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Fear of Heights - 1/12/2008 7:36:25 PM   
subantionette


Posts: 57
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline 		Hello,
i was just wondering if there was a way to get over a fear of heights. i am deathly afride of them, to the point i cannot even use a step stool or ladder. i want to be able to be deal with the suspension my perspective dom and i have talked about. so i was wondering if there was anyone else who was scared of heights and how you got over it, or how u deal with suspension.

Thanks,
antionette
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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/12/2008 7:40:45 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well the good news about suspension is that you don't have to be any more than an inch off the ground in order to be suspended- most people tend to be 4 feet or higher though.

However, most severe phobias require some work to manage- there's hypnosis, habituation, working through the cause, heck even drugs.  Depending on the severity of the phobia and the degree to which you want to get it totally gone, some or all of those methods may need to be employed with a professional (dom does not equal professional).

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/12/2008 7:57:49 PM   
tinoketsheli


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline 		I would totally just go for it. Let it become part of the scene for you... start off closer to the ground and let it go higher and higher as you go... theres not much you can truely do on your own but just try get over it yourself...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/12/2008 9:26:34 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i am afraid of:
heights
rollercoasters
flying
deep water
open closets when i'm sleeping in a room....

there is a long list.  and no, i've not been asked to overcome those fears by Daddy.  the flying, i might have to deal with on a semi-regular basis, but i'll cross that runway when i have to.

kitten, whose Daddy laughs at her fearfulness, and hugs her

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 12:01:48 AM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		i have a fear of heights and stairs. I fell down the stairs many, many years ago. The first two steps of a ladder i am ok. More than that i am NOT comfortable.
Recently i had to paint some rooms to save money so i had to use a ladder. I didn't like it but i did it.

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 5:45:02 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Cognitive Behavioral Therapy... see a therapist... very easily handled

peace

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 6:59:02 AM   
Bobbie9395


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Adoracat, we share exactly the same fears.  In addition, I have a fear of escalators that don't have walls enclosing them, and the dark (because of being raped by an intruder in the middle of the night many years ago).  The flying I'm also going to have to deal with at some point as Master wants to take me on trips.  But, he's very understanding and going to work with me on it.  With his support, I hope to be able to get on a plane at some point.  I had never thought about counseling, but perhaps that an option.

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 8:00:13 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have dealt with a phobia of driving... how did I get over it? I drove.

All I can say is that you should face your fear in a safe way.... repeatedly.... until you are not afraid anymore.

And yes I know it is easy for me to say the above, terrifying to actually do it, but the way to your goal isn't around the obstacles, it is through them....

Good luck


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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 10:17:22 AM   
eevin


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline 		i have a deathly fear of heighs.  i don't like step stools or ladders, either.  But to get beyond that, it set everything up so i can be up the ladder and back down in the lowest amount of time possible.  And while i'm up there i keep telling myself that i'll be okay.  That nothing is gpoing to happen to me.  Than i thank GOD when i get back down on solid ground again.

Now, plains are a different matter.  I freak out the entire trip.  Grip the seat, close my eyes, and babble the entire time until i'm safely back down on the ground.


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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 10:44:06 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have dealt with a phobia of driving... how did I get over it? I drove.

All I can say is that you should face your fear in a safe way.... repeatedly.... until you are not afraid anymore.

And yes I know it is easy for me to say the above, terrifying to actually do it, but the way to your goal isn't around the obstacles, it is through them....

Good luck

That's never actually worked for me. I'm terrified of heights. I force myself to get on the ski lift ever year and cling onto Master for dear life. I go through it because I love to ski, but the fear has never abated. It's just as strong as it ever was.

So, I would recommend the head on approach like Julia did and if it doesn't work, see a professional.

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 10:48:48 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I am still afraid when I drive too, but i refuse to allow it to control my life... I do not panic anymore though.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 10:56:21 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I also have a fear of heights, but have been working on it. I hike on trails that have many peaks and climb to the point where I am just outside of my comfort zone. I sit down at that height for a time and get used to it by realizing it's not very far from where I am comfortable. Then I climb just a bit higher and so on. I repeat this process, always starting from where I am comfortable on that day (it changes, sometimes higher, sometimes lower). I have been at this for many years and can now climb to the top of a 20' extesion ladder without much difficulty. I will continue to work on it for the rest of my life. Good luck to you.


