Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Struggling with Mind Control


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Struggling with Mind Control Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Struggling with Mind Control - 1/13/2008 1:47:56 PM   
CaraCaeth


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I am having a difficult time adjusting to/submitting to my Master’s mind control.  I’m not exactly sure what the problem is, because there are many times when he asks me to do things that I would normally willingly do on my own.  It’s almost as if the problem I’m having is not with what I’m being asked to do, but the fact that I am being asked or told to do it.  He often has me do things that are for my pleasure, and expects me to enjoy them because he is doing them for me.  I know I should, and rationally I want to.  I have the same difficulties with other kinds of control; but submitting to mind control is by far the hardest for me.  I want to make him happy, nothing makes me happier than when he praises me for being well-behaved or when he tells me he is proud of me.  I guess I really have two questions; what are the kinds of mind controls other Masters impose, and what are some ways I can better accept the control?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/13/2008 3:55:33 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, I have no idea what you mean by "mind control" and why you seem to equate complying with his instructions as him controlling your mind.


(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/13/2008 3:58:09 PM   
summerblossom


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		like hypnosis mind control? if you are talking about Erotic Hypnosis I have alot of experience in that area

_____________________________

''The greatest thing you will ever learn in life is just to love and be loved in return.'' Moulin Rouge

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/13/2008 4:03:45 PM   
lilmissattitude


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		okay...i am relatively new to the lifestyle.  so what exactly is erotic hypnosis?  i mean, cant any hypnosis be used erotically?  perhaps it is just me but the thought of being under hypnosis is HOT HOT HOT!!  sorry for the question if it seems silly.

(in reply to summerblossom)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/13/2008 4:36:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It sounds like you are simply saying that you are not very obedience oriented.  You enjoy submitting and pleasing, but you chafe at being given direct orders to obey.

This is normal- a lot of subs are not obedience oriented.

Obviously the thing to do is talk about it with him directly.  Explain how you feel and why and ask if you can work on ways in which to make you more comfortable with the orders over time, or if he means for them to come across in that way and wants to adjust his language on his own.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lilmissattitude)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/13/2008 9:08:27 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		I don't know how long the two of you have been together, but a D/s dynamic is something that develops over time.  Perhaps your Master is trying to proceed with establishing the dynamic faster than you are ready for?  Communication here is going to be the key.  You need to talk to him about your feelings and how you're responding when the particular disturbing words are spoken.
 
 - pixel


_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/15/2008 1:31:45 PM   
CaraCaeth


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, mind control meaning he wants to control the way I think, the things I like, what is pleasurable to me or not.  Not simply following his instructions, commands, orders.  Yes, we haven't been together very long and I'm very new to being a sub.  Which means definitely I'm struggling with being obedient.  And we have talked about the fact that he is trying to progress much faster than I'm ready for.  He has slowed down a lot for me due to that, but I'm still struggling.



There can be a true grandeur in any degree of submissiveness, because it springs from loyalty to the laws and to an oath, and not from baseness of soul. - Simone Weil  (1910-1943, French Philosopher, Mystic)

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/15/2008 2:28:40 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Hi Cara;

Mind control sounds hottish, but when you really think about it, it quickly loses it's charm.
Only you can control your mind.
What's even more hot is a submissive who is submissive because they choose to be and not because the 'dom' has some freaky power over them.
Anyone can control a robot. It takes a real Dom to build a relationship with, and to help a submissive develop into someone who can contribute to the relationship and does things that are right and healthy for both of them.
Time to stop reading the fairytales, and spend more time meeting and talking to people who live the lifestyle.

Good luck!

~Christina

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/15/2008 2:29:01 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaraCaeth

Ok, mind control meaning he wants to control the way I think, the things I like, what is pleasurable to me or not. 


