Change Management

Change Management (Full Version)

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Paternosta -> Change Management (8/25/2005 4:48:19 PM)
Is this another way.. for us to seek what we desire.. when we know what we want.. but in real terms seek the strength of another to make that decision...

mnottertail -> RE: Change Management (8/25/2005 4:57:21 PM)
perhaps these things are true: A good woman by lowly obeisance ruteth her husband. Such duty as the subject owes the prince, Even such a woman oweth to her husband; And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour, And not obedient to his honest will, What is she but a foul contending rebel And graceless traitor to her loving lord? (Billy, Taming of the Shrew, in honor of CalliopePurple (but certainly not in agreement) The notion of woman's submission is wholly fantasy. They are just dominating from the long way around. (iRon interTubailian Master of the interGallactic interSetllar Nebulae) I have waited for a post on this order for a long, long time........

OscarHargraves -> RE: Change Management (8/26/2005 8:50:58 AM)
Every honest Dom or Master can tell you that the real power in these relationships lies with the Sub. Without their willing submission there can not be a Master/Dom. Do women use their Dom to reinforce decisions that they have already made? Yes, I think so. And do they do that by 'letting' the Dom make that decision for them? Probably, yes. Does it work the same way for male Subs? I don't know but I would venture a guess that it probably does to some extent.

fastlane -> RE: Change Management (8/26/2005 10:16:58 AM)
I tend to agree with Oscar on this one. I have learned over the course of years that women, rather submissive or not, know how to get their way, even when I think it is me that is calling the shots. So, to answer your question, I suggest that you ask for just a little more rope than you truly desire and watch as your Dom, hangs himself...LOL

perverseangelic -> RE: Change Management (8/26/2005 1:06:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves Every honest Dom or Master can tell you that the real power in these relationships lies with the Sub. Without their willing submission there can not be a Master/Dom. \ Disagreed. I have one power--the power to leave. Perhaps that is the ultimate power in the sense that it would end the relationship, but I wouldn't call it the "real" power. I have the choice to say "I will not do this" but to do so would be to end my relationship. Because this is consensual, I can of course do what I want, but the second I choose to willfully disobey, my partner walks away. I don't think that is real power.

anopheles -> RE: Change Management (8/26/2005 2:50:00 PM)
I agree on some levels with perverseangelic, but in my situation I modify it to mean the power of choice. My sub always has the choice to give back my collar, as I have the choice to take it collar back. That is the single non-negotiable element of our relationship. In this way, our relationship is built on trust, building it, and maintaining it.

LordODiscipline -> RE: Change Management (8/26/2005 4:49:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves Every honest Dom or Master can tell you that the real power in these relationships lies with the Sub. Without their willing submission there can not be a Master/Dom. Please, and for gosh sake, let's not toss about these reverse psychological aphorisms (you may insert the terms 'balderdash' or 'bullshit' here) that are not relevant to our relational dynamics as though there is truth to be had here. Quite frankly, I believe that if there is truth in this in a BDSM relationship, the wrong person is wearing the collar. The very fact that someone would completely relinquish their authority based on this denotes a significant lack of understanding about WIITWD and the essence of 'management', 'leadership', and their relationship to authority. ok - I am through ranting now. ~J PS: Sorry - just being honest.

ElektraUkM -> RE: Change Management (8/27/2005 2:59:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Paternosta Is this another way.. for us to seek what we desire.. when we know what we want.. but in real terms seek the strength of another to make that decision... I think that very much depends on the people involved, and what type of 'change' you're talking about. I know I especially value Master's input where my work is concerned. I respect him in that sense as something of a cross between a friend, and a mentor/supervisor who can give me encouragement, make suggestions, or be there for me to bounce ideas off. On the other hand, there are certain other goals that I want to achieve, and in these I value Master's 'putting his foot down' rather more. In this respect it's the fact that I don't want to disappoint him that has a considerable effect on whether I achieve the goal or not. But without the personal strength within myself, how would I succeed? I feel that my desire to please him means that I draw on this inner strength, rather than it being a simple case of my using his strength. edited to add: But I would agree that his strength does come into it, in his setting and enforcing targets, and methods for achieving them. ~ Elektra

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