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Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/10/2008 4:33:27 PM   
spicybrains


Posts: 35
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		My inner Domme is being promoted to an outer Domme, as I have a submissive under consideration!  I am very excited. 

He says he likes verbal play, and I do, too.  I'm keen on unleashing that inner bitch and giving him some quality verbal humiliation.  I asked him for more specifics on that front, but he was reticent.  He does seem pretty thick-skinned, so I'm not really worried about crossing some unseen line.  He said he couldn't think of any words or phrases that he would consider limits. 

Since we are still new to each other, I am going to avoid some terms that I feel are too close to the area of "consensual verbal abuse", such as "worthless", "stupid", "waste of space", etc.  Trouble is, I feel I could stand to expand my repertoire of verbal humiliation.  Some terms I do like:

Diminutives:  Little, Silly, Honey, Sweetheart (all said in a condescending way)
Bad, vile, nasty, dirty, rotten
Boy, fool, pet, plaything, hole

I'm sure I could think of more, but I'd like to hear what the Ladies on this board (or their submissives) like to use. 

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/10/2008 5:17:48 PM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		bitch, slut, puppysue, dunmpling, pussy, sinful, fucktoy, little mr, little missy, missy, missypie, cupcake, crumb, rope rack, dirty.......boychick, chicken, chickenwicken, staff member....

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to spicybrains)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/10/2008 5:23:24 PM   
vampchick88


Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		  Your personal little bitch. Get into it. Before you get into the scene find what makes your inner Domme come out, find what triggers it and pump it for all its worth. Once you do you'll start getting words to fly, he'll start to regonize the change in you and should instantly melt.

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to ocilla)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/10/2008 6:20:25 PM   
Mizziness


Posts: 34
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline 		Here's the thing...don't force the words out just because you think he wants to hear them.  They will come across as fake and will give the opposite effect.  I find that humiliating or verbally "abusing" (not really abuse if they like it, no?) is especially fun when you don't focus fully on it.  Add little insults in during normal conversation, during scenes, etc...don't lump it all in one heap or it loses its effectiveness.


_____________________________

"So go and lay back down tonight
Because you won't know who you are
Until you're down on your knees
And you're begging, 'Please...'"
~Evans Blue "A Cross And A Girl Named Blessed"

(in reply to vampchick88)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/10/2008 7:06:50 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I am not an expert in this area at all, so these are just suggestions:

Avoid his core values and insecurities.  So if he struggled at school, "dumb" and "dopey" could be a landmine.  So could "fatso" if he is chubby and sensitive about it.  If you aren't sure, pick the things you know he is really secure about, and pick on them. 

For example, my sub is really, really brainy and successful, but has a smallish dick.  So I can abuse him for being "stupid", ""lazy" and "useless" (which he knows he isn't), but criticising his penis would be cruel abuse, not consensual.

I always found "dirty little slut" (with a dirty little grin on my face!) worked, but I did actually have one guy get really upset when called a "slut".  He yelled at me "how dare you???" and safe worded (in the middle of a bonk!!!!  How hyper-sensitive is that?).  Quite disconcerting. 

So be ready to handle some extreme emotional reactions when doing verbal humiliation that you rarely get doing physical play. 

Oh and of course, the trick is to never lose emotional control of yourself.  Be a nasty, nasty girl and have fun, but be conscious of what you are doing and saying and watch carefully for reactions.  Hurt silence is not the aim of this game.

Its all trial and error.  Good luck


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to Mizziness)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/10/2008 7:17:00 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I would ask him again to tell me what he wanted, but in a subtle or fun way.... He could write you a story in which the dialogue reveals what he likes.  He could make a piece of art work for you with bad words on it - the ones he hates, the ones he loves.  You could play the game where you say a word and he says the first word that comes to mind.  You could write down some degrading words on papers and make him rearrange them in the order that are exciting to hurtful for him... (make sure to include words you KNOW he likes and ones you KNOW he doesn't like so that his fears are addressed and he has made them clear).  You could make him close his eyes and write them down (it's not always so bad if we don't see them).  You could ask him what he would naturally call you and then call him the opposite and see how he responds...  Mistress/slave, Gorgeous/ugly, Strong/weak... you could play a game where you put out dashes like _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  (8) and see what word he puts in it... (fuckmeat is very different from dollface or cunthole).  I love when play is actually playful.  *smiles.

peace

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/11/2008 3:12:42 AM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ocilla

bitch, slut, puppysue, dunmpling, pussy, sinful, fucktoy, little mr, little missy, missy, missypie, cupcake, crumb, rope rack, dirty.......boychick, chicken, chickenwicken, staff member....


