Most Amusing Random Emails

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Most Amusing Random Emails

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Most Amusing Random Emails

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/24/2005 3:14:41 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

OK so we've all occasionally brought up some real winners of emails from strangers who feel the need to try and insult us or somehow suggest we're wrong or bad.

I generally think it's bad taste to take what's private into public, but I'm suggesting no names and no suggestions of repercussions here. I simply want to read some hysterical bad random emails from strangers.

What brought this on? Since I've been on collarme, of course I too will get some of these emails. Every few months or so I will get an email from a totally unknown person on collarme, whose profile has been deleted by the time I read it. Despite being different names, I know it's the same person because they always try to insult me the same way- by going on about how my posts on the boards are so repetitive and vapid and then make a mention of how my clothes are cheap bad stuff from Walmart.

Of course I DO shop at Walmart and have found some really awesome stuff there, though none of the pictures I have on this board show me wearing any of it. I was just amazed today to find yet another email hit and run. What provokes people to CREATE a screen name, JUST to send out emails like that to specific people and then delete their accounts?

So really what I want is just to hear the crazy insults random strangers will hurl at you from the cyberworld.

Post #: 1

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 5:32:04 AM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

I get the same thing Emerald. I too think its from the same person, new profile though. It takes about 2-3 weeks for another email, but I always know its coming!!

I've been told that I was a cheap piece of trash that didn't need to have my profile on here!

Needless to say, I didn't listen

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 2

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 6:09:14 AM

sabis

Posts: 136
Joined: 6/29/2005
From: Midwest, USA
Status: offline

quote:

Of course I DO shop at Walmart and have found some really awesome stuff there, though none of the pictures I have on this board show me wearing any of it.

Heck yes, there's great stuff to be had at Walmart! I have an ensemble I wear to local munches that is put together with items from Wallyworld (a pair of sheer white pants sold as swimsuit 'coverup'), a Fredericks of Hollywood bustier with the cups cut out, and a sheer fishnet top I picked up from Trashy Lingerie in LA. I get compliments every time. :-)

I've received all of one unsolicited peice of mail since I joined - and I'm fairly sure it was a mass emailing, so I can't comment on that element of your post.

- sabis

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 3

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 7:56:37 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I haven't gotten an insulting email yet. I have gotten three that tell me that they're very well off and can give me things that my current Master can't.

I've gotten 5 that tell me that my Master is unfair by not allowing me to play with men, even though I've explained to them that I'm basically a lesbian with heterosexual tendencies.

I've gotten 3 from male subs which confuses me since I'm neither a Domme or looking for a male.

And I've gotten a bunch from some wonderfully friendly people and some very sexy women.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sabis)

Post #: 4

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 8:32:31 AM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

Yeah, I think we all get some doosies. I love the dual personality guy that's a tv producer on one of his profiles and a professional chef under the other. To top it off, he not only emails me here, but he emails me on another site and forgot he emailed me here first. It really amuses me it's oh so very entertaining. I ain't made at the playa, sometimes its fun just to play along.

Rosa

PS, I'll have to look through some of my old emails for the insulting ones. I usually get things like nice tits. LOL annoying and amusing at the same time.

< Message edited by RosaB -- 8/25/2005 8:38:13 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 5

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 8:54:12 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

(Edited to fix weird spacing thrown in by c&p-ing Sorry about that)

Ok, so I like stringing out irritating e-mail correspondance. As such, I have some pretty impressive collections of them.

This is -long- but it amused me, so heck, I bug y'all with it.

I admit to liking to string peoplea long and it makes for interesting conversations. Please note it was totally unsolicited.

The little preface this set of mails needs is this--it is from Alt. I have the same profile on Alt as I do here, with all the same information. (Do please excuse the lack of caps in my writing. I was younger and lazy.) Formating is exactly as recieved.

Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
> hey girl, how you doing?

~*~

Sender: perverseangelic
To: XXXXXX
>
> hello, nice to meet you.

~*~

Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>your profile is not uninteresting.
I like your responsible, sincere, thoughtful approach.
Like I said, I will need more information about you.

~*~

Sender: perverseangelic
To: XXXXXX
>
> i admit, i'm a little bit confused. more information about me for what?

~*~

Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>"i'm a little bit confused."
dont worry about it. just forget it. are you often confused?

you do possess, as a slave - and as such, you are not and cannot be aware of it, a distinct charm, inner and outer beauty, which makes you very appealing, satisfying, desirable, worth owning and dealing with a slavegirl. - on a serious basis.

I do sense, though, that lately, you started perhaps denying to your-self who and what you really are. You are not acting according to your own desires! HOW can you be honest with others, when you are fighting with yourself?

I do not like that.

As for you being masochist/accepting and dealing well with pain.