Good luck with that??  Okay, seriously... controlling the way someone thinks takes intense work, to put it mildly.  Google "brainwashing" and see what you get. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/15/2008 4:20:10 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaraCaeth

I am having a difficult time adjusting to/submitting to my Master’s mind control. I’m not exactly sure what the problem is, because there are many times when he asks me to do things that I would normally willingly do on my own. It’s almost as if the problem I’m having is not with what I’m being asked to do, but the fact that I am being asked or told to do it. He often has me do things that are for my pleasure, and expects me to enjoy them because he is doing them for me. I know I should, and rationally I want to. I have the same difficulties with other kinds of control; but submitting to mind control is by far the hardest for me. I want to make him happy, nothing makes me happier than when he praises me for being well-behaved or when he tells me he is proud of me. I guess I really have two questions; what are the kinds of mind controls other Masters impose, and what are some ways I can better accept the control?


I would perhaps suggest you reflect upon a way to put your voluptuous ego in check. Your Master would do well to have the same agenda, paired with dabbling in the fine arts of reflex conditioning.

Remember that trying not to struggle is inherently a contradiction.

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/15/2008 4:43:54 PM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		If my owner were trying to change me in the things I like, and how I think, I'm pretty sure I would be resisting him with all of my might also. The problem may not be you after all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaraCaeth

Ok, mind control meaning he wants to control the way I think, the things I like, what is pleasurable to me or not.  Not simply following his instructions, commands, orders. 


(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/15/2008 5:29:02 PM   
AtlantisKing111


Posts: 181
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline 		My two cents worth:

Trying to help a sub change their ways of thinking for the betterment of themselves is one thing (such as helping them overcome self-doubt and/or negative thinking).  I'm all for THAT sort of "mind control". 

Trying to change what a slave thinks is pleasurable however sounds like a dangerous move.  A Master and slave should have enough things they both like that one does not need to "mind control" the other into liking something they do not.

Case in point: my girl vessel (simplycarla here on collarme) is very straight and does not care for role playing.  I could tell her she should try girl-girl action and wearing maid/hot nurse/etc. outfits since I find those things hot.  However we both enjoy rough body play, choking, and hair pulling (to name a few things) and I prefer to focus on our common interests, not our differences.

AK 

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/15/2008 8:53:06 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Issuing orders isn't what makes a dominant, inspiring obedience does. 

Same goes for "mind control"...

(in reply to AtlantisKing111)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/18/2008 6:59:07 PM   
LKajira


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i think there are two side to 'mind control'. One is internal enslavement which from this kajira's experience is born out of training and love for one's Master. The other could be hypnosis or subliminal message training. This kajira's knowledge of regular hypnosis is limited, though the subliminal message variety can be very beneficial.

my former Master allowed this kajira to use Subliminal Blaster on her computer to better aid in her internal enslavement and become subconciously more familiar with all of His rules, the positions, mantras and other things that He required of me. Some were simple affirmations to help me accept my slavery and then later they were adapted to reinforce my slavery. It does work, but should be dealt with caution because such programs are best handled by those with a clear understanding of psychology or how to use positive affirmations to alter behavioral or thought patterns. These can include beliefs, standards and many other things that we kajirae have been instilled with through life or our upbringing.

By way of example, a positive affirmation can be:

"I am happy."
"He is Master."
"I am slave."
"I will obey my Master because He means everything to me."
"I obey my Master."
"I am obedient."
"I work hard for my Master."

These are just a handful. The program i mentioned has a long list of affirmations included that are used by therapists and other professionals for cognitive thought and behavioral therapy. They have been proven medically to work and using the program did work for me. However, again caution is needed because in the beginning the mind will fight things that are contrary to what it has been taught, thus 15 minutes is the maximum time for having the program running or nausea will occur. Once the mind has started accepting the affirmations, longer periods can be used.

The program can be set to be virtually invisible to the naked eye, meaning that it is impossible to read the words, but because the subconcious mind is taking in information all the time, whether W/we are conciously aware of it or not, it will learn in time. All one sees is a barely visible flickering somewhere on the monitor's screen. The messages can be positioned in many places on the monitor. This kajira found that the center was best because it was the point where the eyes were most focused on. After a while one no longer notices it. There is also an easy stop and start button that allows the program to be turned on and off at will. So, if anyone has kids, or the Master or Mistress wishes to use the computer, or others are present, They will not be influenced by it. In fact, each section allows for editing the affirmations and saving them into the program.

