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Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/24/2005 1:21:51 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		How many here have to display pure vanilla attire, actions, behaviour and conversations in their workplace? I was thinking about it today as I was looking around my office and realizing how other's would view me.....if they only knew the lifestyle that I practice. I mingle with some of my colleagues, but we only talk about sports and their families and mine and I don't dare bring BDSM into the conversation. Why? Because these folks are PURE VANILLA and would not have a clue or an inkling of what the lifestyle is. They have already sterotyped it and there is no changing them. Also, it's a well paying white collar job and I would like to keep it.....atleast for now.
I know many who post here have occupations where they can be who they are 24/7 because of the environment that they work in and that's really cool and I envy you, but how many can't?

Enquiring Doms want to know.

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/24/2005 2:01:34 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I don't have to. I think I could if I did have to, though. It would be difficult, but necessity makes you do funny things.

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"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/24/2005 2:08:34 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		But how many of us can say that our coworkers/friends would look at us and say "These guys are pure vanilla"?

I'm not normal and never could be, but rarely do people suspect I'm into kink or wild sex. I've got very much the cute-sweet-girl thing going on and it's not what people would assume.

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/24/2005 2:23:57 PM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		LoL, I'm with ya Fastlane.

At work I wear dockers and polos, and am considered the typical nice but kinda geeky guy. Heck none of my tattoos even show, there is no way I am talking about BDsM to a coworker in this conservative of a corporate climate. My lifestyle interests were one of the reasons I declined to date a very nice woman here. If things didn't work out I didn't want my predilictions to be grist for the very effective rumor mill.

The corporate grapevine hints that a woman in this office might actully be kinky (according to comments she made on a night out withthe gals), but I don't even bring up WIIWD to her. It's a great job, with decent $ and I would like to keep it for a while longer.

On the other hand outside of work, my kid brother knows as do my 2 or 3 best friends and their wives/girlfriends. There is an occasional giggle whenever something remotely kinky comes up and they all look at me, but otherwise I have had no troubles there.

Nuke }:-

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/24/2005 4:07:54 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Nuke....cool, I know you can relate and it's why I always decline me co-worker's trying to hook me up too!
E.S. shiat.....no way you come across sweet and innocent... Do you?

If so, my new nick name for you is cameleon....you must blend very well..LOL!

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 12:14:46 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		When it comes to the work place I just show inititiave to work and get the job done right. Yes I dress and act professionaly. I'm in the medical field. But I also act out my role. Dr's are responsible for this and Nurses are responsible for that. The last thing a work place needs is more indians than chiefs.

Any how, my personal life is my business. I'm at work for money.
Perahaps that's why I like working in Physical Therapy the most. PT really stands for Pain and Tourture. A physical therapist is really as Physical Terrorist. Oh how I miss the days of telling someone with a brand new Knee Replacement "Good Morning, I'm _____. I understand you have a brand new knee so walking shouldn't be a problem for you today."

Any how, unless I bump into a co worker at a munch/event, why risk having everyone talk about you behind your back? I'm not at work to tell people all my activities or to be the center of attention. The less they know the better off I am and the less I know about them the less drama I see myself having to listen to.

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 12:58:07 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

How many here have to display pure vanilla attire, actions, behaviour and conversations in their workplace? I was thinking about it today as I was looking around my office and realizing how other's would view me.....if they only knew the lifestyle that I practice. I mingle with some of my colleagues, but we only talk about sports and their families and mine and I don't dare bring BDSM into the conversation. Why? Because these folks are PURE VANILLA and would not have a clue or an inkling of what the lifestyle is. They have already sterotyped it and there is no changing them. Also, it's a well paying white collar job and I would like to keep it.....atleast for now.
I know many who post here have occupations where they can be who they are 24/7 because of the environment that they work in and that's really cool and I envy you, but how many can't?

Enquiring Doms want to know.



Once I get the wetsuit off, my style of dress is reminiscent of Nash Bridges. And eventhough I’m self-employed, my livelihood is heavily dependent on folks who go to bed every night with a picture of Jerry Falwell hanging over their fireplace mantel. So out of fear of being ostracized, everything is vanilla for me. I never disclose my interest in the kinky-lifestyle to anyone outside of the on-line subculture.


- The Ranger


< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 8/25/2005 2:23:59 AM >

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"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 5:36:02 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Because these folks are PURE VANILLA and would not have a clue or an inkling of what the lifestyle is.



How can you be sure that they are all Vanilla?? Maybe they put on a show that they are because they too are hiding. You never know.

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perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 5:39:44 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

.
Perahaps that's why I like working in Physical Therapy the most. PT really stands for Pain and Tourture. A physical therapist is really as Physical Terrorist. Oh how I miss the days of telling someone with a brand new Knee Replacement "Good Morning, I'm _____. I understand you have a brand new knee so walking shouldn't be a problem for you today."



Hey Fangs. I have had to deal with your kind!!! I just loved it when they came in after I crushed my legs and said "you and do it". Made me want to kick them in special places(if I could have kicked!)


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perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 7:24:52 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perfection20005


quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Because these folks are PURE VANILLA and would not have a clue or an inkling of what the lifestyle is.



How can you be sure that they are all Vanilla?? Maybe they put on a show that they are because they too are hiding. You never know.


One of the things I talk about in Loving Dominant is a thing called "Pluralistic Ignorance" that is where people share an idea or desire but, because of societal norms, are prevented from sharing it and so think they are the only ones what hold that idea or desire.

A non-sexual illustration is the old Soviet Union. When things loosened up enough so people could talk relatively freely. Somebody, somewhere, stood up and said "I fucking hate this system" probably expecting to be stoned. Instead there was a chorus of "You DO; so do I." And the damn thing fell apart.

