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my ex and i are still friends - 1/7/2008 2:10:20 AM   
cindyxdresser


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/8/2007
From: Tulsa ,Oklahoma
Status: offline 		I just got home from visiting my exgirlfriend,even though we split up we are still good friends.I love going to visit her and her new boyfriend,they are totally cool with me comming over totally enfemme,she still does my makeup for me

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Cindy Cole
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RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/7/2008 6:26:56 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Good for you Cindy

I still hang with two of my ex's (one relationship was one year, the other was seven years).

The latter has asked my kid and I to attend his wedding in the spring. They are both good people and good to us. He is not my kid's natural father yet still buys his clothes and pays for other extras. Me, I am waiting to have a new washer and dryer to be delivered (my dryer died, washer is fine so not sure why he got me one).

Anyhoo, I don't know why some cannot still be friends with ex's.  Most men I know talk badly about their ex's.  I distrust that, if 4/5 or 5/5 ex's were that horrible I wonder if the blame-shift is just that. I find it suspicious. If and when I snatch a decent guy, eventually he meets my ex's at social events. Yet some men fear us running into his ex (as though he is afraid I might find her 'nice) lol. If I find a relationship is going nowhere, I don't bother with introductions, I fear mostly the embarasment of da ex mentioning after the breakup 'whaaaaaat were you thinking???'

So again, good for you. It takes a lot of class and maturity to maintain a close and unstressed relationship as such.

kudos.

< Message edited by came4U -- 1/7/2008 6:31:15 PM >

(in reply to cindyxdresser)
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RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/7/2008 7:21:21 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		"All my ex's live in Texas..."
I just broke up with a vanilla woman because she's a, "far left liberal" and didn't like me excercising my second amendment rights.

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(in reply to cindyxdresser)
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RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/7/2008 9:21:39 PM   
tinoketsheli


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline 		i just broke up with my ex two or three days ago and I wanted him stay my friend to help me get over it and still have him apart of my life. But he wont - I honestly think it has to do with maturity... can you be man enough to stand by your girl even if you two do not share the title anymore?

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/7/2008 9:29:30 PM   
gothicdiva


Posts: 111
Joined: 2/16/2005
Status: offline 		Tino...You say that it was you who initiated the breakup with your boyfriend.  Perhaps mentally he is not in a place where he's able to be "just friends" with you.  Then again, some men prefer "clean breaks" and prefer to sever all contact.  Give him some time and space...perhaps he's hurting and still "in love" with you.  Maybe in the future, a friendship will ensue between the two of you.  It may or may not have anything to do with his maturity level.  However, if he does not choose to be friends, don't penalize or chastize him for it.  Some people are just not able to remain friends with their exes for various reasons. I've actually read arguments as to why it's good NOT to do so for some people on various relationship sites.  For those that can remain close friends, I applaud you.  Personally, I don't see why ex-lovers can't stay friends if they had a loving and healthy relationship.        

< Message edited by gothicdiva -- 1/7/2008 9:30:12 PM >

(in reply to tinoketsheli)
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RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/7/2008 10:42:38 PM   
tinoketsheli


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline 		very true... I am still very emotional about the whole thing - and yes I did break it off. He was in the wrong though and that we both agree on, but I asked him after we had broken up if he would mind if I tried to keep in contact with him... he refused, and I understand your reasons for it, I just feel hurt because he has remained friends with many of his other ex's. So I wonder why will he not grant me the same privledge?

And let me ask another question - this could be a whole new thread - and I am sorry if it is. Hours after we had broken up he changed his profile from saying he was with someone to "searching again". So like a day after we broke up I changed mine to something like - "I am only here to make friends, I am not interested in a relationship right now unless you can live up to greatness". I ended up getting a lot of really nasty e-mails so I changed my profile to a normal one describing that I am looking - and then next thing I know my ex has deleted his whole profile because he cannot be able to look at mine. I feel like that is unfair... I am a bit hurt by it - am I over reacting here?

(in reply to gothicdiva)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/7/2008 11:13:38 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		      I have ex'es at both extremes.  One is now one of my oldest, and dearest friends.  Given the eleven different kinds of hell we put each other through back then, we shouldn't even have been able to speak the others name without years of therapy.

    It doesn't happen as immediately as some posters fantasize.  Break-ups require that you actually stop seeing each other and talking on the phone every day.

    Another has tried staying in touch, and I've been politely clear that I'm not interested.  When you decide you want someone out of your life, keeping them on the Christmas card list seems foolish. 

