RE: Safewords

RE: Safewords (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

[Poll]

Safewords

I am a Dominant, using safewords is topping from the bottom.

2% (2)

I am a Dominant, using safewords is a necessary safety precaution.

36% (27)

I am a submissive, using safewords is topping from the bottom.

10% (8)

I am a submissive, using safewords is a necessary safety precaution.

49% (36)

Total Votes : 73

(last vote on : 8/29/2008 4:21:45 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

LadyHathor -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 7:29:34 PM)
*You missed a few options: I am a Dominant and I do not use safe words because I know My submissive and the trust is there.*

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 7:32:52 PM)
Safe words in general can be a safety precaution when trying something new. Anything, be it safe words or dangerous activities, can be abused. It is not topping from the bottom to use a safe word to stop an activity that is not going right. It IS topping to use one to stop something becasue you are being difficult and it wasnt going the way you wanted it to. I dont have a specific safe word for Fox, if he says no or please stop, I do. I dont trust word choices that might take too much thought, since they can be forgotten. DV

topcat -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 7:50:35 PM)
I encourage and enjoy it when the subject at hand begs, screams, howls & protests, so I do think a safeword to mark something that requires my immediate attention- Arm coming out of the socket, candles set her hair on fire, cat decided to sharpen his claws on her thigh (actually happened- I was looking the other way<g>)Etc,<g>.

juliaoceania -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 8:05:42 PM)
I haven't read the thread. I did not vote because my answer is not on there... Safewords are a useful communication tool that some employ to help them maintain safety. They are not necessary for everyone, they are not topping from the bottom either...

moonvine -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 10:13:57 PM)
They are a necessity, always, for me. That doesn't mean they ever have to be used. I recall finding that ice inserted certain places made me nauseous, and waiting to actually vomit during a scene, unless that is one's kink, would seem foolish to me. I have had dominants who thought I didn't safeword often enough. I'm sure there are dominants who would think I safeword too much. If people want to think that's topping from the bottom, well, people have thought worse things of me and probably will again.

Feric -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 11:40:23 PM)
When my partner and I got started, the first thing we did was agree on a Safeword. Since we're both new to thel ifestyle, we agreed that there had to be a check against the passions that will undoubtedly be released.

laurell3 -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 11:43:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I haven't read the thread. I did not vote because my answer is not on there... Safewords are a useful communication tool that some employ to help them maintain safety. They are not necessary for everyone, they are not topping from the bottom either... Agreed. Nor do I believe they are any indication of a lack of trust. We are humans and cannot always know what is going on with the other person. Not knowing does not equate to not trusting.

KnOcala -> RE: Safewords (1/13/2008 11:47:27 PM)
I believe it is for safety and not a lack of trust. Everyone is different and if you are really pushing someone or testing their limits you have to be responsible to their desires as well as safety. A scenne that goes bad could have terrible results for both parties. A lack of trust would be abusing safe words trying to control a scene to the subs wishes by using safe words for anything else and I don't believe to many people would tolerate that,

peppermint -> RE: Safewords (1/14/2008 12:07:34 AM)
We've known each other 2 1/2 years and lived 24/7 for 2 years. We still have safewords. We consider them a communication tool. You see, as much as i trust him and wish he had super human powers, he is not a mind reader. In the heat of the moment i am sometimes unable to use regular words to tell him what might be wrong. Hence, the safeword which is easy to say and remember. We do not consider a safeword as a lack of trust. On the contrary, he trusts that i will use it if necessary, and i trust that he will appropriately respond upon my saying it. In other words, a safeword is part of our trust in each other.

acissej -> RE: Safewords (1/14/2008 6:03:12 AM)
My husband and I have been together for nine years, and though we had a safeword in the first few years, I never used it. I'm not sure he'd even remember it if I suddenly called it out. If I want him to stop (or vice versa since we occasionally switch), I can communicate that without a specific safeword. He knows if I say "no" or "stop" or whatever, I really mean it, and he'll stop. It's not because we think safewords show a lack of trust or topping from the bottom. It's just the way our relationship works.

rubberpet -> RE: Safewords (1/14/2008 6:24:51 AM)
The only time I feel I'd need to "safe word out" with Mistress is if we try something completely new and it's too unpleasant to continue, like a new bondage position that is very hard on my damaged knees or shoulders. Assuming we've played enough for Her to know my limits, how much She could push them, and how well She'd know my body and facial expressions, I honestly don't see a need for one. It's not a lack of trust in Her should I feel I need one, it's just a matter of safety.

IrishMist -> RE: Safewords (1/14/2008 6:30:40 AM)
~FR~ I am not a fan of safe words in any situation

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Safewords (1/15/2008 10:36:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde "Safe words in substantial play (i.e. not play party short term or hookups) can indicate a lack of trust. If Y/you feel that there is a need for safewords, it may indicate that there is not enough trust from one person to the other for a scene to occur." I can't vote because I don't fit any of them. I feel that if the bottom feels they need one, they can use one and it's not topping from the bottom, but, I don't feel that safewords are always necessary. I feel that they are often used as poor shortcuts for REAL communication. If that communication is in place, they aren't needed. So, I find some truth in the above quote. However, I do feel there are specific scenes where they are necessary. Any scene where the submissive is expected to resist, say no, yell for help, etc. etc. needs a code word that means, "Hey, there really IS a problem." Master Fire

marsman -> RE: Safewords (1/17/2008 11:13:21 AM)
For me as a Dominant, safewords help me communicate with a submissive and as a ritual it helps me to start being more serious and attentive. Safewords are not a matter of trust, they are a matter of communication. I can't read my submissive's mind, so if she gets a cramp or a rope starts pinching or something else I don't detect, then she has a way of "telling" me that something is wrong. As a practical matter, a Dominant should never rely on a submissive to give her safeword. Usually when something goes wrong in a scene the Dominant must act to stop the scene even before the submissive communicates that something is wrong.

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Safewords (1/17/2008 12:23:33 PM)
Your safe words are only as good as in whom you trust with them,,Trust,a 5 lettered word that bannered about frequently and given falsely in many case,WE don't use a safe word ,we believe that after our many years we know the difference between "discomfort' and the real need for play to stop..communication,a 13 letter word.wow this is getting scary..Talking is not communicating unless both sides hear and understands what is to happen..

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

0.0625