[grin] Ok stand up and say "I'm kinky" and see what happens.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!



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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 7:50:04 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Since my career has nothing to do with WIITWD, I do not see how mentioning my interests would be appropriate. It would be no more appropriate then say someone going on and on about their religious or political preferences, which I find also to be in bad taste.

I share with my collegues because after spending so much time working together, you do share *some* personal things. I do however feel that when you get to close to people that you work with, you lose the objective edge required to do a professional job.

I will also add that because I don't see myself as part of any community or lifestyle, what I do is simply what I do. I don't feel I need to come out as anything. And as for thinking that everyone else around you is so very vanilla, you'd be so very, very surprised the kinds of kinks and fetishes your co-workers just might have.

- LA

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 8:00:36 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
One of the things I talk about in Loving Dominant is a thing called "Pluralistic Ignorance" that is where people share an idea or desire but, because of societal norms, are prevented from sharing it and so think they are the only ones what hold that idea or desire.


That is most definitely an interesting way to put it. I've always thought that everyone was at the very least a little bit kinky and that a lot of the kinkiness was being repressed.

Now by the same token, for many, the fact that their desires are clandestine and naughty is a great part of the turn on. Bringing it all into the light of day might make it less desirable. Kind of like how it might be hotter to spot a garter belt under a conservative librarian's skirt then blatantly showing from a whore's way too short skirt. Then again, it might not be for all. Kinks differ ;)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 8:58:06 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

But how many of us can say that our coworkers/friends would look at us and say "These guys are pure vanilla"?

I'm not normal and never could be, but rarely do people suspect I'm into kink or wild sex. I've got very much the cute-sweet-girl thing going on and it's not what people would assume.



Me to. It;s kinda fun, b/c we're given a great deal of leway in conversation at work, so I enjoy seeing people's expressions when I have some peice of knowledge abuot "deviant" sexual practices. Or when I accidentally said I wasn't allowed to get more tattoos.



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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 9:04:51 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		One more thing fast lane. Not many ppl that I've ever worked with have ever talked about there sex life. In that case alone, why would you feel the need to talk about what goes on in your bedroom? It's a not needed topic. Surely the work environment is busy enough to keep the conversation from comming up. Were you talking about your sex life before you started BDSM at work? Now that you're into the life styyle, why would you want to bring it up now?

Any how, just becasue you are the Dom of your house, dose not make you the Dom of your boss, customers, and every co worker. It's just an idea to think about before you start cracking a whip at work.

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/25/2005 9:12:03 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Hey Fangs. I have had to deal with your kind!!! I just loved it when they came in after I crushed my legs and said "you and do it". Made me want to kick them in special places(if I could have kicked!)


"No pain no gain" Ben Franklin

In the rehab world we what's known as "Doing Bad Things in the name of Good." Didn't you love it how rehab came in your room with a smile? Just remember that someone has to do the dirty work. These days, most doctors just have to write orders and "POOF" they think there pin made it magickly happen as if it where a magic wond filled with ink. If it wasn't for you local Physical Terrorist, you may still today not be able to do all the things you can do now.

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/26/2005 5:39:41 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

How many here have to display pure vanilla attire, actions, behaviour and conversations in their workplace? I was thinking about it today as I was looking around my office and realizing how other's would view me.....if they only knew the lifestyle that I practice. I mingle with some of my colleagues, but we only talk about sports and their families and mine and I don't dare bring BDSM into the conversation. Why? Because these folks are PURE VANILLA and would not have a clue or an inkling of what the lifestyle is. They have already sterotyped it and there is no changing them. Also, it's a well paying white collar job and I would like to keep it.....atleast for now.
I know many who post here have occupations where they can be who they are 24/7 because of the environment that they work in and that's really cool and I envy you, but how many can't?

Enquiring Doms want to know.

fsstlane


True, the "vanilla people" You work with may have strong feelings about BDSM, but it's also possible some have never heard about it -- i did not until jan'04. Whether or not there is a bias, there simply is no place in a work environment to discuss sexual practices; any complaint from a listener and You'd be facing a "sexual harrassment" charge.

i cannot imagine wanting my coworkers to know about my love life. However, a Dom is always a Dom, and i am sure You hold a leadership position in the eyes of your coworkers and supervisors.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/26/2005 5:41:07 AM >

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RE: Pass me a vanilla...I mean Manilla envelope - 8/26/2005 5:49:12 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
One of the things I talk about in Loving Dominant is a thing called "Pluralistic Ignorance" that is where people share an idea or desire but, because of societal norms, are prevented from sharing it and so think they are the only ones what hold that idea or desire.

quote:

That is most definitely an interesting way to put it. I've always thought that everyone was at the very least a little bit kinky and that a lot of the kinkiness was being repressed.

Now by the same token, for many, the fact that their desires are clandestine and naughty is a great part of the turn on. Bringing it all into the light of day might make it less desirable. Kind of like how it might be hotter to spot a garter belt under a conservative librarian's skirt then blatantly showing from a whore's way too short skirt. Then again, it might not be for all. Kinks differ ;)

- LA


My vanilla girlfriends know -- and are curious as hell -- but not my vanilla men friends. It would be inappropriate to discuss my love life with them, regardless. My family has no idea, although to some i'm already the "black sheep", so it's not their respect i'm clinging to; i just don't care to listen to their inevitable uproar.

pinkpleasures

p.s. i agree with LadyAngelika; You never know what people You work with are into -- which is how it should be -- but You'd sure be shocked to know. i have gay friends who are "in the closet" even at this point in their lives, in part to avoid loss of employment.

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/26/2005 5:50:46 AM >

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