Stressful Jobs

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MiladyElaine -> Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 10:18:56 AM)
I have a question mostly for the males but I guess it could affect the females as well. For those of you in stressful jobs - does the stress make you feel more submissive? If so, can you articulate how?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 10:35:13 AM)
It doesn't have anything to do with it. My job is stressful not because of the work I specifically do, but because dealing with clueless clients and a clueless boss who needs ego stroking and well prepared handling and who will do everything he can to be inefficient in the name of not admitting he needs to change something is stressful. But it has nothing to do with my relationship other than a few exasperated calls my partner has to deal with :)

lockmeupplease -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 10:35:25 AM)
When my job is stressful it usually means that I have to become as dominant as possible and make sure that everyone on my staff is clear on what needs to be done and what the deadlines are. The exception woudl be when the stress is caused by boss being unhappy with my performance. My reaction internally is similar to the way I feel if I have displeased my Mistress.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 10:41:06 AM)
From experience, Fox and Angel both tend to get less submissive when they are stressed. Neither boy can relax enough after a stressful day, or week, to settle into their positions. They have both inadvertantly snapped at me when they were overly stressed, wich aside from mentioning I wouldnt stand for it, was not punished. They have to move into a more dominant mindset to deal with the stress, and it isnt the easiest thing to slip back out of. For Angel, at the very least, it is becoming more commonplace with his new job, and he and I are trying to figure out how to deal with his lack of submissive feelings lately, the more intense his job gets the less sub-like he feels when he is with me again finally. At least for Fox, its a temporary thing and once school starts back up the stress will be negligable. DV

rubberpet -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 10:48:54 AM)
My job can be a stressful one at times and I've inadvertantly snapped at my beloved Mistress on more than one occasion because of it. Luckily for me, She cannot kick my ass or bitch slap me over the phone! [:D] Stress has a very negative effect on me and my submission. I might be wound up tighter than a spring, but it's usually enough to make me temporarily forget my place. Once I calm down some, I realize I snapped at Mistress and begin apologizing profusely. Thank God She is so patient and understanding.[:)] That's why She rules!

burningdesires47 -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 10:50:49 AM)
I suppose to a certain degree, the stress of my career makes me feel more submissive when I'm not at work/in class. I'm such a hardass, and I let it show, in the pirate ship that a hot kitchen can be, that on my days off, all I want is to not make decisions for a while. Do I do this first or this first or this next and oh I can't forget about x, y and z that's cooking, and hey can you check on w, order up and WAIT shit I forgot their side.... plus getting folks together to work on one aspect or another of my restaurant, plying investors, running numbers again and again and again... So when I'm given the opportunity to let someone else take the reigns for a bit, I appreciate it, and tend to let go a bit more. The subdrop from letting myself be totally free to feel and be and not HAVE to overthink things can be a real problem, but the thrill of the bruises when I'm back in the kitchen takes the edge off a bit :) It can be very difficult to switch from one to the other, at times... to go from being in charge all day to giving up control... but at the same time, my ability to do so, and my Dom's ability to to make me feel comfortable in doing so, is really the best part, and getting past that obstacle every time brings a certain happiness from goal achievement. Now, I'm not working directly with people's LIVES. I imagine it's got to go one of two ways, it's either one's desire to go from a high-stress job like that to total submission, or else it's something that someone fights with constantly... or just gives up that idea and becomes a Dominant in the rest of their life, too.

FullCircle -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 11:00:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross My job is stressful not because of the work I specifically do, but because dealing with clueless clients and a clueless boss who needs ego stroking and well prepared handling and who will do everything he can to be inefficient in the name of not admitting he needs to change something is stressful. People tell me you should do a job you enjoy because at the end of your life you'll see that majority of it was spent at work. We get caught up in the pursuit of financial security sometimes that we are prepared to do jobs we hate doing “Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.” Confucius

MiladyElaine -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 11:18:27 AM)
Thanks everyone. I read on a profile that the guy's work made him want to submit and I thought it was a strange thing to say. Different from what I had been reading others say about having to be more dominant at their jobs.

