What constitutes a good Dominant? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

lusciouslips19 -> What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 6:39:49 PM)

We have heard many a complaining thread about Doms and subs. On a recent Ask a master Forum a thread was started"whats wrong we these slaves. yada. Lots of good replys.
Cali always cracks me up and she got me thinking...
quote:


Unless it was Jeffff or Ron or Les or Mutt or Merc or Firm or Leather or CD or Lam or Stephann or Gris ... well hells bells, any of the forum Studs.. uhhh... Hotties... uhh... Men, yeah, any of the forum MEN. Then we might just giggle instead. Cali


Why do we love these "studs so? In your mind what sets them apart from the rest? What are the characteristics of the good ones, in your mind? what do submissives look for when selecting a Dominant? LL



takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 6:48:49 PM)

For me is was that he was a gentleman first. He knew this was all knew to me and is taking it very slow with me. He takes time to explain everything to me and answers any questions i have with patience and understanding. We share a beautiful love together. A love i never thought i would ever know. His touch sets me on fire and the way he cares for me and takes care of me is just beyond my wildest dreams. Every day i thank God for him and i am so grateful that i have been given this gift. i think though that the best thing about him is that he is real and lives D/s and it's not a game to him. i have been so very blessed.



sexyred1 -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 6:53:29 PM)

I don't know, luscious. No one has yet to meet all my humanistic needs in one person. The best Dominant/sub relationship I had was very much lacking in the companionship area. The best companionship relationship was lacking in the Dom/sub area.

I don't honestly think the question should be what constitutes a good Dominant, but rather what constitutes a good companion, and one who complements you as a person, and then a submissive.

I will know if and when I run into that special person, if he exists.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 7:03:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I don't know, luscious. No one has yet to meet all my humanistic needs in one person. The best Dominant/sub relationship I had was very much lacking in the companionship area. The best companionship relationship was lacking in the Dom/sub area.

I don't honestly think the question should be what constitutes a good Dominant, but rather what constitutes a good companion, and one who complements you as a person, and then a submissive.

I will know if and when I run into that special person, if he exists.


For the most part I think it can. My BF/Dom. yes, I may occasionally want him to be less laid back and more controlling. he gets the final say so but so far he doesnt order me around or try to control me. But in the all around way, I feel lucky i have met someone that wants to play hard, but also wants to date me too and is a good companion. No one is going to be everything to you. But it is possible to get one to satisfy both needs and cravings. Its not easy and we definately need to keep our eyes open.



takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 7:21:58 PM)

it's nivce to see a ositive threaqd. i hope that more people post their happiness as you have. i wish you the best.



verysweet -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 7:23:25 PM)

quote:


In your mind what sets them apart from the rest?


Confidence.

I don't know what other submissives look for, but that--for me, anyway--is the first thing on my checklist.  And I'm lucky because he's got a boatload of it.






AquaticSub -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 7:30:49 PM)

Can I add CelticLord to the list? [:)]

For me, I like the men who are respectful and don't try to control submissives/slaves that aren't theirs or don't get upset when they aren't addressed by a title.



ksub4u -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 8:34:50 PM)

Interesting question.  I've come a long way in realizing what it was that I needed in my Dominant as I understood my needs and desires better. 

Intelligence.  Confidence.  Respect.  Honesty.  Understanding and compassion.  Gentleness when needed.  Understanding of himself and his needs and the ability to help me process mine.  Commitment.  Sense of humor.  Obviously a meeting of the minds when it comes to activities enjoyed, though that moved way down the list as I realized what it was that I needed from a Dom (a relationship than a scene or play partner). 

I don't think any one person can fulfill all our needs, which is why family and friends are vital in my life. 




LaMspeach -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 8:48:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
In your mind what sets them apart from the rest?


