"Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-)

"Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (Full Version)

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caitlyn -> "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 6:03:13 AM)
Over the past few days, something has come to my attention that has shaken the very notion of online vs. offline (I will no longer call it real), and the effect offline lifestylers have on the honorable online community. [;)] At a Munch in a large major metropolitan area, a strong, powerful and arrogant, dominant male took out some "emails" from his fake persona on collarme (for the sake of example, lets call the fake persona "spnkgurl4u"), to read the trolly-troll material so that everyone could get a nice laugh. 200+ emails and posts, and I witnessed them with my own eyes. Oh what fun was had by one and all. This was of course followed by a diatribe about the perils and pitfalls of the online community, and how it was destroying the "lifestyle." This got me thinking ... (usually dangerous) If only one-tenth of this group participated in this sort of activity, that would be a considerable number of people, with considerable fake persona's. Now, some may have more than one, but lets give the benefit of doubt and say that each participant has only one. Extrapolated out over the vast number of groups around the world, there can be little doubt that the vast majority of fakes online, are actually fake profiles made by "real" lifestylers, for the purpose of showing off at a Munch. One can only imagine as some well known and respected dominant in a local group is reading the post from his fake person, "spankgurl4u" ... some other well know submissive is blushng brightly, knowing that the response from "SuperDomSpankerMan", is actually from her. Oh, the horror!!!!! [;)] I'm off to the coast ... enjoy.

imtempting -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 6:47:17 AM)
Hmm interesting...

sultryvoice -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 6:50:22 AM)
Again shown, another pitfall online...Sometimes you just can't decipher who is sincere and who is taking you for a ride..After this, this so called "Dom" is one to look up to? In my opinion, this "man" just degraded himself to pitiful by taking anothers email and bringing it public. To me, that is not one to look up to but a sorry excuse for a person! He just lowered himself in the eyes of many..You don't make fun of others to boost your ego! Respectfully, sultry

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 6:53:02 AM)
That's a really interesting idea [:D]. I feel there is so much energy wasted by "real life" participants complaining about those who choose to explore online. I do separate those who explore seriously online (for whatever reason- and there are some legitimate reasons) from those who simply are looking for a form of porn, but I see no point in "offliners" constantly complaining about online people/acitivites and how they are destroying the real life community. It might be interesting to think about who is really "invading" on the other's territory- the real life participants now using online as a medium to find partners, or those who have always done some sort of role playing online and who are happy to stay behind their computers. The fact is, both groups are encountering each other online, but those of us who participate in local real time groups don't have to deal with online participants once we head offline to our groups. Perhaps those who feel real life is THE only way to go should stay offline? Just something to spark some thought. Be well, Julie

MemphisDsCouple -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 8:01:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sultryvoice Again shown, another pitfall online... hmmmmm Or maybe the unintentionally revealed truth about groups.

OsideGirl -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 8:09:12 AM)
I think it says more about the individual than it does about real life groups. This person obviously needed to prove his superiority. Insecure people do some amazing things. While I'll admit most of the real timers I know don't get what the cyber is about, we tend to have a "whatever floats yor boats" attitude. As long as a cyber person who has never done real time doesn't present themselves as experts on something like caning or single tail use, I leave then to their own desires. So, I think the number of people that would do something like this are rare. I also think that there are just as many pitfalls to real time as there are online.

EvilTwin1 -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 8:10:00 AM)
I would have to wonder what this dominant male really hoped to accomplish by this "revelation"? Personally, I wonder what type of person would take the time to collect 200+ emails, print them off, bundle them up and bring them to a munch? Aren't there other more fulfilling things to do in this world? Just my opinion.

pinkpleasures -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 8:43:13 AM)
quote: Perhaps those who feel real life is THE only way to go should stay offline? Just something to spark some thought. LadyJulieAnn This irony escaped me until You posted it. Those of us meeting potential partners through the 'net never KNOW who is behind a profile, here or elsewhere. There is a measure of trust required to assume You are speaking to the individual described in the profile. We need better instincts than "real life" lifestylers, who can at least be sure of the sex of their audience. Those of us not interested in public play (as participant or as audience) are somewhat cut off from the "real time" people locally because, in some areas, that is the specific purpose of the gathering. So we respond to email; go to Yahoo IM; to phone; to meeting for coffee...and hope that eventually this process will lead to something we want. Sometimes i feel like shampoo; wash; rinse; repeat, LOL. pinkpleasures

pinkpleasures -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 8:46:31 AM)
quote: I also think that there are just as many pitfalls to real time as there are online. OsideGirl No kidding. At least twice, i have met a "Dom" in real life, only to later discover he was married. Nothing happened but it annoys the hell out of me to be lied to, particularly by a man looking to step out on his wife. pinkpleasures

