approach this session with the mindset that this is real punishment?
Any thoughts appreciated.
fit2

Others will zone in to other details but this one jumped out at me.

It won't be real punishment. It is a scene.

Real punishment isn't fun for either person, it isn't a test of your manliness or her sadism. It is a sign that attitude or behavior has gotten so far from the expected that correction is required.

Why pretend that it is something it's not?

Why not just see this as a great scene where your limits are pushed or a con-noncon scene?

For me, Ds and Ms relationships are serious matters and I take punishments in them very seriously. If I punish Fox or a trainee it, it sucks for both of us. But we can have a jolly good time with SM and not pretend its something else. I, for one, never want to send my property the incorrect information or risk him or me confusing correction with fun, punishment with pleasure. I worry that it will negatively impact both to confuse them.

So my advice is to just have fun with them.

OR if you must add in the "thrill" of "punishment" role-play so you can fully act out a scenario where your character needs to correction from her character. I think that will limit potential confusion.

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RE: Turning a fantasy into realityl - 1/8/2008 7:28:44 PM

fit2pleaseu

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Thankyou for the continued input thetammyjo i believe it was you suggesting that i tell her about this fantasy in an earlier post that has allowed us to have a scene like this.
And to GoddessTeaze i will definately place a post letting you know how much fun we both had!
adrian

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