It is all in the curve.. [sm=banana.gif]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 8:57:02 PM)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_926661/mpage_1/key_characteristics/tm.htm#927025
most important virtues

http://www.collarchat.com/m_158262/mpage_1/key_dominant%252Ccharacteristics/tm.htm#158262
what is dominance?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81695/mpage_1/key_dom%252Ctraits/tm.htm#81695
What are the signs/traits of a good dom?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_176730/mpage_1/key_dom%252Ctraits/tm.htm#176730
"real doms"

http://www.collarchat.com/m_223089/mpage_1/key_dom%252Ctraits/tm.htm#223089
a submissives perspective

http://www.collarchat.com/m_257771/mpage_1/key_dom%252Ctraits/tm.htm#257771
what I look for in a good owner

http://www.collarchat.com/m_284665/mpage_1/key_dom%252Ctraits/tm.htm#284665
top ten characteristics I want in a dom?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_339652/mpage_1/key_dom%252Ctraits/tm.htm#339652
nature of dominance



fairerthanshe -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 9:00:26 PM)

Greetings LA,

It felt like home seeing your post - it has restored my faith in all that is good and right in this world...LA is sexy google again! saints be praised!

hugs and giggles girl ~ fairer



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 9:03:22 PM)

You flirt!  Good thing I'm taking a shower soon.



fairerthanshe -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 9:07:01 PM)

So if I stall for time and ask about a topic sure to make you find ten links or so...do I get to come join you? teehee...I'm a very naughty girl tonight!

hugs ~ fairer



CalifChick -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 10:23:40 PM)

FR ~~~~~

It's a little scary when somebody takes one of my smartass remarks seriously!  The list was not all-inclusive (and yes, CL should be there too, among others), it was a list of people that sprang to mind that are at times charming, endearing, smartasses, thoughtful, intelligent, etc., etc.  But I think it's a big leap to go from that "List of Studs" to "What Makes a Good Dominant."  That "List of Studs" (LoS for short) is a group of people that I don't necessarily know in real life, but would love to invite to a party, to sit around drinking, talking, laughing, playing cards... whatever.

Oh yes... pause to contemplate the "whatever"... <sigh>

Okay then, as I said, the LoS is not comprehensive, and as soon as I put it up I thought, "OMG, what was I thinking? I am going to leave somebody off the list and that dang edit button disappears all too quickly! Aaarrrgghhhh!!!".

Kisses to all the members of the LoS, and special kisses to the ones that were foiled via the edit button.

Cali



AquaticSub -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 10:31:22 PM)

It's ok. The Studs of CM are too studly to worry about being left off a list, I'm sure. [;)]



CalifChick -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/8/2008 11:01:41 PM)

I think we need a "Studs of CM" calendar.  Wooooohoooooooooo.

Cali



petpete -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/9/2008 12:49:34 AM)

Hey lus... we going to give them the hints? Let them crack there own heads to work it out... we can only watch our asses..[sm=idea.gif]



rubberpet -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/9/2008 4:09:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's ok. The Studs of CM are too studly to worry about being left off a list, I'm sure. [;)]


Exactly!  Since I wasn't mentioned, I'm not worried.  I know what I bring to the table. [;)]  As they say, I make that shit work! [sm=cool.gif]  ***Please excuse me as I roll around the floor laughing at that one***

As for the Studs of CM calender, I'll be happy to be Mr.February since my birthday is in February.  Gotta represent, ya know!  [:D]  LMAO  (Just kidding, Mistress...I won't be taking any pictures.  I don't want to break anyone's camera.)



lusciouslips19 -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/9/2008 4:15:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

Hey lus... we going to give them the hints? Let them crack there own heads to work it out... we can only watch our asses..[sm=idea.gif]


Sorry. Dont want to watch my ass. I want to watch there's![:D]



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? (1/9/2008 5:24:46 AM)

when i had a profile posted on aff (wrong place to do it), i was looking for a gentleman ...someone i could converse on any level about anything ....someone who would understand that i wasn't out looking for sex - i wanted to be treated special and like a lady. also i added i wasn't looking for a dominant since i was trying to get out of the kink side to me. well after 24hrs of joining - i had over 100 messages which i wound up deleting 99% of them. Daddy's profile and message stood out above all others. He perfectly understood what i was searching for and what i needed ...and the rest is history.

meeting my SO here was actually a fluke in itself because it happened the same way as it did with Daddy. with both of them, i instantly connected chatting about music to other interests/hobbies but never once did we discuss the kink until much later in the relationship. are they "good" dominants? that's not the right word to describe them - they're caring, loving and perfectly tailored to what i need.



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875