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gender play - 8/24/2005 6:58:32 PM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		so, i've started talking with a potential submissive male. one of the things that really facinates me about him is his association with his own gender. now, he's not a sissy or wanting to play with forced fem. he is very male, and identifies himself as a man. but at the same time, is more comfortable with his femininity than his masculinity. it's almost as though he were spiritually hermaphoditic.

now, i can rather easily find all manner of information on sissification and feminization, and that's not really where i want to go with this. and neither does he. i'm more interested in masculinization and crossgender play. i'm trying to get ideas on how to play around with his obviously male outside, with his more female inside.

some of the ideas i have are: telling him that in certain rooms he will act like a man and in certain rooms he will act like a woman; vocalizations durring play (ie: "take it like a man" etc.); outfits that combine very masculine pieces with very feminine pieces.

but i wanted to see if any of you have ever experienced this kind of a male, or if you had any ideas of gender bending that were outside the box.

thanks in advance.
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RE: gender play - 8/24/2005 7:12:15 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Firefey...I am not a Mistres, but would like to answer you...is that permitted here?

BalletBob

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RE: gender play - 8/24/2005 7:56:58 PM   
MistressGrace07


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/29/2005
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		I have a couple subs like that... and you're right, I haven't seen a lot of articles written about this particular type of sub.

I'd love to delve into it more, because I think it's less rare than most might think.

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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 9:59:18 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

but i wanted to see if any of you have ever experienced this kind of a male, or if you had any ideas of gender bending that were outside the box.


I have indeed experienced this kind of male. Getting a man in touch with his masculine side is a huge kink of mine.

I have actually started 2 threads discussing this, and if you choose to read through them, you'll see the challenges that such a kink can present.
-forced masculinity (the title was tongue-in-cheek, responding to a lot of the forced feminization threads but obviously struck a chord with some, hence all the flames you might want to skip over)
- Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity (an annex to the first, trying to get to the real issues but that died quickly, I believe because of the energy that went into the first)

I'm happy to see this topic is back on the table. I'm looking forward to hearing other opinions on the topic.

- LA







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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 2:35:53 PM   
dominmd


Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		LadyAngelika, you are a most interesting woman. I am sure bumping into you and having a conversation would yield hours of thought.

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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 6:38:46 PM   
Euryanx


Posts: 96
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		Sometimes i wonder if women realize how much power they have over a man - as far as making him feel masculine or feminine. I've met women who have made me feel like an utter femmy girl, and others who have made me feel like a complete and utter stud.

As basic and stupid as it probably sounds - a man derives much of his self confidence and his masculine/feminine self image through his penis. Laugh at a man's penis, tell him that it's useless and that he could never possibly satisfy a woman - and it's as good as kneeing him in the groin.

Likewise, if you want to build up his masculinity, tell him how big it is, that he's the best lover, the biggest stud you've ever met. Men are gullible. They'll believe you hook line and sinker.

Another way to bring out the masculine side of a man, is to engage him in situations that make him feel protective. Most of the real men that i know, have a protective streak a mile wide. When i was living full-time as a woman, and would get into dangerous situations with men - my male friends came to my rescue on many occasions. It's instinctive with a lot of guys. Nothing makes them feel more masculine, or more chivalrous, than a damsel in distress. And nothing will make you admire him more, than when you see him leap to your defense.

Another way of masculinizing a man, is giving him a home repair project. Have him build you book shelves, change the oil in your car, or clean out your garage. He'll get dirty and grimy doing it, you'll love him for it, and he'll feel good about doing something for you that makes him feel strong.

Sports are another way of masculinizing a man. Ask him what he's good at. Baseball? Golf? Swimming? Ask him to join a volleyball team at the YMCA and then go watch him play. Compliment him when he does something well, and you'll pump up his masculine side in a very healthy way.

Anyway, those are just some random thoughts...

< Message edited by Euryanx -- 8/25/2005 6:40:10 PM >

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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 7:39:01 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd

LadyAngelika, you are a most interesting woman. I am sure bumping into you and having a conversation would yield hours of thought.

