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RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 6:30:40 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

I'm sorry, but I have to laugh a little here.   Any submissive I've lived with has gone nutz not knowing what to fix for dinner. Basically, knowing what pleased me or not.   Hell, even if I did not want to pick what was for dinner. It had to get cleared through me anyways. A sort of natural order of things. Whatever I ate is what she ate.   So just the thought of me coming home, and saying I'm going to be picking what you eat.. well, just makes me laugh a little.   I suppose it would be interesting to have her eat something else besides what I ate would be... Ummmm Gee...

OK, now when it comes down to laying out new rules, protocals and stuff like that. I've done that. Should happen naturally as the relationship progresses. I normally have some madness to my reasons though.   Not something I do just for the HELL of it.   Now, if a sub/slave needed to loose weight, I might change her diet and take control of it.   I might be sitting there mowing down something with 1000+ calories and she on something with only a couple hundred.

I've never had to put anybody weight loss diet to date.   I myself don't eat a load of junk food anyways. So, nobody is getting fat along with me. If anything hang out with me long enough and you'll loose weight.

Personally, I don't eat Lamb, Tripe, Liver, Beets and things like that.. I've never had any conflicts when it comes to eating.   Hell, many times.. when I ordered something at a resturant.. many of the women I have been with would say that sounds good and order the same damn thing.

Now if I commanded something, or otherwise insisted they do something, not much of a problem with it.   I might have to explain why I had them do something. If it was for the "Hell of it" I would say so.   you know that little daily reminder of power exchange.   All depends upon the established D/s relationship and the level of power exchanged agreed upon.   Amazing what a "Do it for me" can do.

Level of Power exchange is what this is all about anyways... a sort of test of how far it can and will go.   At least this is what this thread is about. A sort of testing of the power levels.

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 21

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 10:22:28 AM

michelleryder

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

Without doubt some things are much easier to submit to than others but if you opt to live in a TPE relationship thats really the last decision your likely to be making. So for me yes i'd go with the request. I'm safe in the knowledge he'd never do anything potentially harmfull to me.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 22

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 11:55:07 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Master will order food for me AFTER asking what i would like. Now if he just ordered for me without asking, i would say Master why are you doing that. That would be like Master ordering fish for me, he likes fish i hate it. I would have to balk from the first and say Master please let me say what i like before you order something. We would have to talk about this.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to michelleryder)

Post #: 23

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 12:14:05 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

My Daddy will order things I dislike as an appetizer for me to try, or he will tell me to take a bite of his food after ordering what I desire. I have tried to eat the same as him to please him and left most of it unfinished and wasted it... Because I try so hard to please him by attempting to eat fish, he only requires I try it a bite at a time. He will not change the fact that he prepares fish a few times a week for me, I must learn to adapt... but he has been rather kind about it, letting me develop a taste for it over time... what can I say, he is wonderful to me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 24

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 12:50:41 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I would not do anything that is asked since I am not supposed to do something that I think might harm my well being. That is my first directive; I am to keep myself from harm. I don't expect that he will ever give me an instruction that he knows will harm me, but he is not infallible and it is remotely possible that he will give an instruction that will inadvertently harm me.

This is the only time that I would balk at an instruction and if I think I will be harmed then I better speak up right away. What I find interesting about this question is that harm may happen over time and not necessarily right at the start. In the example that you gave eating a cheeseburger is unlikely to harm someone if eaten once in a while (barring allergies and improperly handled meat). However, eating cheeseburgers every day for months or years will increase the likelihood of being harmed over time.

I don't have an issue with him controling my diet at all and he does control it to some extent. There are things that I need express permission from him to eat and if he doesn't like what Alandra or I have planned for dinner he will change it. If he took complete control of what we ate but over time our diet became unhealthy for us then we would bring our concerns to him. It wouldn't be a matter of playing along because we enjoyed the immediate gratification, but an issue of harming our well being over time.

I probably took the question in a different direction than you intended, but those were the thoughts that came to mind.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 25

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 10:27:25 PM

Asherdelampyr

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline

Maybe Im wrong, after all in this realm im still a pup, but it would seem to me that with a good master this wouldn't happen. Maybe he/she would come up with a new rule, w/out notice, but I am sure that he/she would know you well enough to avoid doing anything that is really against your beliefs/health. Again, Im new, so I could be way wrong.

