RE: Anyone passively Dominant?

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RE: Anyone passively Dominant? - 1/13/2008 12:47:07 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
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I'm assertive. passive and aggresive at different times.
It obviously depends on the circumstances and who I am with.
I love my kinks they are part of who I am and I discover new ones every day and realise that old ones don't work anymore.
That's why negotiating a relationship based on kinks doesn't work.
I thrive best in a D/s relationship.When I know I am in total control then it's so much easy to give my partner what he needs.
The perfect person would be a masochist who isn't really bothered about how the pain is delivered. But the relationship has to work on a vanilla level first and foremost.
I like men who are not bound by rules and conventions just the willingness to please me.

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RE: Anyone passively Dominant? - 1/13/2008 1:07:12 PM

CuriousLord

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

I hadn't thought of it as passive dominance...

Me neither, really. When writting, I wasn't too sure what to call it. To me, "passive Dominance" was just a label to sort of express what I meant, before explaining.

I wonder if there could've been a better word choice?

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RE: Anyone passively Dominant? - 1/13/2008 2:24:00 PM

littlesarbonn

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Well, my response is a bit different, but it goes with the original question. I often find myself the dominant in mutual relationships with women, mainly because people tend to defer to me for decisions. And even though I'm a lifestyle submissive, I find myself rarely having a problem with this type of respect-level of interaction I receive in so many different situations. So, maybe I am passively dominant but just don't carry it forth any further than base acknowledgement.

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RE: Anyone passively Dominant? - 1/13/2008 2:29:36 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I'm mostly curious if anyone else feels the same way about the D/s or/and M/s dynamics as I do. (I mean, I'm sure there are, but who and how.)

As I've said in my profile, whips and chains don't excite me, and I'm neither masochistic nor sadistic. In this respect, I lack two of the three pillars of BDSM (Bondage/Discipline and Sadism/Masochism, with Dominance/Submission being the one I have.) While I'll occasionally use bondage, it's far more playful, as I enjoy seeing some trying to wiggle out of knots. Heck, I've even made a game of it before, tying increasingly more difficult bonds to get out of until a sub was unable. But it didn't leave me with any sense of power or sexuality; it was just amusing.

What I do enjoy is the M/s dynamic. It feels so much easier and freer to me, and I enjoy the intimacy of it. It makes life simplier and I feel I can go further with it. (For instance, I had my slave chose an Engineering major that was complimentary to my own so we can work on larger projects together later on down the road. Then there's the no fights ever thing.. no relationship drama, jealousy, issues to work out.. it's all just very clean and decent.)
So, I suppose the bottom line is.. does anyone else here just enjoy a D/s or M/s dynamic like this, without the kinky stuff?

Funny part is, in this community, I'm the weirdo. ;)

I hope you are not limiting yourself to finding a partner in the 'bdsm commuity.' If the kink isn't what you are after, then there are plenty of women who are looking for a man to answer to. Have you successfully integrated this into a relationship minus kink for the long haul? Has it worked?

Was the "no fights ever" and no drama thing sarcasm, or do you believe that this comes with being a dominant?

Akasha

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RE: Anyone passively Dominant? - 1/13/2008 2:34:53 PM

sexyred1

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Not to derail the line of thinking, but I was thinking today that "passive Dominants" are the many, many guys who write me and just do nothing; they just say hi, write a few lines and then just keep popping up every week with the same words and lines.

I find that "passive" behavior upfront does not make me very interested in someone claiming to be Dominant. I think Dominance can express itself in going after what you want, including meeting someone.

Now you might say, well these self same guys write lots of women, and perhaps they do, but they also keep writing and just "passively" keep saying, how are you? what's up? just boring little snippets of conversation that are not really designed to move things along.

To me, that is being passively Dominant. I have never experienced actually being with someone in a relationship who was that way; the men I have been with have all been actively Dominant in our dynamic.

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RE: Anyone passively Dominant? - 1/15/2008 9:33:43 PM

MasterFireMaam

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I have two friends who are International Master/slave titleholders...who don't wear leather and who don't do SM. Wonderful people.

Be you.

Master Fire

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