... and possibly a headache ;-)

Many thanks for the kind words.

- LA

_____________________________

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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 7:49:05 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Likewise, if you want to build up his masculinity, tell him how big it is, that he's the best lover, the biggest stud you've ever met. Men are gullible. They'll believe you hook line and sinker.


Actually, you have hit this right on the nose. I have met men who weren't necessarily 5-star lovers the first few times we were together. All they needed were a few pointers and whole lot more confidence. The best way to get a man to perform like a stud is to boost his confidence level by building him up. As much as I love humiliation play, as much as I love blowing up their little egos like a balloon and then holding on to the string.

Btw, thank you so much for the excellent suggestions Euryanx!! They are fabulous. They are things I did unconsciously but I see now how they contributed to the whole dynamic. I always call on boys to do home repair work, etc. I have my specialties but working with tools is not one of them. One of my favorite things is to distract repair men, like sitting on the counter top and letting a heel dangle as they are working on the pipes under the sink... <weg>.

- LA

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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 8:01:07 PM   
dominmd


Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Jeez I have always been protective of women, especially the ones I care about. Add doing bodyguard work (women only, men are too much trouble). And I then have a protective streak way bigger than a mile.

Seriously, women like men to compliment them all the time whenever possible. Men do to, we just don't really say it.


And LadyAngelika, who gets the headache me or you?

< Message edited by dominmd -- 8/25/2005 8:02:01 PM >

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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 8:20:05 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd
Seriously, women like men to compliment them all the time whenever possible. Men do to, we just don't really say it.


Exactly. The women who have figured this out have an advantage.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd
And LadyAngelika, who gets the headache me or you?

I was referring to you getting a headache... it was a little joke ;-)

- LA


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RE: gender play - 8/25/2005 11:31:19 PM   
subversiveone


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline 		ummmm.... does anyone have suggestions on bringing out the masculinity of a woman?

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RE: gender play - 8/26/2005 8:24:26 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

ummmm.... does anyone have suggestions on bringing out the masculinity of a woman?

Strap-on dildo? ;-) In all seriousness, I would say that I'm in touch with my masculine side, more on a mental level then on a physical level. Physically, I am such a girlie girl I could never do the masculine thing, but mentally, well I've been told by certain male friends that they feel I can relate to them because I have insight into how men think. Probably because I've gotten into so many of their minds ;-) As for how I got more in touch with my masculine side, I have to be honest in telling you that it has a whole lot more to do with socialisation and I would be hard pressed to tease all the influences out of my overall experience thus far.

I hope that CalliopePurple chimes in as she would have much to say about this I believe...

- LA

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RE: gender play - 10/7/2005 11:55:12 AM   
nikki4gurl


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline 		lol, as a male i dont care if a woman passes negative comments about my penis. Nor do i feel the urge to make referances to other guys about how i know how to satisify a woman with my cock or that...my cocks bigger than yours lol.If a woman isnt happy with my size, so what???.. its her problem.

Ive seen guys with smaller and bigger ones, and quite fankly if a guy feels belittled because a woman tells him his cock is too small, then that pathetic. I dont know why guys are so bothered about size.... its just such a laughable thing ' big tough man' sulks cuz woman says his too small or he needs to tell everyone about how good he is in bed and how big his is to hide his insecurities lol
As for feeling good cuz i do some DIY... i dont... anything i put my mind to in the house, in the garage i can fix, but so what. i dont feel like im special,important, or that im more of a man cuz i can change the oil and filter on a Fiesta!!.I dont associate getting oily and dirty as being good in some way, but more as a sign of being disorganised!!.
Its a stupid world sometimes in that men feel its important to proove that they can be helpful in DIY and build things. Well i think that the programmes on the tv like 'DIY SOS' go to show how crap men actuatly are at DIY.

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RE: gender play - 10/7/2005 12:09:02 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline 		Interesting thread.
I had tons of complains from my ex husband that I "think like a man". Funny enough, my present husband complains about it from time to time too. Either of them could not clarify what they mean by that, they just express it like some sort of flaw of mine.
I would really like to know what "thinking like a man" would be.

