hejira92 -> RE: Journals? (1/7/2008 2:01:25 PM)
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When I first met Master, I started writing down my feelings because they were so strong and overwhelming, I had to write to clarify it for myself. After a bit, I realized I needed to show Him because I was much clearer in writing. In His eternal quest of everything that goes on in my mind, He decided I would write Him every night we were not together. It's been about 21 months now and like someone mentioned before, my entries have changed. My feelings are not jumbled, I understand my submission so much better and our love has matured and stabilized. I find myself writing mundane things as often as I write my longings, feelings and thoughts of us. But Master still requires it of me because sometimes when I start writing, and think I have nothing to say, these things will start spilling out of me- sometimes dark desires I had not identified before, sometimes issues concerning me that I had not acknowledged. He sees the journal as another tool to see into me and, therefore, control me more completely. He may or may not respond to my nightly musings. If I ask about something specific, He usually will tell me His reaction, but not always. Sometimes I think it a hassle, but as He is a non-micro-manager, it is one of the few things required of me daily, so I have no problem (as if I had a say, anyway. Ha!).
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