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A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 5:58:05 PM   
bigbuxombabe


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I am listed as under consideration though I am not sure I am?? I was found by a couple who appears to have interest in me but I'm not sure how much.. I don't want to assume anything and end up feeling like a dumb azz but I also do not want to think to little of it and then they think ooh she's not serious... I don't desire any others at this point and though its not very serious yet, it has the potential to be quite serious... Whats should I do? How to go about this??? LOL 

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 6:03:11 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		 
Ask them, not us.

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 6:04:50 PM   
bigbuxombabe


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'm just so worried its over stepping??

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 6:06:33 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		ASK THEM, it is not over stepping anything

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 6:08:40 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bigbuxombabe

I'm just so worried its over stepping??


Where are you "listed" as under consideration?
It seems to me that the people listing you without your knowledge may be the ones overstepping here.
Is it me?

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 6:14:53 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bigbuxombabe

I'm just so worried its over stepping??


 
Over-stepping what? If you don’t ask questions of the ones involved how do you expect to find out what they are thinking or expecting?  Would you be willing to have a relationship with some one you met in a bar or at a party without getting to know them first? 
You have a brain, use it like you do in the other parts of your life.


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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 6:32:32 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Simple, ask the couple how serious their interest is. The best way to clear any assumptions is to ask when you have questions. Being a sub does not mean we ignore the fact we are able to think and question what we don't understand. Do yourself a favor and ask the couple what you are asking us, only they can tell you for sure.

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 8:25:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		She wants to be wanted more than she wants a serious relationship. She's more afraid of rejection than she is of losing her sense of self.

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 8:27:46 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Why would someone put you under consideration without telling you?  That makes no sense.

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/6/2008 9:37:39 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Katie ,I think she put herself "under consideration"....:0)....IMO, to the OP..rather than say "under consideration"...you could simply have nothing written or put a smiley face on the written portion of your profile..or even state "not seeking for the moment"..something along those lines....Tempting

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/7/2008 4:42:04 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		People here get really bent out of shape over using the words "under consideration".   I find it truly amazing considering how often many talk about being open minded about kinks but a using a couple words tends to bring out worst  snarky remarks and close mindedness , I have used it myself as a way of letting others know that I am not available right now until I am more comfortable/sure about the relationship I'm involved in,  but if you don't want to have to deal with the fallout from others over using the words "under consideration"   your probably best just doing as Tempting is suggesting and state your not seeking at this time

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/7/2008 5:07:21 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Katie ,I think she put herself "under consideration"....

Probably not a good idea to speak for the other parties like that. It's possible they don't like having their decisions made for them and being spoken for that way.
Then there's the possibility that they dont know she's talking about being under consideration by them. With such sketchy communication, what's to keep them from thinking she's met someone else? Or at least becoming a little bit confused, which never killed anybody but it would certainly be better to get off on the good communication foot as opposed to the confusion foot.


quote:

:0)....IMO, to the OP..rather than say "under consideration"...you could simply have nothing written or put a smiley face on the written portion of your profile..or even state "not seeking for the moment"..something along those lines....Tempting


Or just not done anything to your profile. One's profile certainly does not define ones existence. It is a reflection of what you want to tell people about yourself. That can be done in a number of ways and under a number of timelines. We don't have to broadcast to the cm community every time we take a shine to someone.


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/7/2008 6:09:00 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		like what the others have echoed repeatedly - talk to them.  you're in this situation with the potential couple not us because we don't have a clue ...only you.  

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RE: A Couple Questions.. - 1/7/2008 7:40:37 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		bigbuxombabe, I won't be so presumptuous as to act like I know what you want. What I can tell you is as others have said, if you don't learn to speak up and ask questions you'll never get anywhere. Also, anyone who tells you that simply asking a question makes you not "subly" is full of shit 

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