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RE: gender play - 10/7/2005 2:29:03 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Wait, LA requested my thoughts on the second question over a month ago and I just now caught interest in the thread? Geez, I'm lazy.

Bringing out the masculinity of a woman? Hmm... Take away all her makeup, give her just beer to drink, and get her into more relaxed, slightly gender-ambigous clothing. That would be the first things that come to mind here. I toy with my own by deliberately trying to make my voice lower, having a nearly shaved head, and occasionally adopting a male persona. When I'm "in character" as Micah, I try to mimic everything about being male. But I'm just strange like that.

If a person wants to explore and toy with gender, I think that's one of the best ways to really understand stereotypes and prejudices about what's expected. For example, I love the color purple. But Micah doesn't because he doesn't want people to assume he's gay (even though he's bi). I wish for sissymaidlola to come back and add his thoughts. They're more eloquent than my own.

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RE: gender play - 10/7/2005 5:30:50 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I would really like to know what "thinking like a man" would be.

==========

to THINK male is NOT to use emotion. you merely use deductive and inductive logic.
there is no getting excited and turning weepy in tears or getting on your high horse and become nagging./...you just state your case...clearly..precisely...exactly...and move on to the next project/idea on hand.
no--emotion. cold exacting pure logic.

most females use emotions and "female" logic...and science has NOT recognized "female logic" as actually existing.
nor is military intelligence.

its the fastest johnny on the spot way to describe males vs females...that i could come up with on a moment's notice.

woofie


< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 10/8/2005 8:51:11 AM >

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RE: gender play - 10/7/2005 5:42:09 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		ummmm.... does anyone have suggestions on bringing out the masculinity of a woman?
=======

bring out the male side of a lady? not ALL people HAVE a split side. many many males do NOT have a soft side. many females are just poofie type girlie girls.

and then SOME are just females that grew up as more tom-boy than poofie girl...some guys..like me..were taught to do female stereotype things MORE than guy things...SOOO i am more in touch with my female part than i am my actual male self.

if any..female..thinks..she might...maybe...have...a male side?...then explore it. pick up a hammer or a wrench and see if it feels natural to go work on the car or do some construction around the house, building some wood piece or metal shop or...whatever. i am sure..farm and fleet...or any other store will give any female inspiration.
just amble on in and browse around. does anything jump out at ya and say "hey buy me..."
painting? hammering? auto? lawn care? shrubs? pick SOMETHING!

lemme know L/ladies. i know "I" like being my poofie girlie side...a LOT...but so far Mistress wants me to stay as male as is possible. some time She says i CAN dress up but not for awhile.

good luck to ya All..

woofie

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RE: gender play - 10/7/2005 6:30:21 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey

so, i've started talking with a potential submissive male. one of the things that really facinates me about him is his association with his own gender. now, he's not a sissy or wanting to play with forced fem. he is very male, and identifies himself as a man. but at the same time, is more comfortable with his femininity than his masculinity. it's almost as though he were spiritually hermaphoditic.

now, i can rather easily find all manner of information on sissification and feminization, and that's not really where i want to go with this. and neither does he. i'm more interested in masculinization and crossgender play. i'm trying to get ideas on how to play around with his obviously male outside, with his more female inside.

some of the ideas i have are: telling him that in certain rooms he will act like a man and in certain rooms he will act like a woman; vocalizations durring play (ie: "take it like a man" etc.); outfits that combine very masculine pieces with very feminine pieces.

but i wanted to see if any of you have ever experienced this kind of a male, or if you had any ideas of gender bending that were outside the box.

thanks in advance.


My only question: How does he react to this idea of yours?

If he's alreaady feminine and comfortable with his masculinity, why try to separate or stress one or the other?

Why not be happy with how balanced he is?

Doesn't sound like he ascribes to any one gender idea so what is there to play with and why do you want to do it?

This may have sounded harsh -- sorry, wasn't the intention, I just don't understand your question really.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 10/7/2005 6:32:31 PM >

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