RE: Bad First Impression

RE: Bad First Impression (Full Version)

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belongtoyou -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/22/2004 8:56:49 AM)
i usually spell okay, unless i'm sleepy and/or tipsy. i will use spell check if i'm not sure of how something is spelled: what i find amusing is that spell check does not understand D/s type (punctuation). For example, when i refer to myself as i - (in lower case letters) spell check tells me i'm wrong! Perhaps there should be a special spell check for the bdsm websites that understands these nuances? (i know it's a big point of contention for a LOT of folks with the whole Y/you and I/i thing, but let's face it, some of us have already been trained to type that way). [:)] ~rain~

iwillserveu -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/22/2004 1:54:19 PM)
Feline, If anyone claims to be perfect they have too big a head, recommend an MRI.[:D] Oops, forgot the salutation. Don't want belongtoyou to wonder what perfection has to do with it?

belongtoyou -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/22/2004 4:49:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: iwillserveu Oops, forgot the salutation. Don't want belongtoyou to wonder what perfection has to do with it? huh?

iwillserveu -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/23/2004 3:17:30 PM)
I was replying to feline and didn't want you to go "huh?" I guess I failed.[:D] You just happened to be between me and the post I was replying to. BTW, Belongtoyou, nice new avatar. (Maybe it is me, but women in masks...[:D])

belongtoyou -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/26/2004 7:04:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Estring As everyone is aware, the fact is you communicate online by typing your thoughts on a keyboard for others to read. Since they can't see you or hear you, the only impression they get from you is how well you communicate with your words. It really cheapens whatever thought you may be trying to make when so many words are misspelled or sentences make no sense. In my opinion of course.[;)] Estring: And then there are those who are so rude and disrespectful that their words become an eyesore: which then goes beyond a bad first impression, to a absolute repulsion! i find it difficult not to respond sometimes, although i should know better. If i had learned anything from my training thus far, it should've been to ignore those who i do not care about, and appreciate advice and feedback of those i do; while never being rude or disrespectful. This last part has become my greatest challenge. Also, it would be nice if more folks took the time to read and re-read what they wrote, as there has been an increasing about of, for lack of a better term, "spam." Thanks for allowing me to get that off my chest! Cheers, ~rain~

Masterjvh -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/28/2004 2:24:59 AM)
it is interesting that we as Masters or Mistresses, are suppose to be polite to the one we are typing to. to begin with atleast, but for some reason slaves/subs. feel they have the right to say or speak any way they want to. those who do that are 'disrespecting' all those who have supposely trained them or are training them now. if they do have a owner that owner needs to handle that but if they haven't done it before these slaves/subs got on here i don't think or feel they can or have the ability to fix it.

iwillserveu -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/28/2004 5:40:14 AM)
quote: if they do have a owner that owner needs to handle that but if they haven't done it before these slaves/subs got on here i don't think or feel they can or have the ability to fix it I guess the submissive/slave must decide if it is broken. A Master / Mistress or Dom / Domme focusing on fixing that which is not broken is not desired by the submissive or the slave.[:)] (forgot the emoticon)

EStrict -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/28/2004 11:24:12 AM)
quote: it is interesting that we as Masters or Mistresses, are suppose to be polite to the one we are typing to. No, actually it would be you (generic) as people should be polite to those who have given you no cause to not be polite. This was something taught to most by their parents or their kindergarten teachers. quote: to begin with atleast, but for some reason slaves/subs. feel they have the right to say or speak any way they want to. those who do that are 'disrespecting' all those who have supposely trained them or are training them now. What does being a sub or slave have to do with this issue please? We are speaking of those who chose to not care if they appear able to have a rational, reasonable or intelligent conversation. As far as those who have trained me (as an example), well... you know how catholic nuns are. The drill into the importance of first impressions, of being able to express yourself, and the importance of having equal expectations of those you are speaking to. This isn't an issue of an occasional typo, or error. Online, your written word is the manner you chose to communicate. I know when I was seeking, I did have high expectations of the people I spoke to online. If someone doesn't posses even basic writing skills, then I do wonder if we would be able to have mature, intelligent conversations. After all, like it or not, in a long-term relationship if you can't communicate it is not going to work in most cases. quote: if they do have a owner that owner needs to handle that but if they haven't done it before these slaves/subs got on here i don't think or feel they can or have the ability to fix it. Handle what please? The fact that expectations of reasonable basic expression isn't feasible to some it seems? This is not an issue I need fixing on, thank you. Master would not be pleased if I became a yes girl to someone who identifies as a dominant by saying oohhh no it's fine that you don't know how to start a sentence with a capital, spell three letter words, use a comma, or make sense (again, generic you). He doesn't allow me to be a yes girl with him (though he does expect me knowing that not agreeing isn't the same as not doing what he wants), but honestly, he doesn't really care what I do or say on boards as long as I follow the rules of the board. And for that reason I do not join boards that allow male, female, or dominant supiority. In the art of conversation and debate (which is the goal of this forum), I do not believe myself to be beneath anyone.

