Trust and honesty

Trust and honesty (Full Version)

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MasterRoad -> Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 2:41:33 PM)
How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair. I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others.

camille65 -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 2:48:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterRoad How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with youthis tends to set people off & I hope it doesn't obscure the question and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, if he fixed stuff for me, then sureand accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on.they're never offTo complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair.Beeep that one doesn't apply and turns into something totally nonconsensual for whoever 'you' are married to as well as any family or friends that happen to also ever be in the vicinity. I've been with R for 8 years this Feb and my life is an open (and online) book to him because there is no one else here. I had a roomate for a short bit and it didn't even have to be discussed, the reality that to have a running cam with someone else in the house is wrong. I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others.

IrishMist -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 2:55:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterRoad How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair. I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others. It would not matter if it was a Dominant, a submissive, a male, a female or a chimpanzee....I would kick them in the fucking mouth and tell them to get a real life.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 2:55:48 PM)
I'd have to take a pass on that one. He doesn't want much, does he? lol

liminalRapture -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 3:09:23 PM)
I can't deal with lies. Someone who wants me to lie, no matter what, is not someone I could be with. The rest, I might be OK with, but I'm deeply monogamous, so it would have to be in a context of monogamy, and it would have to be presented as "this is my kink" no "I don't trust you."

AquaticSub -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 3:09:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterRoad How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair. I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others. All the other reasons I wouldn't be involved in this aside, I wouldn't do it. If you don't trust me, you don't trust me and you need to find a partner you can trust.

proudsub -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 3:46:19 PM)
quote: wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on I would never let anyone do that to my computer, not even Hubby.[:o]

ownedgirlie -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 3:57:58 PM)
I wouldn't much care about the computer part, but he doesn't have time, energy, or desire to monitor things that closely. Since all of me belongs to him anyway, then my words - typewritten or otherwise - are his to know if he so chooses. But he wants me to have the freedom to express myself to him and to others without feeling paranoid about it. I have offered him passwords before, but he didn't want them. I don't live with him, and he does want my cam and mic on at all times, and he tunes in whenever he wants - day or night. It was awkward at first, but I have become so accustomed to it that I miss it when it's off . He tunes in whenever he wants. I can turn them off when company is over, however, to respect their privacy. Some of my friends don't care, and tell me to go ahead and keep it on, but I never leave it on without their knowing about it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 4:34:51 PM)
I have no problem with a master who wants to do all of that- if you've decided he owns you, and that's what the ownership entails, then kudos. The issue here is that both of you are having an affair, I've long past those days and won't return to them.

winterlight -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 4:55:44 PM)
OH, H*** NOOOOOOOOO

MasterRoad -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 4:56:40 PM)
Actually, I am not in the relationship, but a concerned onlooker... quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I have no problem with a master who wants to do all of that- if you've decided he owns you, and that's what the ownership entails, then kudos. The issue here is that both of you are having an affair, I've long past those days and won't return to them.

subantionette -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 5:01:16 PM)
That goes aganist my moral code, it is an afair and that is wrong if the Dom's wife knew and was ok with it then that would be different, cause then it be poly and not an afair as long as there is a lie taking place i consider it an afair.

angelslave77 -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 5:19:27 PM)
The wanting to go through files ect I have a problem with as there may be confidental stuff on there. The cam/mic yeah well if you live alone and thats your thing it is all good. The whole cheating thing I do sort of understand, it can be tough when you are kinky and your partner is not but I think the persons involved also need to be prepared for the fact eventually they will be caught out. I think it is better to sort your life out than to cheat but I am not going to pass judgement here. A Dom friend of mine just got caught out and he may well lose everything, his wife, his daughter, his career the type of job that one needs to be honest and upstanding not to mention this is a small town. So I think they are playing a risky game but just my 2cents worth

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 5:25:08 PM)
I wouldn't ever get involved with someone who was cheating on a spouse, nor would I cheat on mine. Even if he wasn't cheating on his spouse nobody but me gets to mck with private files on my pc period.

beargonewild -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 5:34:19 PM)
Firstly, I wouldn't allow anyone to install programs on my computer that would enable someone else to remotely moniter my online activities. Secondly, if the person was already spoken for and started chasing after me, I might get involved with them. Being a part of an affair would depend if my own relationship was open or closed. If I was single, then my standards are a bit more relaxed. Suffice to say, being the "other" man is a road I've been down before a few times.

bamabbwsub -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 5:40:45 PM)
quote: How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair. My answer: Hell, no. If a man cheats on his spouse, what will keep him from cheating on me? My analysis of this person: I don't know the "Dom" in question, of course, but it sounds to me as though he may be a control-freak Dom wanna-be who just wants kinky, extramarital sex on the side. The issues with the computer reek of his lack of trust (gee, wonder why?) of his "submissive." Besides, if she's in a vanilla relationship, how is she supposed to keep her webcam and microphone turned on with her SO in the same household (assuming they live together)? So not only is he a cheating control freak, he's a virtual Peeping Tom too. I'd rather stay single and Dom-less, thanks.

decstorm37 -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 6:13:05 PM)
Well as for the affair No way would i do that. Like said before if he will cheat on his wife what is to say he won't cheat on me. The computer things hell no. My computer that i paid for is not open to just anyone. Him wanting to monitor things on my PC screams to me as he does not trust me. So why would i be with him in the first place if i can't trust him and he can't trust me?

fullofgrace69 -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 6:14:34 PM)
i wuldnt do it for various reasons, the biggest being i do not nor will i ever install a webcam again on my pc cos of the way a certain dum choose to use it wen i was brand brand new.....ive kinda got a fear wont even go on cam for friends now :( oh and i dont share at all, and if im in a relationship thats the only relationshp im gonna have.:)

littlebitxxx -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 6:16:45 PM)
<FR> NO!

Siona -> RE: Trust and honesty (1/13/2008 8:51:59 PM)
Not no..but hell no!

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