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RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:34:17 PM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

I have mentioned on a vanilla site that I am a rather "in control" type of woman and received a couple of great replies. I met one man when I was living in Boston a few years ago that was very submissive and he caught what I was saying immediately. We became great friends.

Oh-- and BSB-- I really do love the new pic too!

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 21

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:45:26 PM

Tigrita

Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
I think it unlikely that they will have found Match.com, and not one of the ABCs. On top of that, the type of doormat I want is smart enough to find one of the ABCs.

I find this position interesting. I get where you're coming from, that you want someone who knows themselves and is willing to get out there and find it... But I think there are a lot of smart, kinky people out there who haven't fathomed the existence of sites like CM, I certainly didn't before I was pointed here by someone I'd begun to get to know. I think if you aren't into porn, and the bells and whistles of kink and fetishes, the internet isn't the first place your mind goes to find the like-minded. I was interested in D/s, even though I didn't really know about labels and definitions of it, and I was interested in kinky sex in a primal and D/s way, but not a whips and chains way, not something it occured to me that you could do an internet search for. I had a lot of the standard misconceptions about 'those kinds of people'. I wouldn't have dreamed of searching the net for sex-related groups, would have probably gotten 99.999% porn if I had. CM is hard to find unless you already know exactly what you're looking for and that it exists and are willing to bog through the outlandish porn and fantasy to get here, and on here. For this reason I didn't find an organized way to find what I was looking for until I was 26, versus when I was about 20 and first started thinking along these lines. So, I agree, you might find some untapped submissive diamonds in the rough in the vanilla online dating scene.

(sorry BSB if that is a hijack.)

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 22

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 5:02:56 PM

CdnExplorer

Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

I agree with you on this one. I was always kinky, but it never occurred to me that there would be personal sites focused entirely on kink. It wasn't until I started finding the local scene, when someone pointed CM out to me, that I actually found it and made a profile.

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 23

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 5:16:58 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

has anyone met on e-bay???

ed to add well we've used
AC/DC
M/s
D/s
BDSM
MMF
FFM
LTR
TG
TV
I just thought the letter e was rather left out

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/14/2008 5:19:43 PM >

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 24

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 5:18:50 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Not yet, but I get everything else on there, so give me time.

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 25

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 5:23:40 PM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

When I thought I was retired and living in a cabin in the woods…I joined Match.com Right after that, I discovered BDSM, Alt, Bondage, etc. I promptly forgot the guys I’d ‘met’ at Match; who had been boring as the dickens, anyway.

About two or three years later I got some message saying I had mail at the vanilla site; I picked it up and replied to the guy that he might check my profile at Alt…and get back to me if he was still interested.

He went gaga! Turns out he thought maybe he was submissive, has an awesome foot-fetish (that at age 60 he’d never been able to realize), and was so into pee-play, he’d even beg for a to-go cup and hand me a 42 oz cup!

Unfortunately (for me, anyway), he didn’t like the slightest bit of pain. Dammit.

He was my first boy, though…it was fun while it lasted; but I think he was more into kink than submission.

MsB

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This one, as well!

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 26

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 5:24:30 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Not yet, but I get everything else on there, so give me time.

I just did a quick search (not that I'm that desperate) and found

black shirt with BDSM design - rare & unique

not that rare though as there appears to be two of them.......

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/14/2008 5:25:40 PM >

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 27

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 5:40:00 PM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

I use "spankable" as one of my 3 adjectives on okcupid.com. I figure that should clue anyone in who has half a brain:)

I'm looking for someone very specific who's looking for someone very specific though.

I have had a lot of one time dates from vanilla dating sites and met a guy here with whom I had a short relationship....so I guess CM has been more successful in that regard.

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(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 28

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 6:12:51 PM

sublibrarian

Posts: 96
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

My Dom found me on okcupid. I think I might have said I was "kinky" in my profile, but the tests on there are what really gave me away. I've done a lot of the sex and bdsm tests and I come up as submissive on the bdsm ones. :-) I had been on CM a few years ago and didn't have any luck finding a Dom, but there I was not even looking for one and he found me on a vanilla site. What luck! (I also like okcupid because there's a lot of poly people on there.)

