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Amaros -> RE: Anyone passively Dominant? (1/13/2008 9:07:19 AM)
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Well, I'm pretty easygoing most of the time, I prefer give and take, I'm afraid I'd get bored with somebody who didn't express an opinion and disagree with me once in while, tell me when I'm wrong, it happens so seldom, but really, a lot of it is just getting another point of view. I'm not a mind reader - well I do that too, but a lot of that is simple pattern recognition, a lot of people display cultural patterns that can make them very predicatable, I'm really more interested in hearing semi-detached observations from from an unbiased viewpoint, kinda stream of consciousness stuff as opposed to emotional and intellectual rote.
In a way, I like to have my needs anticipated, and in another I like to be suprised - a lot of times, just when I think I have somebody figured out they hit me with some eye opening insight, that's very cool and I'd hate to have somebody so pacifed that they'd stop thinking for themselves it helps to hear things from a different angle soemtimes.
Again, I do a lot of observation and thinking about things, and this is sort of a passive activity - as an artist too, I have to open my mind up to the collective conscious so to speak, to lower the barriers and let things just sort of wash over me, and I can seem very passive in this state. it takes time to collate and organize the information, fit it all into the paradigm, and at that point my active mind takes over again, if that makes any sense.
It's sort of a zone I go into, spacey, but you disturb it at your own risk, it's very annoying to be broken out of it in midstream, before I've ridden it out to a convenient plateau, after which I'm always ready for a little decompression.
To me, a lot of it is someone who knows when to talk and when to leave me alone, without my having to tell them, a certain amount of empathy I guess, which requires and active mind and a certain amount of sensitivity.
Otherwise, I have military training to fall back on etc., and I can be pretty pre-emptive when giving orders, it annoys some people (civilians) who have those delicate feelings, but it really isn't just bossiness, it's just that in the military, you get used to giving and following orders without saying please and thank you: things need to get done, so you do it without making a huge fuss - it's called dicipline, but I have to monitor myself with it lest it cause resentment that might be counterproductive.
In play, I'm more inclined to seek feedback and I value somebody who isn't afraid to tell you what they really think and feel - it helps to avoid getting into ruts, I think relationships start to fall apart when you stop listening to each other and making too many assumptions.
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