The other type of hypnosis from what i have read so far does not always work on everyone. Subliminal messaging and the simple time for training and developing an internal bond with one's Master or Mistress are considered to be the best options. However, regular hypnosis and the subliminal messaging should act as a complement to regular training and bonding, never as a replacement because they merely reinforce what is already being taught and make the mind more open and less reactive.

This kajira is curious if anyone else has used this program and what Masters and Mistresses feel about this.

< Message edited by LKajira -- 1/18/2008 7:04:33 PM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/18/2008 7:43:38 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaraCaeth

Ok, mind control meaning he wants to control the way I think, the things I like, what is pleasurable to me or not. 


Good luck with that??  Okay, seriously... controlling the way someone thinks takes intense work, to put it mildly.  Google "brainwashing" and see what you get. 

Cali



Actually controlling how someone thinks (not necessarily content) is part of behavior modification.  Changing their inital mental response to something that is more productive is the actual goal of bm.  I do question whether it's all that appropriate in a relationship however.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 1/18/2008 7:44:17 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/19/2008 5:24:21 AM   
tulitukka


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaraCaeth

Ok, mind control meaning he wants to control the way I think, the things I like, what is pleasurable to me or not.


Good luck with that?? Okay, seriously... controlling the way someone thinks takes intense work, to put it mildly. Google "brainwashing" and see what you get.

Cali



Actually controlling how someone thinks (not necessarily content) is part of behavior modification. Changing their inital mental response to something that is more productive is the actual goal of bm. I do question whether it's all that appropriate in a relationship however.


Doesn't the appropriateness depend on the intent?

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/19/2008 5:35:36 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaraCaeth

Ok, mind control meaning he wants to control the way I think, the things I like, what is pleasurable to me or not.  Not simply following his instructions, commands, orders.  Yes, we haven't been together very long and I'm very new to being a sub.  Which means definitely I'm struggling with being obedient.  And we have talked about the fact that he is trying to progress much faster than I'm ready for.  He has slowed down a lot for me due to that, but I'm still struggling.










I simply cannot imagine someone doing that, though I know it exists more than we care to know--why would one want a mindless wonder??  If you are fighting, sounds to Me like you are fighting it based on your logical mind that says" hell no I am not giving up who i am!"--after all wasn't it your mind too that attracted Him?
 
I say fight long and hard before you are used and left.

Though I agree that power exchange is about controlling normal responses to certain things-- it isnt taking away one's individuality in the process, IMHO

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 1/19/2008 5:39:36 AM >

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/19/2008 8:35:34 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		Inspire me to feel =  sure : )
TELL me how & what to feel =  huh?  exactly how does that work?
   
imo
 dominance is not the same as being domineering
and being in control is not the same as being controlling.
 
they feel different......and they create/cause much different effects and consequences, as the case may be.
 
perhaps you are resisting because you are not feeling his control but rather the controlling ?
Controlling comes from a place of weakness and fear in the person.  
 
personally, it would be very difficult for me to submit ( give my control over) to someone who was working from a place of fear and weakness.
 
 
 
 
 

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/19/2008 11:28:40 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Issuing orders isn't what makes a dominant, inspiring obedience does. 

Same goes for "mind control"...
Well said, Michael. I'll go one step further. Master once told me that the reality of submission is not the automatic obedience and it's not only doing the fun stuff. The reality of submission is when you get to something that you don't really want to do and doing it anyway.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Struggling with Mind Control - 1/19/2008 11:53:56 AM   
waterdance


Posts: 43
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline 		i think that the one thing that has been said in Eeveryone's posts are "communication."  To me it's the key to success.  As for the verbage of "mind control". It means different things to different Ppeople, imho .. what works for  you and Your One is what is important. 

_____________________________

It's hard to keep a good woman down, then again maybe that would be fun.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Struggling with Mind Control Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078