MizSuz -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/28/2004 11:33:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EStrict And for that reason I do not join boards that allow male, female, or dominant supiority. In the art of conversation and debate (which is the goal of this forum), I do not believe myself to be beneath anyone. Bravo to you for being so clear on what you do and don't wish to participate in. I also agree with your statement that, in the art of conversation and debate, you do not believe yourself to be beneath anyone; but then, I think all are on equal footing anyway and which end of the whip you are on isn't really a factor in determining how to interact with someone. Not until both people have agreed to take specific roles with each other. I suppose it all comes down to personal preference. It's obvious that there are those who would wish a more formalized protocol in regards to D/s roles on the boards. Interestingly, many are the same people who do not espouse more careful writing styles. Is it my imagination or have you also noticed that, in general, those who prefer a more mindful writing style in written communications seem to have less expectations regarding D/s "roles" on the board? Curious.

MizSuz -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/28/2004 11:42:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feline Mine isn't usually a spelling or grammer problem. It's a typing problem. LOL Typing is not my forte. [;)] Unfortunately i always have this stronge desire to let someone know if they have misspelled something. i use to proof read for a past Dom of mine. [:)] For me the spelling and grammar thing is only at issue when it's inordinately difficult to understand the person's message; although I will also admit to being 'trained' to notice these things. I work with people who write all day long. It is considered common, professional courtesy to make suggestions, correct grammar and spelling, and present alternative viewpoints to both the content and the way the content is disseminated. It's also common professional courtesy to not take these things personally. It's about the end product not the egos along the way. So I tend to come from that place by force of habit.

iwillserveu -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/28/2004 5:05:56 PM)
Sandy, first off, sorry for the typos, I'm installing MSword later on a new computer. Second, bravo. You take the heat as the "unruly" sub for a while.[:D] ("Gee, How can she call her self a real sub when she actually thinks!"[:)] Yes, that was sarcasticly imitating some comments I think you are likely to get.)

MrKing -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/29/2004 1:49:48 PM)
I don't want make it seem as if I'm directing this at anyone. But we are talking of bad first impressions, so really, the only person I can speak of knowledgeably is me, and perhaps to a lesser degree, my own slave. This is about what makes me hit "next" on a post or person. For myself, when I see a long laundry list of things that I MUST do or must NOT do to be worthy of a sub's moment of time, I don't bother making the effort. Someone who needs to be that much in control is not the slave for me. I don't worry particularly about spelling and or grammar, save to one extent, whether it appears that they give a crap about making a good impression. If someone's spelling or grammar is bad, I like to know why. Certain habits of writing indicate certain things. Avoiding the use of a personal pronoun. Not capping. the Y/you convention. I process language as if it were spoken - which means phonetic misspellings don't bother me. But Y/you comes across as a really irritating stutter. MOST importantly, (and I'm pretty sure there is a reciprocal squick here), DO NOT call me Master unless you are prepared to accept the implications. Slaves follow orders, and if they do not, they do not get to be slaves. I set tests for slaves, to sort them out from the wankers and the female impersonators. Other things bother me as well. Being automatically rejected OR accepted based on penis size, age, gender, race or socioeconomic status. None of these things have much directly to do with Mastery, and when someone says they are looking for a Master, it tells me that they are confused as to the meaning of the term, relative to MY lexicon, anyhow, or leaving out important information that might well screw with Mastery even if I "fit." Frankly, I've never been in a D/s relationship where the initial premises survived the first weekend. Why? Because after that, the real needs behind the kinks come up, are dealt with or accomodated, and that always seems to change they dynamic. It also makes the slave a hell of a lot more useful to have underfoot. But any "Master" or "slave" who thinks that any human relationship of mutual utility can be defined before even a cuppa coffee is shared isn't someone I want to trust to do my taxes, or unclog a drain. Never MIND any personal service involving teeth and the application of discretion in their use! [:-]