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 9:21:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl I think it says more about the individual than it does about real life groups. This person obviously needed to prove his superiority. Insecure people do some amazing things. While I'll admit most of the real timers I know don't get what the cyber is about, we tend to have a "whatever floats yor boats" attitude. As long as a cyber person who has never done real time doesn't present themselves as experts on something like caning or single tail use, I leave then to their own desires. So, I think the number of people that would do something like this are rare. I also think that there are just as many pitfalls to real time as there are online. Ditto, IMO it would do more to damage his level of trust with others more than anything. I can enjoy getting a laugh over the dorky things we get online, but then to continue to grind them into the dust just is not cool.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 9:22:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures Those of us not interested in public play (as participant or as audience) are somewhat cut off from the "real time" people locally because, in some areas, that is the specific purpose of the gathering. So we respond to email; go to Yahoo IM; to phone; to meeting for coffee...and hope that eventually this process will lead to something we want. I know there are a few regular munches in your area that are purely for vanilla social time with no play or sex involved at all. If you want specifics, let me know.

thelight -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 10:20:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sultryvoice don't make fun of others to boost your ego!

bbwjerzeesub -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 11:05:16 AM)
EvilTwin1 you read my mind..... I keep wondering how insecure a man , (especially one who professes to be a Dominant), has to be, to try to elevate himself, by mocking others. Deception is so beneath any who consider themselves worthy of guiding and possessing another. I wish while he was reading these emails someone would have told him how he diminished himself .......

Kasia -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 11:39:22 AM)
There are jerks everywhere - online and offline, in "lifestyle" and out of "lifestyle", on the streets and in the churches. Its just a matter of self respect and good manners not to play games on other peoples feeling like that particular jerk did. In fact, nothing new and quite pitiful.

EvilGeoff -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 8:30:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn Over the past few days, something has come to my attention that has shaken the very notion of online vs. offline (I will no longer call it real), and the effect offline lifestylers have on the honorable online community. [;)]. As others have already pointed out, this isn't a online vs online issue. This is an issue with a individual bozo [8D] , pure and simple. The online realm is a legitmate resource, I got my start in the BDSM community through online. But I assume NO ONE online is who and what they say they are until such time as we meet face to face, or until we have known each other for a very long time and they have presented themselves to me consistently with the same personality, character, and mannerisms. Online, anyone can prsent themselves as being anything. That All-American gal from Des Moine with the gorgeous pic in her profile may claim to be 27, 36DD-24-34 with auburn hair and green eyes and call herself subgirl4u, but "she" may, in fact, be a 53 year old, fat short, balding accountant named Murray, from Reading, PA. The flip side is true also. I lost a sub to a "Dominant" male who kept flirting with her online, kept feeding her what she wanted to hear, etc... I kept saying this guy is lying, everything coming out of his mouth is a lie... but my girl didn't want to hear that, and she kept disobeying me by staying in contact with this "Dom" I finally let her go over the issue. A year later she came crying to me, telling me her "dream Dom" is, in fact a woman, and had even gone so far as to have her husband talk to my ex-girl on the phone at times to maintain the illusion. Let this be a cautionary tale, people. Do NOT give your heart to someone you know _only_ from online. Check their bona fides, GET REFERENCES AND CHECK THEM. Not just emails either, get phone numbers and make calls. Your online amour can maybe fake one or two voices, half a dozen is going to be difficult. But try to get references from different area codes, genders, etc. There are users, abusers, and losers a-plenty, online and off. 'Nuff said, - Geoff