bipolarber -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 11:47:11 AM)
When I feel stressed from work, I find I WANT to be submissive more... but It doesn't automatically make me want to get on my knees before my supervisor and hand him a flogger. If anything, it just makes me want to get home, and make a date with my Domme for as soon as I can.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 12:38:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine I have a question mostly for the males but I guess it could affect the females as well. For those of you in stressful jobs - does the stress make you feel more submissive? If so, can you articulate how? No. I love a stressful job. It makes me feel empowered. My level of submission to my Master is determined by our relationship. I can see, however, where some people find relief in their submission after a stressful day, and perhaps that is what this person was talking about - - that after a stressful day, he craves the comfort and relief that his submission brings. Perhaps he just worded it as his job making him feel more submissive.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 12:59:52 PM)
i thrive on stressful situations to get my reviews done before deadline

subantionette -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 1:28:34 PM)
the stress in my life (school/work) makes me more submissive because i know that He will put me in my place and that nothing will matter, untill i have to go back to school/work

sexyred1 -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 1:33:12 PM)
My stressful job just makes me need the release that submission affords me, but I imagine I would need it the same no matter what my job was.

tinoketsheli -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 1:42:56 PM)
I get more dominant when I am stressed at work or school. I think because I feel like when I am stressed it reminds me that i am lucky to be at the level I am at, at my age. It makes me empowered, and my submission just takes away every single external factor...

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 1:49:31 PM)
I can say I've heard a lot of subs say they like the submission because it allows them to not be in control or make decisions or be aggressive like they have to be in all their other relationships. This never clicked with me because all my masters expected me to make choices and get things done and be so active and taking care of things- the masters were the ones who got to relax and be passive! Of course being a switch now, I understand it's not QUITE that clear cut, but I find it's more the subs who get to be passive bottoms and micromanaged or who have fantasy ideas about submission who hold that mindset rather than the ones who are expected to really be an active participant in the relationship.

Rayne58 -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/12/2008 7:32:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire From experience, Fox and Angel both tend to get less submissive when they are stressed. Neither boy can relax enough after a stressful day, or week, to settle into their positions. They have both inadvertantly snapped at me when they were overly stressed, wich aside from mentioning I wouldnt stand for it, was not punished. They have to move into a more dominant mindset to deal with the stress, and it isnt the easiest thing to slip back out of. For Angel, at the very least, it is becoming more commonplace with his new job, and he and I are trying to figure out how to deal with his lack of submissive feelings lately, the more intense his job gets the less sub-like he feels when he is with me again finally. At least for Fox, its a temporary thing and once school starts back up the stress will be negligable. DV DV I can relate to how both Fox and Angel feel - I have snapped at Sir more than once [&o] It's most often when we are getting Him on His dialysis machine and something has gone wrong (cannula wrongly placed, trying to work out why machine is alarming and fix the problem). I feel awful when it happens but the words just fly out of my mouth mostly because I am trying to think what to do and I can't figure it out - this is life support and it involves needles and blood for gawd's sake [:(] It happens out of frustration and Sir does understand.....however it doesn't make me feel any better about it and I wish I could control it better.....[&o]

batshalom -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/13/2008 2:25:09 AM)
--Fast Reply Stress at work makes me bitchy, period. I have found great satisfaction in forcing myself to remain focused on submission during those times becaue it is so difficult, but I don't feel more submissive at all.

taintedgypsy -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/13/2008 5:03:06 AM)
NO stress does not enhance anything in my life ... it just makes me stressed lol. However exhaustion, tired sore and pissed off is really detrimental to anyone within range and being Dom is not protection ... be a long way away or be strong and force me to calm and settle ... if all else fails ... show no fear and stand your ground lol.

rc4otkVA -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/25/2008 3:50:02 PM)
In the subs I see most have to be in control in all aspects of their lives except bdsm. It's a good release for them. It makes them feel more balanced. Everyone has different reasons for doing what they do, but this is what I have found with subs who share my interests.

Bound2One -> RE: Stressful Jobs (1/25/2008 4:38:21 PM)
quote: I can say I've heard a lot of subs say they like the submission because it allows them to not be in control or make decisions or be aggressive like they have to be in all their other relationships. I've heard this as well. I can say that I like the submission because it allows me to not be in control, but it doesn't mean that I don't have to think. I often have to offer my opinion and thoughts, but the final decision is his, which is how I like it. But a relationship takes work from both sides of the slash.

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