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RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 1:08:53 PM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

To pth and subtee - I just wanted to comment on what you both just wrote.
I am like everhope and assisted in munches.  I have been contacted or been put in contact with people who wanted to attend the munch and have had coffee or lunch with them - sometimes a handfull of times before they even attended a munch.  Munches are for the most part in completely public places, not a club or private party.  No one has to know you are new or never attended one before unless you specifically tell people.  The information you part with is down to you.  That's what meeters and greeters are for.
 
the.dark.

 
No disrespect intended by my last comment reg how i'd feel at the Munches.  It's just my mindset ANYWHERE i go alone. Just something i HATE to do :(

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
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(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 1:27:12 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		No disrespect thought of PTH!  I know munches can be daunting.  And I also know they aren;t for everyone and that some can be very - can't think of the word - closed?  Just depends if you get along with the 'hosts' hey.
Hey - you know, you could start ya own!
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 1:29:47 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		p
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

To pth and subtee - I just wanted to comment on what you both just wrote.
I am like everhope and assisted in munches.  I have been contacted or been put in contact with people who wanted to attend the munch and have had coffee or lunch with them - sometimes a handfull of times before they even attended a munch.  Munches are for the most part in completely public places, not a club or private party.  No one has to know you are new or never attended one before unless you specifically tell people.  The information you part with is down to you.  That's what meeters and greeters are for.
 
the.dark.

 
I respect that you've done that for others; however, just as bondage or pain or kneeling may not be for everyone, munches and other public activities aren't for everyone either.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 1:36:02 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

I respect that you've done that for others; however, just as bondage or pain or kneeling may not be for everyone, munches and other public activities aren't for everyone either.


I dunno - I am pretty sure I probably scared some people off too...
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 1:43:05 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Okay, i'm sure i'm going to come off as  a complete bitch here...but......having said that.......
pth, there comes a point where it's best for a person to sit down, take the cotton out of their ears and put it into their mouths (or in this case fingers)...i'm really not trying to attack you here. But, the reality of all of Your cumulative posts is that you need to spend some serious time getting to know you, and becoming comfortable with you before you enter another relationship. Perhaps it's time for you to look at exactly what it is about you that would attract a cheating, lying, maniuplative dom....But again, like Cali (who's references frankly i'd trust if i were into that sort of thing) could just be me....Take it for what it's worth...


_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 1:44:55 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

I respect that you've done that for others; however, just as bondage or pain or kneeling may not be for everyone, munches and other public activities aren't for everyone either.


I can refer you to someone about that

Jeff

I dunno - I am pretty sure I probably scared some people off too...
 
the.dark.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 3:39:31 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		My personal advice would be, if you want a refferral ask a former sub- NEVER ask friends-they only know the outer persona and  say good things they have no idea how a sub is treated behind closed doors. My mistake was listening to the friends

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 1/7/2008 3:40:22 PM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 3:45:36 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I can refer you to someone about that

Jeff


Will they write one?  I kinda have a paperwork fetish.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 4:59:57 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Okay, i'm sure i'm going to come off as  a complete bitch here...but......having said that.......
pth, there comes a point where it's best for a person to sit down, take the cotton out of their ears and put it into their mouths (or in this case fingers)...i'm really not trying to attack you here. But, the reality of all of Your cumulative posts is that you need to spend some serious time getting to know you, and becoming comfortable with you before you enter another relationship. Perhaps it's time for you to look at exactly what it is about you that would attract a cheating, lying, maniuplative dom....But again, like Cali (who's references frankly i'd trust if i were into that sort of thing) could just be me....Take it for what it's worth...



pth,
i am jumping on board with Kalista here...take a little break and regroup. Learn from the failed relationship you just got out of ...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 5:10:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Being someone lucky enough to be born and raised and active in the DC/MD/VA scene until not too terribly long ago, I can assure you that whoever you get a good referral for, I could get at least five others who say he's a piece of shit.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 5:16:25 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

 If i had rec'd a referral from someone on this board that has a "good reputation"


Good reputation?  Who? What? Where?  Okay, I gotta ask the masses... what's my reputation??

Cali



eh.. your a decent broad....

even though your mean to me and wont let me come to thanksgiving.. *sticks out her tounge*

*gigles*

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 5:20:21 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

I relate to how you feel hotty, I'm not into going to the local stuff alone. I know I can contact the board and/or organizers. I also know that the first meeting(s) would be far too much for me. I'm just not into being put on a platter and fed to people I don't know, metaphorically speaking.