You need to realize that pain, tormenting at the hand of your caring Owner goes tightly bound together with lovemaking, intense erotic pleasure and satisfying your Master. You need to be able also to gracefully satisfy, not only take the pain - any whore could be trained to do that you silly.

Do not hide your limits before your Master.

Give me your phone number. Also your chat info.

I expect you to be serious, intelligent, clean professional. That is what I offer, girl.

~*~

Sender: perverseangelic
To: XXXXXX

(I didn't save this e-mail, because I thought it would be last contact. Usually these types of e-mails end conversation. Basically I responded to the bits of what he said. This is an approximation--)

"you do possess, as a slave - and as such, you are not and cannot be aware of it, a distinct charm, inner and outer beauty, which makes you very appealing, satisfying, desirable, worth owning and dealing with a slavegirl."

why thank you.

"I do sense, though, that lately, you started perhaps denying to your-self who and what you really are. You are not acting according to your own desires! HOW can you be honest with others, when you are fighting with yourself? "

this couldn't be further from the truth. maybe this was so in high school, but in the past few years i have come to like myself more than i thought possible. i've done a great deal of self exploration and have come to a pretty good understanding of self.

"As for you being masochist/accepting and dealing well with pain.
You need to realize that pain, tormenting at the hand of your caring Owner goes tightly bound together with lovemaking, intense erotic pleasure and satisfying your Master."

you seem to have mised the point. i -enjoy- the pain. also, i think that lovemaking/pain going together is very much personal. with one of my parnters, pain and sex are completely seperate. sure, anyone can be trained to take pain, but i draw pleasure from pain itself.

"Do not hide your limits before your Master."

i never do.

"Give me your phone number. Also your chat info."

i don't give my phone number out over the internet. [i gave him my yahoo chat stuff]

~*~

Sender:XXXXXX
To:perverseangelic
>
>you3 do25 possess a distinct charm, inner and outer beauty, which makes you very appealing, satisfying, desirable person to be with.
====================================
write the text above down bellow, 3 times in a row.

type it up, dont cheat by copying.

remember, I will know if you cheated.

you will sum number of letters of each word after each word, and sum it with previous sum, as shown in an example... is that clear!?

you will be dressed in a miniskirt and a tshirt while do this.

I warn you not make mistakes. Not a single one.

Write a full report immediately after you finish.

~*~

Sender: perverseangelic
To: XXXXXX
>
>what the heck? that has to be the oddest e-mail i've ever received. on par with chain letters

~*~

Sender: XXXXXX
To:perverseangelic
>
> calm down. what is your name?

~*~

Sender: perverseangelic
To: XXXXXX
>
>why does your profile say you're submissive? are you a switch? please explain. and when will you be giving me -your- yahoo im handle, as i've given you mine.

~*~

Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>who gave you permission to speak? much less to ask questions!?
do you have problems following directions?

~*~

Sender: perverseangelic
To:XXXXXX
>
>do YOU have permision to give me orders? i've told you already that i serve someone else, and as far as i'm aware they haven't given you authorization to order me around.

do correct me if i'm wrong, of course. but i'm pretty sure i'd know about it.

~*~

Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>no.. i do not have permission to give you orders.
... hmm ... you just inspiried me, thats what it is ....

permission to give you orders, if that would not become implicit from our conversation, i would want from you. only from you. you deal with the rest ...

you just inspiring me, thats all ...
/// looks like you gonna dominate me now .. hm!

surprise! late evening surprise.
...
tomorrows Bee headlines! - "Young charming intelligent girl dominated over tall athletic male twice her age, dulled by just 1 beer!"

~*~

Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>why havent you finished the task I gave you? it made me sad .... you kind of disrespected me

~*~

Sender: perverseangelic
To: XXXXXX
>
>"why havent you finished the task I gave you? it made me sad .... you kind of disrespected me."\

again, i'm sorry if i was unclear, but i serve another person. as the property of a dominant individiual (my partner/owner) i am not only under no obligation to complete tasks for you but to do so would be to profoundly disrespect my owners.

> even as a free submissive, i would be under no such obligation, had i not agreed to be yours, which i have not. untill i have turned controll over to someone else, there is no reason to be obediant to them. i do not exchange power with someone i do not know.

> "no.. i do not have permission to give you orders.
> ... hmm ... you just inspiried me, thats what it is ....
> permission to give you orders, if that would not become implicit from our conversation, i would want from you. only from you. you deal with the rest ..."

per my owner's intstructions, anyone interested in playing with me must be approved by him. that person must contact him and he will make the decition. however, again, we are -not- looking to expand our parntership right now. we're content as it is.

i am not interested in breaking collar with my owner, and i don't know why you'd want a girl who would run out on her commitments. i've promised obedience, and that what he will get.

re: yahoo messanger
> google for yahoo messanger and it will dirrect you to a site that you can download it from. it's a pretty small file, easy download and regestration process.
>
> ~s

~*~

Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>ok ..ok ..im the bad one here, right? ... thats ok.
you are right in what you saying. its true.

however, if you read your own profile with all remarks, youd know i was *completely and *perfectly in line. agree?
you are right, you are currently under obligations ...
and to carry them properly if obligated is the right way.
//////
you dont exchange control with people you dont know. ok, i like that.