(in reply to moonvine)

Post #: 29

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 6:29:20 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublibrarian

My Dom found me on okcupid. I think I might have said I was "kinky" in my profile, but the tests on there are what really gave me away. I've done a lot of the sex and bdsm tests and I come up as submissive on the bdsm ones. :-) I had been on CM a few years ago and didn't have any luck finding a Dom, but there I was not even looking for one and he found me on a vanilla site. What luck! (I also like okcupid because there's a lot of poly people on there.)

I've tried okcupid too. It's pretty good and the test really do out you so fast. :) I'm glad to see I'm not the only one on that site too.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to sublibrarian)

Post #: 30

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 7:06:47 PM

tempest1961

Posts: 42
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

For what it's worth, my current packmate and I met over at Cupid. HER profile said "NOT Vanilla" and that was the end of my tomcat days....

>>>Shepherd

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Top Dogs ROCK! (Until the she-Wolf comes a-calling)

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 31

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 8:22:18 PM

Fnordstrum

Posts: 164
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

Heh, I pretty much always mention that I'm into BDSM on any profile I happen to have.. Perhaps not anything more detailed than mentioning BDSM, depending on the site, but, yeah.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

_____________________________

Power = Work / Time
Knowledge is Power and Time is Money, so
Knowledge = Work / Money, and Money = Work / Knowledge
Therefore, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity (regardless of work done), and vice versa.

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 32

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 8:43:30 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

(BSB- very hot new pic, but I still love the one your Michael uses)

A Dom on Match.com started the whole thing for me.

When I was first separated, and really, really enjoying the end of marital celebacy, I met someone on Match. We dated a few times and decided to sleep together. I had recently learned the term "bottom" from a old friend and thought- wow, that describes me well. So I told him I'm kind of a bottom (thinking I'm so cool and hip and sexually experienced). He responded very cooly- yes, he's familiar with that term, etc.

Well, the first time I slept with him, I nearly plotzed. It wasn't the sex, per se, but his control and, yes, dominance. I had never experienced anything like it. I quickly became obsessed and had no idea why. We had both expressed that we were going to be casual and my feelings were inappropriate for our relationship. Finally, I told him how out of my mind I was and that I wanted to get to know him better. So, one night, he showed me his playroom and explained all the things he really enjoyed doing. He called himself a "sensual sadist". He asked if I would allow him to do some things to me. But he told me to take my time and think it over. He thought I was freaking out, but what was really going through my mind is "everything happens for a reason". I was scared, but there was no way I was gonna pass up this sexual adventure.

I agreed, he did, and the rest is history. We didn't work out, but he launched me on this path. I found myself and I found Master here on CM.

And I have Match.com to thank for the whole thing.

BTW- when I was first learning and still on vanilla sites, I found a great Dom on j-date, of all places!

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(in reply to Fnordstrum)

Post #: 33

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:44:11 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

Thanks hejira.. I like that pic of us too...
and I know exactly the kind of sub frenzy you were describing... It is all consuming for me..
j-date? seriously? lucky girl.. most men who contacted me were very nebishy..

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 34

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:56:26 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme1

I have mentioned on a vanilla site that I am a rather "in control" type of woman and received a couple of great replies. I met one man when I was living in Boston a few years ago that was very submissive and he caught what I was saying immediately. We became great friends.

Oh-- and BSB-- I really do love the new pic too!

Thanks MamaDomme! I love yours too!!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to MamaDomme1)

Post #: 35

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/15/2008 1:10:40 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

LOL I always screamed in vanilla chatrooms I was looking for slaves/subs.
Was fun to see how many "vanilla" girls are curious about having their ass slept.

I think people on datings sites (on average) are used to more then people not looking for partners on the web.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 36

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