If I had a Dom/partner and he took me, I could be okay with it. Until then, or perhaps not even then, I'll not be attending. It's not for everyone.


EXACTLY!!  i'd feel like i'm in a fishbowl/everyone's looking at me, sizing me up, "Let's see how far we can push the fresh fish" and noone there to watch out for my welfare :(  Damn, i hate being on my own again. i feel like f**king screaming but i think i'll cry instead :((


Of course there will be someone there to watch out for your welfare. In fact, the person with the best idea of what hurts you, makes you happy and is best for you will be there: YOU

Sorry to sound like a cheesy line but it's the truth. It takes time to fit into a new social group, but that is the same regardless if you start attending church functions or BDSM munches. Attend the groups that meet publicly, at resturants and the like. I know there is tons of stuff going on in DC - go out and have some fun!

PS. Don't go drunk since you mentioned liquid courage.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 5:22:02 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

I respect that you've done that for others; however, just as bondage or pain or kneeling may not be for everyone, munches and other public activities aren't for everyone either.


Understandable. But just like you don't win the lottery without buying a ticket, you don't find a partner without going out and meeting some people. Munches are a good way to meet people, make friends and those friends might know some people who aren't big into munches either but are a single dom looking for a sub.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 5:48:46 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd

even though your mean to me and wont let me come to thanksgiving.. *sticks out her tounge*


Okay fine, Gwyn, please please please join me for Thanksgiving and help me baste shaved... bird... and stuff their... cavities... with onions and other aromatics.

Cali
(who thinks she might need a shower now... bird innuendo - hard limit)


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Gwynvyd)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/7/2008 7:17:41 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Okay, i'm sure i'm going to come off as  a complete bitch here...but......having said that.......
pth, there comes a point where it's best for a person to sit down, take the cotton out of their ears and put it into their mouths (or in this case fingers)...i'm really not trying to attack you here. But, the reality of all of Your cumulative posts is that you need to spend some serious time getting to know you, and becoming comfortable with you before you enter another relationship. Perhaps it's time for you to look at exactly what it is about you that would attract a cheating, lying, maniuplative dom....But again, like Cali (who's references frankly i'd trust if i were into that sort of thing) could just be me....Take it for what it's worth...



pth,
i am jumping on board with Kalista here...take a little break and regroup. Learn from the failed relationship you just got out of ...


Haveta say I've been reading the forums like crazy over the last couple weeks or so, and these two are quite right. I hope you realize that they, and I, have your best interest at heart.
Don't talk to others about sex or toys, love or commitment until you can commit to yourself.
I wish you the best.

~Christina

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/8/2008 1:56:22 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		People can tell you if someone is generally safe. Sometimes.

The rest you need to find out for yourself.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/8/2008 4:48:51 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Being someone lucky enough to be born and raised and active in the DC/MD/VA scene until not too terribly long ago, I can assure you that whoever you get a good referral for, I could get at least five others who say he's a piece of shit.

Bingo. And that is true anywhere in the world.

As Dark said

referrels are useless in my opinion

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Referrals anyone? - 1/8/2008 5:26:17 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Okay, i'm sure i'm going to come off as  a complete bitch here...but......having said that.......
pth, there comes a point where it's best for a person to sit down, take the cotton out of their ears and put it into their mouths (or in this case fingers)...i'm really not trying to attack you here. But, the reality of all of Your cumulative posts is that you need to spend some serious time getting to know you, and becoming comfortable with you before you enter another relationship. Perhaps it's time for you to look at exactly what it is about you that would attract a cheating, lying, maniuplative dom....But again, like Cali (who's references frankly i'd trust if i were into that sort of thing) could just be me....Take it for what it's worth...



pth,
i am jumping on board with Kalista here...take a little break and regroup. Learn from the failed relationship you just got out of ...


Haveta say I've been reading the forums like crazy over the last couple weeks or so, and these two are quite right. I hope you realize that they, and I, have your best interest at heart.
Don't talk to others about sex or toys, love or commitment until you can commit to yourself.
I wish you the best.

~Christina


To all of the above....no offense taken at all!  i do relish constructive criticism coupled w/worthy advise and you have provided both.  You're absolutely right, i should just take a break/regroup rather than jump in head first to a possibly empty pool.  It's just that i was "alone" for 3 years before he came along so i guess that's why i latched on/grabbed whatever morsel he deemed fit to throw me.  Oh well, at least THIS TIME i'll have the new toys to play with instead of just my hands

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 38
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