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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 11:03:40 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobbie9395

Adoracat, we share exactly the same fears.  In addition, I have a fear of escalators that don't have walls enclosing them, and the dark (because of being raped by an intruder in the middle of the night many years ago).  The flying I'm also going to have to deal with at some point as Master wants to take me on trips.  But, he's very understanding and going to work with me on it.  With his support, I hope to be able to get on a plane at some point.  I had never thought about counseling, but perhaps that an option.


*nods*  not escalators, but elevators are a challenge.  flying...i'm going to have to get a grip on that one too, because of someone who wants to fly me to meet him. 

i cant stand to be tickled.  Daddy loves to do that.  but he will not on me because he knows why i cant stand it.

counselling can help a great deal.  i know *why* i'm afraid of some of the things i am terrified of, and if i can keep reminding myself "no, that isnt that other situation, its NOW and i'm ok, really"  it helps keep me in *now* headspace, and not going back into the past.

kitten

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 11:08:23 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I am still afraid when I drive too, but i refuse to allow it to control my life... I do not panic anymore though.


i dont like driving.  i can, i'm a careful safe driver....i just dont like doing it.

there's a bridge in town that i'm terrified of....first of all its got grates instead of solid surface in the highest middle of the bridge, and it sounds scary, as the plates bounced a little (the bridge has been changed, its solid surface all the way across now) which did nothing good for my nerves, second, the height of the bridge....and third, i knew that a year before we moved here, a woman had an accident on the bridge, and was thrown from her car, and over the railing.

when fal got sick and had to be hospitalized, the ONLY way to get to there from here was over that bridge.  so, i was forced to be able to deal with it.

kitten

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 12:32:40 PM   
subantionette


Posts: 57
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline 		thanks guys this is very helpful to me

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 12:56:59 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		hi hon
i feel like i have been scared my whole life with heights and water being two of the main things that terrify me.
Guess what, i met C. and its amazing what you can do for love. i now live full time on a boat that has become 'our' home. Its an old fishing boat that C has been converting into a house boat and i love it. At the moment we live at a marina and i have become so used to the movement i miss it when we are away from home. Yes, there are times. like in storms, that i still get scared but i know the boat and i trust her, and C, to keep us safe.
As for heights, bit by bit, i am learning to cope with ladders etc. i still have to take a deep breath before climbing too high but now i know that i can do it. C just looks at me with such pride in His eyes when i am out on the top deck looking over the edge at something that has caught my eye. When i first moved on i wouldnt even go out there but now i can cope no problem.
One day at a time, thats how i am coping with my fears. He never pushes me too far or fast, just lets me try things at my own speed and to my own comfort levels. He never mocks me when i am afraid, just hugs me and says that i am safe, that i am loved, and all is fine.
i am still working on my fear of spiders and bugs
hugs
c

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/13/2008 1:02:14 PM   
Decimus


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I guess for me it is a matter of controling my fear and abilities or proven technology.....its rather weird I'm afraid of heights so much that I go a little weird and stuff whenever I go up too high, however I love flying...I get a little weirded out on ski lifts although I go because I love skiiing. Same with rollar coasters, I love them so I ignore it. I intend to conqeur my fear of heights later this year...I'm going to go sky diving...if my best friends push me out, lol, that and hopefully Aerith will be there to help and comfort me.

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/15/2008 9:24:43 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		i am scared of heights but i am fine flying.  Going up on the Empire state bldg was a big step for me.  I am terrified of spiders even the itty bitty ones (guess its a good thing i don't live in FL).  if i see a spider in a room i am not in that room anymore.  Thank God i have not seen a spider in a while.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/15/2008 9:35:10 AM   
freyjasdottir


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
Status: offline 		Heights and water are my two biggest fears and living in this part of the country makes it very difficult as you can get pretty much NO WHERE without crossing a bridge and a number of them are the grate type where you can see the water passing, I drive across them but everyone else in the vehicle knows to shut up and let me concentrate on the road and the person who says "oh look" is liable to get hit hard when I am back on solid ground.

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RE: Fear of Heights - 1/15/2008 10:42:50 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		I won't get on horses.  I will get on ladders and step stools, but I hate them.  One time at work,(in a store.) I was putting some Sterlite containers on a high shelf, a co-worker came by and jiggled the ladder. (it was one of those rolling metal ladders.) freaked me out. luckily, it was when the store was closed because I yelled.  My manager came running. Oooo did she rip him a new one. lol.  she ended up cutting us both because of high labor that day.  It took a long while for me to forgive him for that.

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Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

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I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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