AAkasha -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 9:51:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn Over the past few days, something has come to my attention that has shaken the very notion of online vs. offline (I will no longer call it real), and the effect offline lifestylers have on the honorable online community. [;)] At a Munch in a large major metropolitan area, a strong, powerful and arrogant, dominant male took out some "emails" from his fake persona on collarme (for the sake of example, lets call the fake persona "spnkgurl4u"), to read the trolly-troll material so that everyone could get a nice laugh. 200+ emails and posts, and I witnessed them with my own eyes. Oh what fun was had by one and all. This was of course followed by a diatribe about the perils and pitfalls of the online community, and how it was destroying the "lifestyle." This got me thinking ... (usually dangerous) If only one-tenth of this group participated in this sort of activity, that would be a considerable number of people, with considerable fake persona's. Now, some may have more than one, but lets give the benefit of doubt and say that each participant has only one. Extrapolated out over the vast number of groups around the world, there can be little doubt that the vast majority of fakes online, are actually fake profiles made by "real" lifestylers, for the purpose of showing off at a Munch. One can only imagine as some well known and respected dominant in a local group is reading the post from his fake person, "spankgurl4u" ... some other well know submissive is blushng brightly, knowing that the response from "SuperDomSpankerMan", is actually from her. Oh, the horror!!!!! [;)] I'm off to the coast ... enjoy. Another reason some of us don't like going to munches. Some insecure dominant has nothing better to do with his time than "impress" others by showing his printouts of his fake online persona developed just for laughs (read: attention)? Am I the only one that would have rolled my eyes and said "what a loser" and left the place, never to return? Akasha

raeanha -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 10:30:48 PM)
I never assume ANYone is who they appear to be online. OR offline.. we all wear masks walking in and out of work and the grocery store.. not a soul on the planet requires a computer to hide who they are.. In fact, I find myself to be more open.. more myself ONline rather than off. I had a man tell me once that if I wanted to meet "quality" people, I should go to church. I disagreed with him vehemently. At church I certainly could meet people who ACTED in a expected, prescribed way. HOwever, if a man online approaches me, ready to have engaging intelligent conversation rather than waving his naughty bits at me and asking me the size of my boobs, in this medium.. where he can say, be, and do anything he wants without consequence.... I have learned something important about him.

DomButNotForgotn -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/27/2005 11:02:30 PM)
Given the anonyminity of online profiles/personas, there are plenty of fakes, modified profiles (to look more or less extreme then you tend to be), etc., however anyone who wastes their time generating 200 e-mails for sport is more than a fake, they are a fool.

thelight -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/28/2005 12:48:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff Do NOT give your heart to someone you know _only_ from online. Check their bona fides, GET REFERENCES AND CHECK THEM. Not just emails either, get phone numbers and make calls. Your online amour can maybe fake one or two voices, half a dozen is going to be difficult. But try to get references from different area codes, genders, etc. There are users, abusers, and losers a-plenty, online and off. o.k. i'm just gonna play devil's advocate for a minute. i agree that peope need to keep their eyes open. but at the same time, i don't think it's ood to go around totally paranoid. i mean, don't let your head rule your heart too much. don't go through life afraid o getting hurt. you will get hurt, but you'll get better, and you'll learn. i think many people are so afraid of getting hurt that they shelter themselves from feeling much at all. i mean, i'm not so sure having your heart stomped on is any worse than having it ignored. i'd rather feel pain than feel bored or feel empty. but that's just me. as far as this thread goes, if you've been talking to someone or a month, and they stil won't ca you on the phone, i might be a bit suspicious. but i'm not gonna tel someone to piss off just because they won't provide references from diferent area codes. i mean, i couldn't do that. what am i gonna do, have someone call my friends, or my ex, or my family? i can picture it now. 'hey mom, i need you to do me a favor, and validate my identity to a potential sub who is a bit suspicious as to whether i am, in fact, who i say i am.' not gonna happen.

thelight -> RE: "Real" Drama, Played Out Online ;-) (8/28/2005 1:05:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: raeanha I never assume ANYone is who they appear to be online. OR offline.. we all wear masks walking in and out of work and the grocery store.. not a soul on the planet requires a computer to hide who they are.. In fact, I find myself to be more open.. more myself ONline rather than off. me too. quote: I had a man tell me once that if I wanted to meet "quality" people, I should go to church. I disagreed with him vehemently. At church I certainly could meet people who ACTED in a expected, prescribed way. hmm. i dunno, i don't go to church. but i imagine it's just like everywhere else: everyone's putting on a face, but some put more effort into it than others. quote: HOwever, if a man online approaches me, ready to have engaging intelligent conversation rather than waving his naughty bits at me and asking me the size of my boobs, in this medium.. where he can say, be, and do anything he wants without consequence.... I have learned something important about him. well, at least the guy who asks you about your boobs is being honest about the fact that he's a horny chestman. there's more to be said for that than many people are willing to give credit for.

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