///right ... if you were a free submissive and havent agreed to be mine, havent solemnly agreed to turn over to me erotic and sexual rights to you, so as ownership of you, - which in itself is a beautiful ritual of love and devotion -so if you were a free submissive, you would be, though, under clear obligation to let yourself be explored and questioned by an interested Dominant, your potential future owner.

/this doesnt involve physical exploration, in person interrogation or preliminary handling of a slave./

and i think you did just that. exactly that..and you correctly guessed the border you can go no further, staged a mini mutiny when you felt you need to stand up for your rigts and obligations, to keep in line with your current situation. ////// you did just let yourself be explored, in a pleasing, commesurate manner, without shamelessly flaunting and advertising your physical attributes, skills..////

I do appreciate that. you are exactly who i thought you were ....

regarding your position and your situation, your performance tonight was flawless and appealing. in a most general sense.

you managed well to protect your dignity tonight ...

again that only goes back to what i said about you in that sentence in the beginning ....

~*~
Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>.."per my master's intstructions, anyone interested in playing with me must be approved by him or my mistress" ....

I am NOT INTERESTED in PLAYING with you. My interests go deeper. Into substance, seeking, trying to reach the truth, the reality, the fantasy.

I am also not interested in joining any community around you. Either you are mine, belong to me, or not.

Any future possible or not arrangements as for sharing you with others, I would make, and only I.

If I told you to make love to a fellow submissive girl you found somewhere on the street, you would do it,and only then.

If I told you you would whip her, you would do that as well.

~*~
Sender: XXXXXX
To: perverseangelic
>
>stephanie, Im going to bed.
Good night, baby. Sweet dreams.

~*~
Sender: perversenagelic
To: some dude
"I am NOT INTERESTED in PLAYING with you. My interests go deeper"

i'm sorry, i should have been clearer. by play i meant interact with in a sexual way.

"I am also not interested in joining any community around you. Either you are mine, belong to me, or not."

i am polyamourous. while i am currently in a monogamous relationship it is likely that we will always at least tacitly be invovled with multiple parters, thus -any- relationship with me will most likely be in 'a community' because of this, i seek out other polyamourous or polytolerant parnters.

"Any future possible or not arrangements as for sharing you with others, I would make, and only I."

that is, of course, an owner's right.

"If I told you to make love to a fellow submissive girl you found somewhere on the street, you would do it,and only then."