iwillserveu -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/29/2004 3:51:22 PM)
Great post MrKing! quote: DO NOT call me Master unless you are prepared to accept the implications On the flip side of this I reccomend people avoid that title in their screen name. I believe you should call someone what they want to be called, but Mistress or Master mean something. If a woman calls herself MistressJane then I will call her "MistressJane" to avoid insulting her accidentally. Later she becomes "Jane" when I think I can get away with it. Of course, this puts the onus on me to guess what is the lesser of two evils that she (or they) brought in. (I can't count the number of "I'm not your Mistress" or "that is 'MistressJane'" I've gotten. I know use "Hi" as a salutation.:))

MrKing -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/30/2004 8:30:31 AM)
Thank you, thank you... :) The military has solved this, long and long ago. In the navy, if someone with the rank of captain is on board ship, but not in the chain of command, they are addressed as "Commodore," or "Commander." ... a courtesy title bump. Likewise, a Captain of Marines becomes "Major" on board ship. There can only be one "Captain" per ship. Even if he's a Leutenant. Of course, Enlisted personell have the final say. If they LIKE him, they solve the issue by referring to her as "Skip" or "Skipper." So may I suggest a courtesy "title bump" to "Honorable?" [8\|]

MsAkasha8 -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/30/2004 9:42:33 AM)
I just had to pop in here to say something. I just signed on and my eyes were burned with the picture of a male subs naked rear staring me in the face. Talk about first impressions, lol. Not my favorite first impression! Also, I do not use spell check, but I do expect emails to sound as if they were written by an adult. I have received so many responses that sound as if they were from someone in the first grade! I don't expect Einstein, just average intelligence. Ms. A.

Estring -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/30/2004 3:42:36 PM)
Well said Akasha. I agree. I was always under the impression that in writing either a profile or an opinion, you should take the time to organize your thoughts and ideas and try to put them down in a coherent manner. Just as you were taught in school. If the end product after all that is horrible spelling, bad grammar and incoherency, I'm sorry that doesn't impress me. And it does say something about who you are.

MsAkasha8 -> RE: Bad First Impression (3/31/2004 3:19:56 PM)
Well said Akasha. I agree. I was always under the impression that in writing either a profile or an opinion, you should take the time to organize your thoughts and ideas and try to put them down in a coherent manner. Just as you were taught in school. If the end product after all that is horrible spelling, bad grammar and incoherency, I'm sorry that doesn't impress me. And it does say something about who you are. I have to agree with you Estring. I am not impressed by incoherent messages. Some people may not have a problem with it, but it is my own personal choice, to chose someone who can send me a well written response. I have very little formal education, but I can still form a sentance. I expect the same from a sub that is petitioning me. Ms. A.

iwillserveu -> RE: Bad First Impression (4/3/2004 4:09:44 PM)
To revisit the spelling debate, I got this e-mail: >I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg - THE >PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID. > >Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht >oredr the ltteers in a wrod are. > >The olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit >pclae. > >The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. > >Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the >wrod as a wlohe. >Amzanig huh?

Estring -> RE: Bad First Impression (4/3/2004 10:08:02 PM)
How many letters would you read with spelling like that? And in choosing which to read, would you pick the coherent ones or the incoherent ones? If I want to labor over what I'm reading, I'll read a chemistry book. [:D]

EStrict -> RE: Bad First Impression (4/4/2004 1:33:24 PM)
quote: If I want to labor over what I'm reading, I'll read a chemistry book. [:D] ::laughing:: I think that's the thing he is trying to point out Sir. Not all labor under reading that. I could read it as easily as any other post on here. Iwill, the things that you are missing with that, is though the letters are all jumbled, it is grammatically correct and each word has all the correct letters. Personally I am dyslexic so I am often prone to mix up the letters in typing. So sure it was easy for me to read, but it still doesn't fall into the poor writting skills I am speaking of.

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