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Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 10:04:31 AM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		This is a silly question, i know...but how common is it for a Dominant to also like to have pain inflicted on him?
 
 
i identify myself mostly as a masochist, yet i'm somewhat certain i'd have no problems inflicting a limited amount of pain onto another female.  However, i can't wrap my head around inflicting pain onto a Dominant.  Yet, a recent conversation has me wondering if it's more common than i think for a Dom to also crave pain?
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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 10:06:39 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		Yeah, I know, I'm not a male Dominant.  But, I'll put my two cents in anyway.

I label myself as a switch solely because I have a masochistic streak that sometimes wants to be quenched.

I am not submissive.  I do sometimes like moderate pain.  It feels good.  Why can't I enjoy it too?

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 1/13/2008 10:08:05 AM >

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 10:07:05 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I consider myself a masochistic sadist.

But I'm not  so much dominant.  I just like to hurt girls :)

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 10:17:43 AM   
lynn20063


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/24/2007
Status: offline 		well.my former Master was Dominant to his fingertips...you know that charisma they have?...but he liked to play...thought it was hot to be tied up etc...so when we played that way,I might have topped him but he never submitted,lol

So that is my experience. I loved that he was so open and not worried about appearing 'weak'...he could take some serious pain

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 10:25:31 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

This is a silly question, i know...but how common is it for a Dominant to also like to have pain inflicted on him?
 
 
i identify myself mostly as a masochist, yet i'm somewhat certain i'd have no problems inflicting a limited amount of pain onto another female.  However, i can't wrap my head around inflicting pain onto a Dominant.  Yet, a recent conversation has me wondering if it's more common than i think for a Dom to also crave pain?


First you'll have to recognize that a relationship dynamic is completely separate from those sensations that we find pleasurable.  No one has a problem understanding that a Dominant might enjoy a massage.  Even a deep tissue massage that many people would consider "painful".  That's not even a stone's throw from enjoying thuddy types of impact play, or a flogging.
 
So while it's not terribly common for Dominants to enjoy bottoming, it's also far from being unheard of.  The fact that they process some activities that many people would consider "painful" as "pleasurable" has no bearing on their relationship dynamic.
 
John

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 10:27:08 AM   
Kleemar


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		I find that it expands the playing field and also engages the sub. I find it fun. Do I submit? NO! But it does make things interesting by just being different. And the confused look on the sub is very nice too......

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 11:26:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's a lot more common than people think, but I'd say only about 30-40% overall.

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 11:45:26 AM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

This is a silly question, i know...but how common is it for a Dominant to also like to have pain inflicted on him?
 
 
i identify myself mostly as a masochist, yet i'm somewhat certain i'd have no problems inflicting a limited amount of pain onto another female.  However, i can't wrap my head around inflicting pain onto a Dominant.  Yet, a recent conversation has me wondering if it's more common than i think for a Dom to also crave pain?


First you'll have to recognize that a relationship dynamic is completely separate from those sensations that we find pleasurable.  No one has a problem understanding that a Dominant might enjoy a massage.  Even a deep tissue massage that many people would consider "painful".  That's not even a stone's throw from enjoying thuddy types of impact play, or a flogging.
 
So while it's not terribly common for Dominants to enjoy bottoming, it's also far from being unheard of.  The fact that they process some activities that many people would consider "painful" as "pleasurable" has no bearing on their relationship dynamic.
 
John


Meaning, a Dom is no less "Dominant" simply because he also enjoys receiving pain?   Enjoying that sensation does not mean that he has to "submit" in anyway to receive it?

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 11:59:50 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		i know a Dom that has a slight masochistic side as well, i agree with LA, it's much more common than you would imagine.....pretty cool too considering the fact that if they are masochists they aren't afraid to test their toys on themselves, therefor they know and typically get how much pain comes from one implement / toy.

i kept complaining on how much a certain riding crop stung, i kept hearing in return that i was a big baby and to stop complaining to just get out of the punnishment / discipline whatever it was at the time, which wasn't the case, i never stopped complaining over it so He finally gave in and tested it on Himself and then figured out that it did have a harsher sting than He had imagined, lets put it this way, i havn't seen that particular riding crop in over a year and the last time it was used it was only 10 i think rather than the bigger amounts of the past.....

it must have hurt.  *good* now all i have to do is see it and i cry lol.....

~meticulous~

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 2:42:57 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		My Sir enjoys bottoming from time to time although I just cant inflict pain and I think his main reason for doing it is to make me feel uncomfortable, I dont have it in me to be a sadist. I do know he can take quite a lot of pain as Maam Jay noticed also . Not sure if I would call him a massochist but he has said he wont make me do anything he wouldnt be prepared to try himself and that includes trying all new paddles, floggers ect at least once, as well as other  activities he has me do.

