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KRANWEST -> Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? (1/10/2008 10:34:25 AM)
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Every night, before 11pm, my girlfriend locks both of her cats in the bathroom.
"I can't sleep when they're up, and just..........LICKING THEMSELVES", Karissa says. Her testimonials don't exactly sway my opinions on feline incarceration, but I'll give in (just to avoid the estrogen-fueled storm later-on).
Bella is a skittish female.............the feline equivalent of a speedballing Mariah Carey. She pisses all the time, setting her territorial markers on sheets, stuffed-animals, pillows and open food containers.
I can't even approach the fucking cat without initiating a "COPS"-style chase.
"Be nice to her baby - she's scared", Karissa pleads, as I attempt to maneuver Bella from underneath the bed with a pool cue. Always a struggle............the ritual repeated. I'd like to Fed-Ex Bella to a starving and appreciative North Korean family, but instead, I'm humiliated........making puerile baby-talk to a mammal whose only inborn instincts are to eat, shit, sleep, and run away from poor, pussy-whipped chumps.
Spanky (a small, black male) is much less trying on the nerves. When I approach the Spankster, I'm either met with a) pure, unadulterated apathy, or b) the empty look that attached men give girlfriends who ask them to critique nail-polish colors.
Does anyone here has similar experiences? I'm talking about those pointless, annoying labors of love. Feel free to fire away
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