this is, of course, another reason i will not serve you. i do not believe in non-consensually invovling someone else in my dynamic. and no, i'm not talking about the other submissive.

~~~~~~~~~

He contacted me on yahoo IM after that, turned out he'd nevera actually -done- any of this stuff, but had read a lot on Castle Realm. He got bored when he realized I wouldn't cyber, asked me to be his Mistress, then dropped off the face of the earth.

I don't know when I became "stefanie" except that i sign all my e-mails with "~s" I didn't even bother to address that bit.

Told you it was long.

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 8/25/2005 9:27:08 AM >

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to RosaB)

Post #: 6

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 8:58:00 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Gurrl, don't even get me started on those; fortunately mine come much less frequently (as I jinx myself). M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 7

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 9:20:55 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

I don't get many e-mails here and almost all are very nice. However, once I got one from a woman who noticed in my profile that I'm not interested in someone who smokes, so she must have thought I would be interested in reading her rant against anti-smokers. This person wasn't a hit-and-run emailer as described above, but she is on her 3rd multiple personality for posting on the boards.

Although I found that note to be obnoxious, I suppose it is rather hysterical that folks can be so self-absorbed and socially inept that they decide to strike up a conversation by sending rants against an issue the other supports and essentially insult the other in the process. Unbelievable!

< Message edited by happypervert -- 8/25/2005 9:22:19 AM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 8

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 9:35:06 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

What provokes people to CREATE a screen name, JUST to send out emails like that to specific people and then delete their accounts?
So really what I want is just to hear the crazy insults random strangers will hurl at you from the cyberworld.

Some people don't have a life. Others are underage and are trying to get away with being there childish selves. You never know who might be confind to a chair for the rest of there lives and just have nothing better to do. It's odd for this sort of trolling to go on. It's odd to find that someone is able to get off to it. Any how, these could be from ppl of other countries who just don't like our first world ways and blaming us for all there problems. There actions on the net are ways to try and degrade our selves and be brought down to there level in depression and such. Some people are just darn jealous of you and don't like what you have one darn bit. If you can't be up to a persons standards, then bring them down with you.

As for the dosen't make sense JERK, they will die sooner or later as a lonely and bitter person.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 9

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 9:58:00 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

I can't quote specific emails but my all time favourite is the twit who emails me already sounding all hot and bothered in the first sentence of the first email. The email contains the usual BS like "you look hot in that corset" or "you make my loins quiver" blah, blah, blah. When I reply with my standard "Thanks but I'm not looking right now" the retort is "You're too fat anyway, where do you get off being so picky?" I'm fat? Well no sh!t, Sherlock. Why did you email me in the first place then? I guess the mythical desperate-enough-to-poke-a-goat fat girl must be out there somewhere LOL

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 10

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 1:23:04 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I have recieved several from submissives who have requested my tuteledge for their servitude. However, I'm surprised they have computer's in Ghana?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 11

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 2:05:36 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

I love Walmart. I thought only middle schoolers made fun of where other people bought their clothes.

I get not so nice e-mail all the time. Just another reason, I almost never answer e-mails.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 12

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 2:25:51 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Any of the many that beth gets regularly begging for her to be their Domme. Guess they can only see her in the picture as well as not have the ability to read. But our favorite was the VERY persistent one who wouldn't relent until beth sent him some instruction for C&B torture. (As punishment for bothering her - of course!)

I instructed her to tell me to slam his privates in a car door. That got him to stop emailing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 13

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 5:30:26 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I will be right back, I have extremely important and astounding information to share with you all but I have to see if I can grab the nick WALMART on this site just to fuck with sensitive people.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 14

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/25/2005 10:36:01 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

I used to receive solicitations from all the money-girls, but that subsided a few months back. LMAO!

As far as Wal-Mart... Sure I shop there once in a great while, but I much prefer American made goods, especially when it comes to clothing. Not to mention, I'm not a big fan of contributing to China's ominous military industrial complex.

- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 15

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/26/2005 5:55:03 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

But our favorite was the VERY persistent one who wouldn't relent until beth sent him some instruction for C&B torture. (As punishment for bothering her - of course!)

I instructed her to tell me to slam his privates in a car door. That got him to stop emailing.

I think he stoped emailing because he lost his capacity to type after the gave the car door a try. Mabye his hand were caught in the door. I'm sure after he regains his self awarness he'll come back to say "Thankyou, may I please have another?"

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 16

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/28/2005 1:25:36 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

It wasn't rude but it was kind of amusing, this dominant* I use the term lightly* in florida emailed me with just the single word dud

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 17

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/28/2005 3:08:55 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I'ver had two, both of which were both insulting and ignorant.. My reply? I scanned various choce passages from "The Origin and Development of Psychoanalysis" by Sigmund Freud and posted them in the return emails...

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 18

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/28/2005 9:53:12 AM

tedibare

Posts: 54
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

i did not keep this e-mail(i felt no reason to) but it WAS only this last week here on CM.... i received one email from an individual whos whole message was "sender has unsent this message" now that wouldnt be that weird, but i logged on, read that message and 2 others(all unsolicited) and went about checking the message board, now i will often take time to think about an email before responding to it, so i hadnt answered the other two yet... when i go to answer the other two, this person who had unsent me a message comes off with "slaps your rude ass you slut" or some such to which i respond excuse you??? he proceeds to try to ream me up one side and down the other about some message he says he sent welcoming me to the board and about i how i was so rude to not respond...

so i let him know that i received no such message, and perhaps he sent it to someone else on accident, in addition that he had no right to "touch" me... then he almost immediately sent back another saying how he KNOWS i received it cause CM shows it opened(i still have not recieved this message) and about how since we are writing email he didnt actually touch me and i should just chill out about it and wake up and how im a cunt(gawd)... so i tell him i still have no idea what hes talking about and how he still has no right to touch me cyber or rl... and then i slap him on block sender and go on with my merry way... so he decides to send me more abusive emails under a DIFFERENT nick... lol blocked that one too... i swear unsolicited email from some full-of-himself individual who thinks im gonna fall right in line.... btw is there anyway to be on here invisable? lol

tedi

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 19

RE: Most Amusing Random Emails - 8/28/2005 9:56:14 AM

tedibare

Posts: 54
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I love Walmart. I thought only middle schoolers made fun of where other people bought their clothes.

I get not so nice e-mail all the time. Just another reason, I almost never answer e-mails.

lol i wish... my ex-boss and her cronies do that... so glad i moved to another department

i would feel bad not answering email... lol tho it can take me a bit of time to do so..

tedi

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Most Amusing Random Emails

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094