Ocilla - love the vocabulary LMAO

Just remember the old saying about sticks and stones is NOT necessarily true: a masochistic sub who can take some serious pain may be very hurt if you use the wrong words with the wrong tone. Both are important. After all, it is verbal play and humiliation to put him in his place (or space) but not to truly hurt him emotionally. Sometimes what you say is not as important as how you say it. If you are laughing and tell someone to "fuck off" it is much different than saying it in anger. Play with it, and start off light, smiling, and playing and judge his reaction proceeding with caution. Use words such as good to combine with the names: "are you my good little _____?" Also, you can combine it with his own verbal play and activities you know he likes - for example, if he loves your shoes, tell him "if you are my good little boytoy you will beg me to suck my heels" and laugh while he does just that!

Remember the scars of verbal abuse can last far longer than the "badges of honor" a masochist will wear from physical activities.

The mental aspects of BDSM are just as if not more powerful than the physical.

(in reply to ocilla)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/11/2008 7:15:07 AM   
MsWorthy


Posts: 31
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		It's really important that you use words that fit/come from your headspace, otherwise your dialog will just come out sounding fake.

If the two of you are *into* coercion fantasies or roleplay, I would focus more on saying things that fit that particular *play* than on the words themselves.

For example, telling him he is such a nasty boy while he is *forced* to masturbate for you will probably excite him, whereas telling him he is such a nasty boy while he is being *forced* to prance around in a dress might do nothing for him - and might knock him right out of headspace.

(in reply to spicybrains)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/11/2008 11:12:16 AM   
solvr70


Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ocilla

bitch, slut, puppysue, dunmpling, pussy, sinful, fucktoy, little mr, little missy, missy, missypie, cupcake, crumb, rope rack, dirty.......boychick, chicken, chickenwicken, staff member....


great list! what you said with cock-bitch/whore, cum-bitch/whore

all very, very good!

(in reply to ocilla)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/11/2008 12:23:59 PM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		maaarkk, come here you cute little fuck.    I've got some words for you my boy.  lol

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to solvr70)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/11/2008 12:28:01 PM   
kyang777


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spicybrains

My inner Domme is being promoted to an outer Domme, as I have a submissive under consideration!  I am very excited. 

He says he likes verbal play, and I do, too.  I'm keen on unleashing that inner bitch and giving him some quality verbal humiliation.  I asked him for more specifics on that front, but he was reticent.  He does seem pretty thick-skinned, so I'm not really worried about crossing some unseen line.  He said he couldn't think of any words or phrases that he would consider limits. 

Since we are still new to each other, I am going to avoid some terms that I feel are too close to the area of "consensual verbal abuse", such as "worthless", "stupid", "waste of space", etc.  Trouble is, I feel I could stand to expand my repertoire of verbal humiliation.  Some terms I do like:

Diminutives:  Little, Silly, Honey, Sweetheart (all said in a condescending way)
Bad, vile, nasty, dirty, rotten
Boy, fool, pet, plaything, hole

I'm sure I could think of more, but I'd like to hear what the Ladies on this board (or their submissives) like to use. 




LOL, here is the quote from my mistress:

Wonderful, your such a nasty little cock sucking pussy hole! Mistress ---

(in reply to spicybrains)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Letting my Inner Domme out - Verbal Play - 1/11/2008 2:15:04 PM   
solvr70


Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ocilla

maaarkk, come here you cute little fuck.    I've got some words for you my boy.  lol


yes m'Lady? You have mail m'Lady

(in reply to ocilla)
Profile   Post #: 12
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