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 3:57:20 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		I used to like a few painful things.  Don't mind being scratched, bitten or pounced on. 

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 6:44:50 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

This is a silly question, i know...but how common is it for a Dominant to also like to have pain inflicted on him?
 
 
i identify myself mostly as a masochist, yet i'm somewhat certain i'd have no problems inflicting a limited amount of pain onto another female.  However, i can't wrap my head around inflicting pain onto a Dominant.  Yet, a recent conversation has me wondering if it's more common than i think for a Dom to also crave pain?


First you'll have to recognize that a relationship dynamic is completely separate from those sensations that we find pleasurable.  No one has a problem understanding that a Dominant might enjoy a massage.  Even a deep tissue massage that many people would consider "painful".  That's not even a stone's throw from enjoying thuddy types of impact play, or a flogging.
 
So while it's not terribly common for Dominants to enjoy bottoming, it's also far from being unheard of.  The fact that they process some activities that many people would consider "painful" as "pleasurable" has no bearing on their relationship dynamic.
 
John


Agreed.  It's just an activity they enjoy and find stimulating or a desire to experience more intensity, it's not an authority transfer.  Think of it like him saying I want you to suck my cock only this paticular way, you wouldn't have a problem with that would you?  I don't think it's as uncommon as people may believe.

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 7:18:56 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea
Meaning, a Dom is no less "Dominant" simply because he also enjoys receiving pain?   Enjoying that sensation does not mean that he has to "submit" in anyway to receive it?


Exactly.

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 7:46:20 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Linking "Dominant and sadist' is nothing more than a worn out BDSM sterotype (even if generalizations make it somewhat true).

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/13/2008 7:48:38 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

Meaning, a Dom is no less "Dominant" simply because he also enjoys receiving pain?   Enjoying that sensation does not mean that he has to "submit" in anyway to receive it?


No more than receiving a bad rub from a submissive equates to submitting.

_____________________________

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/15/2008 4:14:00 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

Meaning, a Dom is no less "Dominant" simply because he also enjoys receiving pain?   Enjoying that sensation does not mean that he has to "submit" in anyway to receive it?


Yes, indeed... that's what I meant.  Even bottoms are not necessarily exchanging any power (ie: "submitting") when engaged in a scene.  They may simply be engaged in sensation play, and enjoying the sensation itself without any sense that they're "submitting".
 
John

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/15/2008 4:42:50 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

but how common is it for a Dominant to also like to have pain inflicted on him?

More common than you probably realize.

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/15/2008 5:13:48 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		Somehow I have the idea if we just look at CBT, we'd find a ton of Dominant types who enjoy pain.
 
Long before I discovered BDSM, I realized most guys liked it when ya handled the goods: but some liked it ever so gently…and some liked even harder pulling, bending, kneading, twisting that (then) I was used to doing.  Some guys like slapping their dicks, I’ve met several who’d kick it up a notch by whacking the thing on their thigh.  Some guys like really, really hard pressure on their ball sack, others will go nuts if ya hardly even cup the eggs in yer hand.
 
Guys like their dicks…and some like to stick things down there; even Dominant types.  The one who showed me how easily a sound drops into a penis, dropped his pants and let one slide right down.  Apparently he sometimes masturbates that way.
 
So, bondage, whips and floggers not withstanding…I know lotsa guys, even Dom-types absolutely love rough play.  Oh, and lets not even start about teeth!  OMG

 
MsB

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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/15/2008 5:21:52 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm one of those SadoMaso DOMS.  I enjoy dishing out and recieving it.  Though mind you I know the kind and type of pain I want.   I like to top from the bottom when recieving pain, and somebody who knows me and has been trained and knows what to do.  Not a problem.

So, a sub/slave dishing out some pain to pleasure my maso side, is a bit of a must for me.  I would however be patient and work with her on an issue she has in inflicting the pain I want to feel.   Again, this is an activitity to please me.  I would not expect for her to DOM me during the session but rather carry out a specific service role/function that I have trained her to do, according to my liking.  


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RE: Dominant masochists? - 1/15/2008 6:05:21 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

This is a silly question, i know...but how common is it for a Dominant to also like to have pain inflicted on him?
 
 
i identify myself mostly as a masochist, yet i'm somewhat certain i'd have no problems inflicting a limited amount of pain onto another female.  However, i can't wrap my head around inflicting pain onto a Dominant.  Yet, a recent conversation has me wondering if it's more common than i think for a Dom to also crave pain?


Okay, female Dominant here...  and yes, I like a bit of pain.  No, I never give up control.  Then again, I've taken a rather dominant switch as a pet and playmate because I need a certain amount of pain/defiance/sport when I am in a sexual relationship.   If its just pure D/s without the intimacy of sex or a very close relationship, HELL NO, they aren't going to touch me..lol.

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