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Stephann -> RE: anyone who has an idea (1/8/2008 10:47:08 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mhawk
my Mistress encourages me to talk with others for adivce on some things seeing as Sheis very new to this.So in regards to that,that is why am am posting this here.
As of late i have been reminded by Her that She wants my full surrender and submission of mind,body,soul, ecetera.Most of which has not been a problem.
here is where it all plays in,last night was what She reffers to as a "stolen" night,had time for two flogging sessions.
seeing as such since then i have a huge sense of weakness mentally,physically,emotionally and spiritually. but yet i have no other way i can descibe this to Her than what i have just said here. i feel like She brought me to that next level of letting go of myself to Her ( if that makes sense to anyone), if that does make sense to anyone is this possibly what full surrendering to one's Mistress can be like?
i just feel as if everything i once was has become Hers.
Something doesn't jive with me here.
Are you sure she's trustworthy enough to give yourself this way? Why are you expected to give your all, when all she can give you is a stolen night? I know some people adore relationships where they are expected to give a great deal more of themselves than their partner, but I find such lopsided personal investment to be recipes for disaster.
If my 10 year old tells me "Go ahead, Dad, jump off the roof into my arms, I'll catch you" I know darn well not only would I be hurt, but I'd probably squash him. You need to honestly assess if you can, honestly, jump into her arms without crushing her, and breaking your back.
Sorry to be a wet blanket; real trust doesn't stem from the words "trust me" though. Better to learn the old fashioned way that she really is someone who wants you, for you, and not for an occasional chew toy.
Good luck,
Stephan
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