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 26

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 11:51:58 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Greetings,

I agree with everything donnamarie said. In a TPE dynamic, there isn't a lot of wiggle room for disobedience and displeasure. Many people struggle with their slavery because they don't understand that the enslavement becomes real when you are challenged to do something you do not want to do. What attitude do you display? How do you recognize this part of yourself that needs work in order to find pleasure in doing this for your Master? Can you work past it and exhale into the peace, calm and serenity of finding pleasure in obedience simply for obedience sake?

Recently, SJ had me stop on my way to his place and buy 3 quarts of motor oil. When I arrived, I handed them to him and began to put away groceries. He turned to me and said, "Now go pour these over yourself." I replied , "Where?" with my hands out expecting him to give them to me. He smiled and said, "Good girl." My instinct was not to question his request - simply to obey. If SJ has need of me to be covered in 5W-30 then I will be covered in 5W-30. As it turns out, he did not. Yet I learned so much about myself that day and the level of trust and belief in him that i had reached.

While not all M/s relationships are TPE, ours is and this is the context I use for the basis of my reply.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

She just said it perfectly. I was ready to answer the OP but was reading through the replies first and as soon as I read the part about the motor oil I had to stop and really think for a minute. It didnt change my original answer which was that whatever my Master wants me or orders me to do whether its something I like or not I would do, but it did make me look at myself a little and really be honest with myself. Its easy to say yes ill do whatever you want...ill always obey etc. but actually in a real situation just doing it without thinking and without hesitation is something completely different. And reading what she said about the motor oil, and just automatically following the order without hesitation, even though it was something most would hesitate or ask why about just made me think of what I would do in that situation. I want to say I would do the same but to be completely honest with myself I probably would hesitate and give him a weird look or ask why. Which is something I hate to admit about myself, I would rather be at the place where I can follow such an order as easily and without hesitation. I dont know if im making any sense at all. I guess what im trying to say is that her post really made me think and gave me a little reminder of the way I should follow orders regardless of how weird or odd they are.

< Message edited by Sub03 -- 1/11/2008 11:55:22 PM >

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 27

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 11:54:00 PM

subantionette

Posts: 57
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

Maybe Im wrong, after all in this realm im still a pup, but it would seem to me that with a good master this wouldn't happen. Maybe he/she would come up with a new rule, w/out notice, but I am sure that he/she would know you well enough to avoid doing anything that is really against your beliefs/health. Again, Im new, so I could be way wrong.

Thats what ive gathered

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)

Post #: 28

RE: playing along with a request - 1/11/2008 11:57:04 PM

Asherdelampyr

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline

Honestly, thats the Master I want to be when I grow up. One who pays attention. I dont need power games to remind anyone of whos in charge, I dont do that anywhere else in my life and im pretty much all dominant. If I ordered my sub/slave to do anything, there would always be a reason for it, and given my own personal beliefs, I wont violate theirs just "for the hell of it" Though maybe im reading too much into this.

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to subantionette)

Post #: 29

RE: playing along with a request - 1/12/2008 7:40:13 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

As a slave, I think its expected for me to go along with an order even when I don't want to. I try to give some kind of indication than Im not thrilled with the order/request/situation just so he's not blindsided later in the event that I run into major problems and have a meltdown but alot of times I don't. There's been things I have had major problems with at first, that I went along with even though I didn't want to that have turned out to be really cool, or helpful to me, or no big deal at all. Other things I thought I'd really like have turned out to be not so great. So, I tend to give things a chance and take it as far as I can regardless of my feelings/thoughts about it.

I'm not sure why you're differientiating between "going along with" an order and "obeying" an order. I think they're pretty much the same.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 30

RE: playing along with a request - 1/12/2008 8:47:37 AM

givingin

Posts: 46
Joined: 4/19/2006
Status: offline

When something new is brought up, we usually discuss it and his reasons for it. Just talking about something and venting how you feel about it, doesn't mean you aren't obedient to your master. Chances are he will see why I am against it and decide not to do it, or I will hear his reasons and go along knowing it makes him happy. There are times also that I don't question at all, if it makes him happy I just do it. There is nothing I enjoy more than to see him pleased and happy with something I am doing. Unless it's something of a major issue, I don't see much reason to fight back. I find it's better to choose any battles in a wise way, that way when I do have something I object to (for any reason), it is taken seriously and not taken as just whining.