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That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to cindyxdresser)
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RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 2:41:13 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		The same applies to me also, TH. My ex hubby and I were good friends prior to marrying, we soon found marriage turned our friendship into something alien and we behaved in ways towards one another that would have most people taking up arms! Yet, once we sat down and determined the only solution for us was divorce we focused on resuming the friendship that should never have been interrupted. Several years later, we still love each other dearly and we'll remain in one another's lives always. Infact, he has spent most Christmases with myself and my family! He has since met (twice now) my new partner, they get along very well and have a firm respect for one another.

I also remain on good terms with other exes, although there are a couple of exceptions and I feel only euthanasia for them will resolve anything.


(in reply to TheHeretic)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 3:16:49 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		my last dominant and i get along very well and email a few times a week just to say hi and share jokes, etc.  my ex husband (of 7 years), and i tolerate each other at school functions and ball games for my youngest...we can occasionally find something to laugh together about, especally his latest gf who thinks that i had saved her life in a past life, (twilight zone music inserted here).   but my son will be 18 in a few months so i will have to tolerate my ex even less....praise the lord and pass the ketchup!

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 3:20:17 AM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

"All my ex's live in Texas..."
I just broke up with a vanilla woman because she's a, "far left liberal" and didn't like me excercising my second amendment rights.


My mom lives in Texas... when she moved there, my dad was rather amused, since my mother is the only "ex," he has... oh, I guess it would make sense to say that his amusement was due to that song.

I'm pretty liberal by most peoples standards (personally I think I'm just controversial :D) , by the way... and my husband's rifle is (unloaded!) in the closet that is four yards from me... and he's a soldier... and... hmmm, well, I guess love is just blind, huh? :P

And, to get back to the REAL topic at hand... I am still friends with almost every guy I've ever had a serious relationship with...  minus one who was Gorean and didn't like me very much after I decided that it wasn't for me. I wasn't with him that long anyway, though. I've talked to the only two guys I've ever had a year or longer relationship with for at least an hour each over the last month. They still ask me for advice on the girls they are dating, computers and electronics they are contemplating getting, and what to do about that pesky co-worker who won't stop flirting with them even though they have made it clear that while not a homophobe they are entirely uninterested in men... Tehe. I admit my advice on that last one probably isn't what they want to hear (something along the lines of, "give it a try, you might just like it"), but I am sure they only ask me because they want a laugh.




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"If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless."

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RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 3:48:31 AM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		I have three exes and have not maintained a friendship with any of them. I'm the type who needs a clean break, and a fresh start, and can't have either while trying to maintain a friendship with an ex.

Once it's over, I walk away, and don't look back.

(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 7:06:20 AM   
SeraphimsPhoto


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not an all-or-nothing kind of guy. I am friendly to some of my exes, completly ignore another and have nothing but animosity towards the last. 

(in reply to subrob1967)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 7:14:43 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		When I get done loving a woman it is:

Send lawyers, guns, and money......................


Ron

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 7:29:03 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		My former ex spouses are clean breaks, one of my former Doms I still talk to from time to time but we knew going into the relationship it would be temporary so no nasty break up

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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

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RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 7:44:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		The ex's that are still living, I get along with fine.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 8:24:25 AM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		i can be in the same room with anyone that i had a relationship, without World WarIII breaking out.

may we all find our bliss,
everhope

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 10:13:36 AM   
tinoketsheli


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline 		so how do you deal with a break up with someone who is less mature than you are? Like someone who sends you messages every other days saying "I miss you so much" etc. and when you reply back he says - "I have asked you before dont ever e-mail me again"... Is it best to just not reply at all? The angry bitch in me wants to give him a piece of my mind about this whole thing...

(in reply to everhope)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 10:47:40 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Why are you replying then? As long as you give them the attention they crave, they will keep it up. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to tinoketsheli)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 7:57:23 PM   
QuietlySeeking


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		There are some ex's with whom I am a close friend; some call every now and again; some I've never heard since the day we split.

tinoketsheli: Don't play his game.  Leave him alone.  Take the time for both of you to heal.  Perhaps someday you two will be able to be friends...but neither one of you seems like you are in a place to be friends.

(in reply to tinoketsheli)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: my ex and i are still friends - 1/8/2008 8:51:31 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

 can you be man enough to stand by your girl even if you two do not share the title anymore?

Ummm wouldn't that make you NOT his girl to stand by? Sounds to me like you want your cake and to eat it too.

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Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to tinoketsheli)
Profile   Post #: 20
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