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Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/7/2008 6:33:14 PM

Shawn1066

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A lot has been written about submissives who, after a bit of prodding from their Dominants, find out that they really enjoy things they used to consider limits. This is because they were open-minded enough to step outside of their normal comfort zones in an effort to please thier respective owners.

I don't think I've ever seen a thread discussing how Dominants have reevaluated their limits(Or tastes, as it were) after meeting a certain submissive. Or perhaps in an effort to make a special fantasy of a signifigant other come true... I'm sure it's happened, and I think it'd be interesting to hear about and discuss.

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/7/2008 7:38:55 PM

Jasmyn

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I was recently turned on to needle play after watching a friend have some done. In the past I had participated in scenes where subs were pierced, poked and prodded ....but as a top, never actually got into needles myself. It wasn't a scene, the bottom was having the needles put in for a corset lacing later that evening and I was there purely as her driver. Watching the needles go in, her reactions, there was just something that went ping ...now I think they are yum and will hopefully get to use them myself sometime soon.

I've been turned on to sissies by a couple of men I've met and consequently played with, as well as cuckolding and chastity play.

Female submissive, have changed my limits there after playing with a number of women professionally. I didn't think I would ever want a female sub but am finding that is slowly changing and am seriously contemplating it.

Bi-sexuality in my male partner was a limit but was changed after my first B&D partner came out as bi.

Playing with others outside a D/s relationship changed to yes.

Caning. An impromptu caning/training scene at a play party with an experienced caning bottom made me wet.

I don't think I set many limits when I first began exploring B&D, SM, D/s, M/s etc as a Top/Dom as I figure seeing what was out there is going to be half the fun ...

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/7/2008 8:36:57 PM

Reigna

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For me, BDSM is an exploration. My partners and I influence each other, mutually expanding each other's boundaries as we go. I can't imagine it any other way. Specifics? My sub's a cane slut. Canes always were a mild interest of mine, but now I can just about sate his appetite for the cane. Sometimes a bit more.

And, while I've always thought piercings were hot, I never thought of doing them myself until he asked me to. Turns out I may need another sub, just to have fresh places to poke holes.

< Message edited by Reigna -- 1/7/2008 8:46:14 PM >

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/7/2008 10:11:23 PM

AAkasha

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Because so much of the pleasure I get from power exchange is wrapped up in reactions, this is certainly true for me. I have a core set of kinks that will always be fetishes for me (bondage is the main one), but a lot of other activities I enjoy simply because they are powerful ways to draw certain emotions or reactions. Depending on a how a submissive is wired, those might vary, so I have found myself doing things I never thought I would enjoy.

Thinking about it, I believe that's how many of my newer kinks evolved. Trial and error to experiment getting a man into the place I wanted him to be, then realizing the act itself was hotter than I ever imagined.

Akasha

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/7/2008 10:14:29 PM

ShaktiSama

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I am more cautious and squeamish about some things than others. But one thing I have learned about myself is that there are very few lines I cannot cross, if someone I love is standing on the other side of them.

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/7/2008 10:25:32 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Shawn1066, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Being in the lifestyle over 30+ years now; I am rather settled.

However, in the many years past I was always re-evaluating my limits. I am also certain that having a good batch of talented individuals around me, inspired different things however, I still find myself rather old fashioned.

The limits that I have are more physical limits rather than skill and or knowledge limits.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/8/2008 3:36:45 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

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In the beginning I had a lot of limits like bloodsports, watersports, age play, needleplay, caning, cross dressers, forced bi etc etc that I don't have any more

Some of the limits were sensible at the time because I did not know how to do them safely anyway. Over time, I learned how. Especially if my partner really loved it and I really loved him.

Also, meeting people in real life with those kinks and understanding why they loved them so much really opened my mind.

eg I loathed play rape (and denounced it as "really sick") until a rape survivor patiently explained to me why she loved it so much. Now I understand the cathartic benefits of that play (although it is still - frankly - beyond my skill level)

Over time, some wisdom and understanding has flowered. But it took a loooong time!!

Now I will try pretty much anything once. If the dynamic of the power exchange is hot, almost any play can be great fun (IMO)

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/8/2008 3:41:07 AM

PhoenixRed

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Great thread, Shawn! I don't have a lot of limits, therefore I have not yet had to re-evaluate them. Interests are a totally different thing though. I had my own coming into the lifestyle, but I have picked up a few more along the way, thanks to my boys. I tend to meld the interests of my subs with my own so we can both have the best experience possible. I didn't originally think that I'd enjoy things like having my pup just sitting at my feet with his head in my lap and giving him back scratchs would be as thoroughly enjoyable as it is to me now. Likewise, I didn't start out with a strong interest in those with a foot fetish, but I now appreciate having a warm human rug under my feet as I work. I'm also much more into humiliation and impact play than when I started out. I think we all evolve along the way. I always want to improve myself and my skills, and also to be able to create more intense experiences for my boys every time we meet. Even though it can sometimes involve a lot of planning and preparation, being able to make a special fantasy come true for one of mine... it's priceless.

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RE: Reevaluating Your Limits? - 1/8/2008 7:43:00 AM

thetammyjo

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I think everyone's interests and soft limits change over time. Perhaps some hard limits change too but I doubt all of them would especially if they are connected to one's ethical or moral code or physical issues or even legal concerns.

I don't do things that make me go "ick" or "yuck" -- in short I don't do things that are only negatives for me.

However if a slave (it has to be a slave for me, not just a trainee) has an interest in something that I'm neutral toward I'm happy to try it out. That is how we all learn after all.

By doing so I've discovered things that were more positive for me than I might have expected such as foot care and oral-foot worship.

Others things remain neutral such as mummification but I can then use those as rewards for my slave for months of good service or to say "Happy Birthday" or other moments.

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