_____________________________

"He who laughs last didn't get it." HG

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 31

RE: playing along with a request - 1/12/2008 1:52:01 PM

venusinblu

Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

my Master is very keen on, but has not *yet* demanded that i stop smoking .. i think He's working up to that. W/we are not 24/7 and of course He has no idea whether i am smoking or not when i am not with Him - but Master is wily and wise and knows me .. He knows i am still doing it ... it's only a matter of time before He puts his foot down. This is going to be a tough one.

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 32

RE: playing along with a request - 1/12/2008 4:51:16 PM

verysweet

Posts: 128
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: givingin

When something new is brought up, we usually discuss it and his reasons for it. Just talking about something and venting how you feel about it, doesn't mean you aren't obedient to your master. Chances are he will see why I am against it and decide not to do it, or I will hear his reasons and go along knowing it makes him happy. There are times also that I don't question at all, if it makes him happy I just do it. There is nothing I enjoy more than to see him pleased and happy with something I am doing. Unless it's something of a major issue, I don't see much reason to fight back. I find it's better to choose any battles in a wise way, that way when I do have something I object to (for any reason), it is taken seriously and not taken as just whining.

Whatever works for you two, works.

I can't fathom it being this way. I can't remember ever knowing or being consulted about 'something new' prior to it's introduction. I much prefer it this way--and I think he does, too. But that's my relationship---YMMV.

If he asked my opinion, however, I'd give it honestly and hold to it--not that it would reflect the outcome.

_____________________________

Poetry in devotion.

(in reply to givingin)

Post #: 33

RE: playing along with a request - 1/12/2008 6:27:38 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'd ask why he was doing this and how he proposed to deal with days when my Irritable Bowel Syndrome was acting up. As far as cheeseburgers, unless it's a turkey burger most days I wouldn't feel up to eating one. He knows that milk products and I don't get along.

But in general, he can't announce he's taking control of an arena unless I consent to it. Consent is sacrosanct to me which he knows.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 34

RE: playing along with a request - 1/13/2008 6:14:56 AM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RoughFN

... Do you go along with the order just because the specific case is acceptable, or do you "follow" the order secretly knowing that you're not really complying...?

Who said that going along isn't complying? What is the specific criteria for complying to an order? Must I agree with the order? Must I like the order? Must I have no reservations about the order?

I also don't really understand this idea that my obedience today directly affects whether my actions of yesterday are considered obedient. To give you a hypothetical example...

If yesterday FirmhandKY instructed me to shave him and I complied, why would my declining to do the same today make my obedience yesterday invalid?

quote:

ORIGINAL: RoughFN

...The way I view it is that an order is something that you are supposed to do, and whether you want to do it or not is immaterial. So yes, you can follow an order if you like what you're doing and there's nothing wrong with that, but claiming that you're following the order when you're just avoiding an argument isn't submitting at all and that comes to light when something comes up you don't actually enjoy.

It sounds like you like the idea of a submissive obeying whether she likes it or not, but you really want her to enjoy all your orders.

What is it about her agreeing to obey one of your orders that she might not like that bothers you? Why do you think that not having an agreeable opinion somehow invalidates her submission?

(in reply to RoughFN)

Post #: 35

RE: playing along with a request - 1/13/2008 6:53:00 AM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

right now in my current relationship it would depend. if my domme cooks for me i eat it, unless i've already eaten or it's something that i TRULY dislike or will make me sick. however if we go out i won't necessarily let her pick my food for me, just because this tends to run to a conserative area and two women out the way that we are turns enough heads by itself, and she's not out of the closet with either her sexuality or her kinks. if my dom does it i would want to know why. i don't eat beef. if he notices i seem anemic, he might make me eat the burger just for the iron. however if it was a trivial issue like i just want you to eat beef i would say no, because i'm sensitive to the feed they give most non-organic cattle. so it would depend on the reasoning behind the order.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 36

RE: playing along with a request - 1/15/2008 4:17:56 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

im a submissive and i trust my M'Lady she knows my likes and dislikes if in the course of events a new situation arises and She were to ask me to do something that i was uncomfortable with i would let Her know. as long as it is an honest relationship built on trust there is nothing to fear as i do not fear what M'Lady does to me, W/we have discused my limits and the reasons why . i trust Her and thats all ther is
happily collared by LadyPact
LPs_littleclip

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 37

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